Pressure from everywhere

Having an issue is problem enough. Then we have to deal with it. Then we have to pick and choose who we tell, if anyone. Then we need to just get through some days with our dignity.

Last night, I attended a retirement party. As part of my wider plan to handle myself, I quit drinking a few months ago. I didn't ask any questions of myself. Booze just *wasn't* working for me. I'd wake up hung over, depressed, and I'd take it out on my family and promise to quit. Then a few weeks later, I was stonkered again on some random Saturday night and the cycle started from Square 1.

So last night, I go to the party and immediately get hit up to be a drinking buddy. I was sort of amazed at how many people wanted to get me drunk......as part of my BP, I'm sort of paranoid and I almost felt like it was a trap. We'll get this fool drunk and he'll make an idiot of himself.

So I tell people "no" and I just wanted to cool it but people wouldn't take no for an answer or asked me to explain why. Huh? "Come on man, just one drink". "We've never drank before, have a beer with me". "You need to loosen up, have a quick shot". "Oooooh no drinking tonight? How come?" Holy f*** get off my back already.

I was a big drinker on spot occasions but I never remember being like that with other people. Last night was one of my first early social challenges in my BP stage - I've avoided these things for the past few months but couldn't pass on the party last night.

I ducked downstairs, took my Depakote, came back up, blended back in, ate my dinner, and quietly left. I left on a good note though - a colleague of mine who's really funny was leaving at the same time and he passed me in the parking lot in his truck. He rolls his window down and says to me "that party SUCKED"! I cracked up.

"Having an issue is problem enough. Then we have to deal with it. Then we have to pick and choose who we tell, if anyone. Then we need to just get through some days with our dignity."

Yes!

That is awesome that you have been able to steer clear of the booze and that you held strong last night. Go you

Well done for holding your ground under pressure!

I don't think I could have done that, that's really impressive. I hope you feel proud of yourself.

Congrats on beating your social challenge! Social pressure to drink is something I have been dealing with for a long time, it is very hard. Just stay firm like you did and keep it up. I like the part about the guy in the truck when you left, I guess you weren't the only person that thought the party stunk, sometimes we think we are alone and then discover that someone (without BP) actually feels like we do. And don't forget the good part, no hangover.Good job!

Good job on how you handled that situation. And congrats on quitting drinking. I quit drinking a month ago and I'm feeling better. I think you handled the people pressuring you at the party very well. I haven't had to face that type of situation yet, but I think I will say I can't drink because of a medication I'm on or that I'm driving and don't drink and drive.

It feels good to wake up with no hangover, doesn't it?!

Take care.

You should have crushed the Depakote into a fine powder, cut it on a vanity mirror, and invited those who pushed drink on you to snort a line. I hear it's great for the pancreas.

Thanks. I actually do feel proud - having a great, sunny day where I am.....have accomplished a lot and spent a good day with the kids.

To be honest, I quickly developed a "bleep you" stance with those bothering me and that helped but even as I was LEAVING, one of them stopped me and said "come on man, ONE quick drink". I am finding that being "a-hole selfish" with people helps me in many ways. In the past, I've always felt like I was pulled in all sorts of different directions and never did anything for ME. That makes me super-edgy and is a big trigger for me. My new attitude turns some people off and I need to learn how to deliver the message better, but many of my co-workers think I'm arrogant anyway so I didn't lose much ground there.

In the past, I would have dove in headfirst. But that was pre-BP....now I sort of know booze makes it worse. I'm no saint and I'm no angel but I know I can't drink anymore. Especially considering I came off a five day downer starting on Sunday last. If I remember correctly, I always used to drink during hypomanic phases because I "owed" it to myself. I was up yesterday and am up today so last night was the danger zone.

He's a great guy......every year, he paints someone's house in his neighborhood for free.

That's really impressive! It sounds like you are making great choices.

HAHA! That would have been hilarious......I forgot to bring my mortar and pestle. But there's nothing like turning the tables on people. It could have been one of those John Belushi moments we'd want to film to see the "what the bleep" look on their face later on.

"Give me a bottle of your finest champagne, five shrimp cocktails, and a loaf of bread for my brother".

Yes it does.....and as an added bonus, I could get up and start my day at 7 instead of noon.

I'm still working through what I will tell people. For me, the DUI defense doesn't work because most of the people I know drink and drive. They don't think it's a big deal to have six or seven drinks and then drive 10 miles home.

As for medication, people will ask me "what's it for" so I'm not sure about that either.

I think I might just say I'm on a new road at this point in my life and it doesn't include alcohol. I never really thought about it all that much, but I find it interesting how people take it for granted. A lot of people I know just automatically drink when they go out. I'm not being critical of it, I just find it curious. I suppose a lot of this used to be me.

Great job