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  #1  
Old Apr 19, 2015, 10:30 PM
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AleneElora AleneElora is offline
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Hello guys!
How are you feeling today? I'm not going to lie, i'm horrible. I tried to get out of the house but ended up having a panic attack, bawling my eyes out. I'm not sure why exactly, maybe it was the idea of leaving my safe cocoon that is my home. I feel terrible because i feel i'm not trying enough but it's unsafe for me to go outside alone in my condition. I'm so frustrated and disappointed in myself. It feels like my illness is ruining my life.
How are you all feeling today?
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Diagnosis:Bipolar Disorder Type I
Medication: Lamictal 100mg, Cipralex 20 mg
Habe fortitudinem vivere.
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  #2  
Old Apr 19, 2015, 10:37 PM
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ThunderGoddess ThunderGoddess is offline
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I'm sorry to hear your feeling overwhelmed I am like that most days I usually only leave if someone is with me. At least you tried though that takes a lot of strength! Today I'm okay just not sure what to do with myself.
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I have BPD or Autism or both, we may never know, the focus is always the symptoms, not the diagnosis
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  #3  
Old Apr 19, 2015, 11:22 PM
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AleneElora AleneElora is offline
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Quote:
Originally Posted by ThunderGoddess View Post
I'm sorry to hear your feeling overwhelmed I am like that most days I usually only leave if someone is with me. At least you tried though that takes a lot of strength! Today I'm okay just not sure what to do with myself.
Thank you. I'm just a little disappointed in myself for not trying harder but i guess i should know my limits.
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Diagnosis:Bipolar Disorder Type I
Medication: Lamictal 100mg, Cipralex 20 mg
Habe fortitudinem vivere.
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  #4  
Old Apr 19, 2015, 11:31 PM
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shortandcute shortandcute is offline
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FAT! I FEEL LIKE A BIG FAT SLOB WHO EATS ALL THE TIME!
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  #5  
Old Apr 20, 2015, 12:23 AM
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AleneElora AleneElora is offline
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Quote:
Originally Posted by shortandcute View Post
FAT! I FEEL LIKE A BIG FAT SLOB WHO EATS ALL THE TIME!
Awh, i've got that feeling too today. I've been turning to comfort food a lot these past 10 days so believe me i feel you. I'm sure you're beautiful inside and out.
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Diagnosis:Bipolar Disorder Type I
Medication: Lamictal 100mg, Cipralex 20 mg
Habe fortitudinem vivere.
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Thanks for this!
shortandcute
  #6  
Old Apr 20, 2015, 09:57 AM
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gayleggg gayleggg is offline
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Quote:
Originally Posted by AleneElora View Post
Hello guys!
How are you feeling today? I'm not going to lie, i'm horrible. I tried to get out of the house but ended up having a panic attack, bawling my eyes out. I'm not sure why exactly, maybe it was the idea of leaving my safe cocoon that is my home. I feel terrible because i feel i'm not trying enough but it's unsafe for me to go outside alone in my condition. I'm so frustrated and disappointed in myself. It feels like my illness is ruining my life.
How are you all feeling today?
I'm sorry that you are having such a rough day.

My day is going pretty well. I'm not as anxious or as agitated as yesterday.
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"Each morning we are born again. What we do today is what matters most." -Buddha
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  #7  
Old Apr 20, 2015, 10:36 AM
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fishin fool fishin fool is offline
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filled with guilt
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  #8  
Old Apr 20, 2015, 10:39 AM
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AleneElora AleneElora is offline
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Quote:
Originally Posted by gayleggg View Post
I'm sorry that you are having such a rough day.

My day is going pretty well. I'm not as anxious or as agitated as yesterday.
Thank you.. I'm glad you're not as anxious, keep going!
__________________
Diagnosis:Bipolar Disorder Type I
Medication: Lamictal 100mg, Cipralex 20 mg
Habe fortitudinem vivere.
Hugs from:
shortandcute
Thanks for this!
shortandcute
  #9  
Old Apr 20, 2015, 10:39 AM
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AleneElora AleneElora is offline
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Quote:
Originally Posted by fishin fool View Post
filled with guilt
Awh, how so?
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Diagnosis:Bipolar Disorder Type I
Medication: Lamictal 100mg, Cipralex 20 mg
Habe fortitudinem vivere.
  #10  
Old Apr 20, 2015, 10:48 AM
ingill ingill is offline
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Totally wired and restless. I started the day off with a huge rush of adrenaline because on the way to work a woman stepped out in the road in front of me (not in a crosswalk) and I almost ran over her. That certainly would have spoiled everyone's day. BUT - normally that would put me in a really irritable mood all day and it didn't!
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  #11  
Old Apr 20, 2015, 11:12 AM
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AleneElora AleneElora is offline
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Quote:
Originally Posted by ingill View Post
Totally wired and restless. I started the day off with a huge rush of adrenaline because on the way to work a woman stepped out in the road in front of me (not in a crosswalk) and I almost ran over her. That certainly would have spoiled everyone's day. BUT - normally that would put me in a really irritable mood all day and it didn't!
That's surely very annoying but at least it didn't make you irritated for the rest of the day so good for you!
__________________
Diagnosis:Bipolar Disorder Type I
Medication: Lamictal 100mg, Cipralex 20 mg
Habe fortitudinem vivere.
  #12  
Old Apr 20, 2015, 11:32 AM
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justme58 justme58 is offline
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I'm new here. So, why not start by replying to your question.
Not too good. I had a really long crying spell this morning.
Feeling sooo alone, living on my own now. I don't know that I'll ever feel comfortable, living here by myself. It's depressing, lonely, & SCARY.
Just gotta take it one day at a time.

