[The Grey Wolf]

OK so when I was 10 I was sent to psychiatric hospital following suicidal ideation and they diagnosed me with bipolar disorder I have thought that was wrong because my mood doesn't change often I stay depressed and I'm sometimes angry but I'm never happy I haven't been happy in over 10 years maybe longer maybe I was never happy Idk its my first post in the bipolar section I think since I have never thought I have it I thought I was borderline I have 7 of 9 symptoms of bpd and I always thought that was the correct disorder along with some other issues but these last couple of days I have felt like I never have before in my life my mood seems all over the place not happy because that seems impossible but it is changing fast I can't seem to keep still I feel like inside there is pent up energy and emotions wanting to get out I seem more restless and that could be because of the month I'm having my cousin is in hospital following a suicide attempt and earlier in the month she was in hospital for panic attacks and seizures we have always been close and I have been worried about her I have a friend who I was getting close to and she unfriended me and won't return my messages which is weird because I don't think I said anything to upset her it always hurts when this happens because I have severe abandonment issues I have bad back I have had to have surgery on and I have tried to get disability for it I recently got a lawyer but I've been worried about not getting the benefits as well as how long it will take to get them also I think my depression is getting worse the things I used to do to fight it off aren't working anymore I also and this is the weirdest part of this post and I can't explain this I don't have HBO but we had free weekend of it and I watched game of thrones actually it was a marathon leading up to the premiere of the 5th season I saw like 7 episodes of season 4 and although I was lost since I didn't watch season 1 2 or 3 I have been obsessing over game of thrones and I don't know why that is its not happened ever before and I watch a lot of TV shows since I have nothing else to do its not even my favorite show but I can't get it out of my mind and I know its not on Netflix and the HBO free weekend is done I can't see any of it it is driving me crazy I'm not sure why maybe its because I can't watch it there doesn't seem to be a way unless I buy the DVDs but I don't have the money and I can't get HBO because I don't want to create more money for my mom to pay I think the fact I have no money plays into how I've been feeling I don't feel human I feel like a burden for my mom who works and takes care of all the bills ill be 25 next month and I haven't accomplished anything at all with my life I'm a huge failure I am nothing and I cant seem to stop biting my lips my back hurts constantly and I can't do things that normal people can do because I can't even stand up for 5 minutes It is pretty dehumanizing when you can't walk a short distance or stand up for a while I am just wondering with how I have been feeling and things is this mania? Am I manic?

[Crazy Hitch]

(((The Grey Wolf)))

Your thoughts race rapidly in this post.

Please b - r - e - a - t - h - e

Good song for you to listen to:

Calming Yourself

Get at least 10 hours of sleep per night.

Limit your activities and tasks.

Don’t spend any more than six hours being active each day. Spend the rest of the time relaxing.

Don’t try to exhaust yourself.

Avoid stimulating foods and beverages.

Avoid drugs and alcohol.

Engage in calming activities.

Create a list of go-to activities that help to slow you down.

Protecting Against Negative Behaviors

Limit your spending.

Avoid letting yourself feel high “a little longer.”

Ask trusted loved ones to tell you if your behavior is out of the norm.
A
void putting yourself in potentially triggering situations. These include new romances, unsafe sex and conflict.

[Extract published by By Margarita Tartakovsky, M.S. Associated Editor of PC]

[The Grey Wolf]

Well I don't drink or take drugs

I always oversleep

I don't sleep at night I sleep during the day I get very depressed at night I always wait to sunrise to sleep

I don't have unsafe sex

I don't have any money to spend I think that is one of the problems if I had the money I could just get HBO that would solve the game of thrones probably

I don't know what stimulating foods are

I can't stand water I drink lactose free milk and kool aid

I have no idea how to calm myself or relax never have been able to do that

I certainly won't be in new romance I've never had gf don't think that will change soon

Do you think I'm manic right now from what I've described?

[gayleggg]

I doubt that you are manic because you are not having the grandiose thinking, but you could be having a mixed episode, which can really be miserable as I just came out of that state. Characterized by restlessness, irritability, anxiety, insomnia, agitation, obsessive thoughts. You my be Bipolar II which is bipolar with primarily depression, which is what my diagnosis is. I have very few manic episodes I'm primarily depressed or in a mixed episode. Or you could be right and you may not be bipolar, borderline fits a lot of the same symptoms as you mentioned.

Hooligan gave some great advice, even though, some may not apply.

[Crazy Hitch]

Originally Posted by The Grey Wolf

Well I don't drink or take drugs

I always oversleep

I don't sleep at night I sleep during the day I get very depressed at night I always wait to sunrise to sleep

I don't have unsafe sex

I don't have any money to spend I think that is one of the problems if I had the money I could just get HBO that would solve the game of thrones probably

I don't know what stimulating foods are

I can't stand water I drink lactose free milk and kool aid

I have no idea how to calm myself or relax never have been able to do that

I certainly won't be in new romance I've never had gf don't think that will change soon

Do you think I'm manic right now from what I've described?

__________

I am 150% unable to diagnose you.

I merely put those out there because; truly I don't know.

It was never intended as a tick sheet in the manner in which you have used it.

The list, is a general list, used with care, and is only relevant to those who are experiencing an elevated mood.

It is not designed as a check this box.

Now.

What DOES concern me in your post is how rapid your thought process there.

I am absolutely unable to determine what is causing that as I am simply not qualified to do so.

I highly recommend you take these concerns to a medical practitioner. I merely say this out of genuine concern for you.

Truly - I believe some symptoms to me, personally, without a medical judment, most certainly do indicate to me that you have an elevated mood.

Now.

Whether of not this heightened mood state may be diagnosed by the treating medical practitioner of your choice as hypomania / mania / elevated mood / anxiety disrupting thought process - I truly don't know as I am simply not qualified to do so.

However.

In the interum.

Please practice self care.

And I do believe, based on how you have described your overall mind set there - that you honestly could benefit from using some of those strategies.

Take care of yourself please.

And please seek professional medical assistance on this issue.

[The Grey Wolf]

What do you mean how rapid my thinking is?

[Sunnyhunny00]

Your original post jumps rapidly from one topic to the next. That is what Hooligan was talking about. It was the first thing I noticed as well.

Also ADD?