[wanttomakeadiffrenc]

I was holding a very high paying computer engineer job in a multinational firm in USA.I was working in my team for 6 years. I was a honest, straightforward and a good performer throughout the 6 years. The team i was in was not a good team and i decided to quit it. I applied for an internal transfer to another team. That team manager was a friend of my manager and he informed my manager. Also one of my colleagues whom i trusted disclosed that i am leaving the team to my manager. The project was a fake project started by a director to save his job and they wanted to retain me till the project is completed. They kept dumping work after work on me and preventing me from my job hunt. I was under lot of pressure and my wife was also not cooperative(we used to have frequent quarrels).I had a psychotic episode and as part of layoff they laid me off without any compassion. There were so many underperformers and they retained them. I felt so much anger against them for letting me down.

I lost my job and after psychosis never the same. I got two other jobs and also lost the same.

My wife seeing my lose 3 jobs left me with all my hard earned money and properties which i had saved for the last 10 years. I have a son who has twin disabilities.(autism and a severe eosinophilis esophagistic disorder which requires a surgical procedure every year.). My wife and my inlaws blame me because of my illness my son has inherited this disease. He is 6 year old and also looks he will inherit my bipolar disorder also. Some symptoms like excessive anxiety i find very abnormal in this age.My wife has taken the kid with her. I have no saving left and my parents are supporting me. I don't want to go for divorce since i feel it will put further pressure on my wife and she will not be loving to the kid. She has a very short temper and very greedy. She is a home maker. I don't want my already unlucky son to further undergo suffering because of the divorce.

My wife does not even allow time to spend with the kid. She gives me 1 hour weekly and i have to spend that too in a public park.

I took zyprexa for bipolr developed cataract due to it and after surgery my vision is never the same. I feel i cannot be a computer engineer again with my limitied sight.

I also had a vocal cord surgery and doctor told i cannot speak loud again.

It looks i am disabled and have lost all hope of going to work. I am in a very poor country. I went back to my homecountry after i lost my vision. I cannot reenter USA.

I was an intelligent student in my school days and got admission in a very reputed college and always worked very hard. Always used to keep reading academically.

Throughout my marriage my wife was not supportive and she said i cheated her by not revealing that i had suffering from depressive episode before marriage.

I asked so many time for couples counselling. She never came. If she had come, i feel things would have been different and she is now blaming me for cheating and i owe everything i have earned to her including my properties.

I have lost
1) my high paying job
2) my vision due to bipolar medications/zyprexa
3) my wife
4) my son
5) my mental health
6) Son with multiple disabilities and lot of medical expenses for him.
7) My savings and house/properties.

My parents to whom i did not speak for 10 years are now taking care of me. I never understood their value and now i realize how important they are. Without them i would have been in the streets roaming around.

I was let down by my manager to whom i worked honestly for 6 years and also my wife whom i loved without judging her. I thought trusting people is good, but now everyone blames i must have been more careful in trusting people.

[Captinbipolar]

I'm really sorry to hear that man. Psychotic episodes are hard to come back from. I too lost my job, my apartment and my fiancée to this disorder. I know where your coming from. Your not alone in this struggle. Welcome to PC I too am a new member but I have found this community to be very supportive and welcoming. Most people here have lost something due to this disorder and this place has really helped me cope. I can see it helping you as well. Hang I there man things will get better, and keep posting on this sight it will help.

[Homeira]

I can relate to your story. I have gone through something similar. I know how hard it is. If I lost my son I don't know what I would have done. This illness has taught me to appreciate things that other people take for granted. I truly feel for you and what you are going through.

[Espurr1989]

I am sorry to hear your struggles. Welcome to PsychCentral. You will find many people here who you can relate and draw support from. I have learned so much about Bipolar from this forum alone.