Raging bipolar alcoholic

I'm so much a trauma based drinker, kinda like why I'm a multiple kind of person. If I don't want to drink, another does. It's so mixing really bad with my bipolar meds that I kinda like go really crazy.

I so wish I can quit, but when I do, another drinks.

If this doesn't quit, I just need to quit be taking meds, I guess.

I've totally freaked out another bipolar account that I'm no longer welcomed at after 3 years! Ouch

I need a years worth of intense psychiatric care, but I'd have to be like court committed. No way.

My family is falling apart as y'all know. I'm so much like ready to pack a backpack, carry a bat, and start walking. It wouldn't be the first time.

I'm so not happy and like not sober. I'm not suppose to be drinking, but I like show up drunk because everyone else likes to drink.

Meds and alcohol doesn't mix. I'm so like not happy.

I don't have any words of wisdom but I'm so sorry you are going through this. It must be terribly trying. Have you talked to your pdoc about this? Maybe some meds are better with alcohol than others? I have no idea but maybe since some people seem to be able to drink while on meds.

I hope you are feeling better.

Sorry AC2 - much hope and prayers your way!

moogs

So sorry you are going through this! Sounds absolutely horrible. I don't know, but have you tried therapy? I was not in your situation, but I had some bad issues I had to seriously get under control, and for me the solution was cognitive therapy. (and some adjustment of my meds.)
Are you in an environment that causes you to be tempted to drink?

I'm sorry you're dealing with this. I second the therapy suggestion and talking with your doctor, and also can you ask in the DID forum about help for alcoholism with alters? Maybe someone there can give advice on how to make it work.

im sorry AC it is a tough road when we yearn to drown ourselves in alcohol
start going to AA meetings and like others said a couselor that deals in substance abuse
wishing y;ou the best

Everytime I want to go to AA, we're like drinking before the meeting starts.

I need confinement. Usually the threat of imprisonment is my best deterrent, you know, like slapping a cop or something.

AC, you can get through it. I know you can. I, too, drank too much as an undiagnosed BP. I quit drinking in January when I received my diagnosis and it has given me much more clarity. Before, I wanted out too. I wanted to walk the Earth and get away from it all. Now I want to stay.

Toward the end of your post, you articulate a common problem. It sounds like you might be hanging around with other people that like to drink. It's tough man, I get it, I've been there. That was part of my problem - I ran with a big party crowd and I could set the pace for the entire team. But it wasn't working. Good Lord, it WASN'T working. The BP just made it worse by a factor of 10.

Quitting booze cost me all of my friends but that's OK. They don't know I'm BP. I just had to walk away. They're different people - perhaps not BP, perhaps they can "handle their booze" better than I could. But society spins all sorts of wonderful images on us saying that we *need* to be this or that in order to be part of the crowd.

I meet new people now and then but haven't made any solid connections just yet. It will take some time. I left behind people I've known for over 30 years. If I socialize with that crowd, I'd drink. No question. I passed out in my driveway last summer at 4AM. And I'm 50 YEARS OLD! Now I stay away. But it is best for ME and my family and that's all that matters. And now I'm proud that my wife is proud of me.

Live life for yourself. All you need to be is AC. No more, no less. Just you.

Peace, man.

I so thank you for your reply. It's not exactly "other people", it's more like alternate personalities that want to drink. Some of us want to quit, some of us don't. It's like so not fair.