Quote:
Originally Posted by AleneElora View Post
Hello guys!
How are you feeling today? I'm not going to lie, i'm horrible. I tried to get out of the house but ended up having a panic attack, bawling my eyes out. I'm not sure why exactly, maybe it was the idea of leaving my safe cocoon that is my home. I feel terrible because i feel i'm not trying enough but it's unsafe for me to go outside alone in my condition. I'm so frustrated and disappointed in myself. It feels like my illness is ruining my life.
How are you all feeling today?
Hugs from:
shortandcute
  #13  
Old Apr 20, 2015, 11:54 AM
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Homeira Homeira is offline
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Member Since: Oct 2014
Location: Bergen
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Whenever I force myself to do something that makes me very anxious and stressed out, I try not to do it. Like going outside. I try to do it, but only in a very limited way. Like just be outside for 20-30 min and then run for cover inside Forcing myself too much triggers a lot of my symptoms. I just have to respect that. And I don`t feel the least bit guilty about it! To me it is just how I manage to keep my symptoms in check. Forcing myself too much just backfires really badly.
Like ending up crying for hours in my bed, and losing appetite, and bringing on a lot of negative thinking...
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Thanks for this!
shortandcute
  #14  
Old Apr 20, 2015, 12:57 PM
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AleneElora AleneElora is offline
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Quote:
Originally Posted by justme58 View Post
I'm new here. So, why not start by replying to your question.
Not too good. I had a really long crying spell this morning.
Feeling sooo alone, living on my own now. I don't know that I'll ever feel comfortable, living here by myself. It's depressing, lonely, & SCARY.
Just gotta take it one day at a time.
I'm sorry to hear you're feeling very sad. I'm new too but i find this forum very soothing because it makes me feel a lot less alone knowing there are people out there who feel like i do. People here will give you honest advice and support.
Welcome to the forum!
__________________
Diagnosis:Bipolar Disorder Type I
Medication: Lamictal 100mg, Cipralex 20 mg
Habe fortitudinem vivere.
Hugs from:
justme58
Thanks for this!
justme58
  #15  
Old Apr 20, 2015, 12:59 PM
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AleneElora AleneElora is offline
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Homeira View Post
Whenever I force myself to do something that makes me very anxious and stressed out, I try not to do it. Like going outside. I try to do it, but only in a very limited way. Like just be outside for 20-30 min and then run for cover inside Forcing myself too much triggers a lot of my symptoms. I just have to respect that. And I don`t feel the least bit guilty about it! To me it is just how I manage to keep my symptoms in check. Forcing myself too much just backfires really badly.
Like ending up crying for hours in my bed, and losing appetite, and bringing on a lot of negative thinking...
I got out of my house onto the balcony for 15 minutes. It wasn't much but baby steps. I guess i wanted to ignore my illness and push through it but figured out in a very bad way i have to accept that it'll limit me sometimes as any other MI. This is a slow process for me i guess i'll learn in time where my limits start and end.
__________________
Diagnosis:Bipolar Disorder Type I
Medication: Lamictal 100mg, Cipralex 20 mg
Habe fortitudinem vivere.
Hugs from:
Homeira, shortandcute
  #16  
Old Apr 20, 2015, 02:03 PM
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fishin fool fishin fool is offline
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Quote:
Originally Posted by AleneElora View Post
Awh, how so?
Its my life. I feel guilty for the things I didn't do or should have done
or could have done better. It never ends.
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  #17  
Old Apr 20, 2015, 02:13 PM
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Homeira Homeira is offline
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Member Since: Oct 2014
Location: Bergen
Posts: 755
Nothingto be guilty of, or ashamed of. You have an illness. That is not your fault. Be forgiving with yourself.
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  #18  
Old Apr 20, 2015, 02:17 PM
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AleneElora AleneElora is offline
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Quote:
Originally Posted by fishin fool View Post
Its my life. I feel guilty for the things I didn't do or should have done
or could have done better. It never ends.
If we sat down and thought about every mistake we'd made in life it would eat us up alive. Live in the now. Take each day as it comes.
__________________
Diagnosis:Bipolar Disorder Type I
Medication: Lamictal 100mg, Cipralex 20 mg
Habe fortitudinem vivere.
  #19  
Old Apr 20, 2015, 02:37 PM
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Apathy123 Apathy123 is offline
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I don't know quite how I feel today. All last week was a good week but Saturday night I started feeling funny and not quite good and same yesterday and this morning I did wake up early but I've been unmotivated and I'm getting nervous about my shrink appointment later in the week. Still unsure if I should cancel it, so unlike me.
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TMS Fall 2016
Effexor, Klonpin, Xanax, Seroquel, Welbutrin, Topimax, Naltraxone (off label), Lunesta, B12, Vit D3,
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#Metoo

Depression eats life
like the cookie monster eats
cookies from the jar.
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