I need help understanding.

I was diagnosed as being Bipolar 2 less than 6 months ago. My moods change so rapidly it's scary and I don't even realize I'm doing anything "bad" until 4 or 5 hours after when I'm like "wow...that was stupid"

Possible trigger:

(like when I cut myself)

and other times I don't even remember doing or saying certain things. I can go from screaming at someone, to bawling, and then feeling okay within an hour or two. Does this have anything to do with being bipolar or is it something else?? This can sometimes be triggered by something or it can just happen. Its usually triggered by something more often though, but I don't realize it until after I've calmed down and really can not control what happens afterwards. So many people think I can control it but just don't want to. And it hurts hearing that. Like "why would I do this stuff if I could control it" I just need help

It could be depression, a mixed episode, or boardline personality disorder.

Welcome, live_freely
What you describe does sound like borderline, but obviously we can't diagnose. Also, sometimes we don't recognize a trigger even if it's present. The less obvious ones can take some work to figure out.

That sounds a little borderline personality disorder to me.

(But I'm not a doctor.)

I was thinking BPD too, but like everyone else here I'm not a doctor and can't diagnose anyone. Please talk to your mental health care provider for further evaluation and treatment.

As others said , Could be Borderline also, but again no doctor here.

Since your newly diagnosed Bp you probably need more time to find the correct medications that are going allow you to level off and find your baseline.

Do you have a Therapist? If not you should see someone, they will help you learn coping skills that will help you manage you life is a more healthy balanced way. I have a history of self harm. I have gone 2 years with out self harming, that is the longest I have ever gone.

Welcome to PC

I was looking around and found BPD and thought the symptoms sounded more like me then Bipolar symptoms.

I do have a therapist. I go once a week but I just started seeing her (I've been moved around from counselor to counselor) so I have to start fresh...again. I never really get very far with any one counselor.

Hopefully it is borderline. I've read in time you can sort of "grow out of it." And therapy tends to help as much as meds, so you wouldn't have to deal with crappy side effects.

Some studies indicate bipolar gets worse over time and well, it just sucks. The meds are horrible. It's just a crappy thing to have.

If it is BPD I think it might be pretty severe, and if I am Bipolar I think I might still be a severe case...either way whatever I have sucks and I just want to be normal, you know. I'm tired of feeling hurt and depressed all the time.

It's pretty common to have both BP and BPD.

Is it more difficult then being just Bipolar or just BPD...because I think it would explain a lot.

I don't necessarily know enough about your background (don't worry I'm not going to ask so really based on the post and the information provided I can't say if I personally believe/know you'd reach the minimum of 5 out of the 9 criteria to get a dx of BPD by a medical professional .... I can see about 3 .... not that there's not more I'm just saying it's not provided ..... (that's all)

Your moods definitely fluctuate somewhat but it's your emotional responses to given situations that yes I'd agree with what other members have posted before me about BPD.

Just thought I'd put it out there because honestly, I don't know.

If the symptoms are bothering you, it's worthwhile speaking to your (GP/pdoc) about this for a possible assessment.

Sure its difficult. There are many members here that are successfully living a enjoyable productive life while dealing with BP and BPD.

I've looked at the criteria and I think most of it fits me...I can't really remember what the criteria is right now but I remember thinking that sounds almost exactly like me. I just want to get this all figured out. I need advice for coping and stuff.

It's totally possible to have both BP and BPD. I can only imagine how much that would suck. My friend has pretty severe BPD. I've seen how it can mess people up. If you fear it BPD, please talk to your doctor about it. My borderline friend utterly refused to pursue treatment for it for the longest time (even though I offered to drive her) and it only got worse. Two 51/50s in three years. (On a "lighter" note - I have a twisted sense of humor, sorry - imagine how much "fun" our other friends had having to deal with a coke-head borderline an a drunk manic-depressive! Ah, the "good ol' days." - which were obviously not so good.)

Hope whatever it is runs its course sooner rather than later!

My mom says I've been like this for as long as she can remember. She says that sometimes she thinks I'm faking everything and I'm just a mean person. Then she goes on to say I'm not trying...like what can I do except take my pills and do the exercises my doctor tells me to do. I don't get why she has to be like this. Before we knew what was really happening we had an okay relationship, but now it's totally ruined. I thought she'd be more understanding because she has a very mild mental illness (it runs in my family on her side..almost everyone has some sort of mental illness) but the only one that seems to understand is my cousin, and I can't even see her very often. We live in two totally different states. Sorry the message is so long I'm just venting I guess. I can't talk to anyone very often.

I sometimes say if the shoe fits ..... well you know how the rest of the saying goes

If you're identifying with the symptoms, if I were in your shoes today, I'd see if I can get an assessment in order to get a dx (or possibly not).

As far as advice for coping and stuff is concerned, that will come, pending on your diagnosis.

A therapist would be a good starting point, because different environmental circumstances would trigger different emotional responses within you, making it not always too clear cut, because circumstances in life can sometimes change as often as daily.

And then of course there's the BPD forum here on PsychCentral where you can post as often as you like to get tips from BPD members.

Regardless, whatever transpires out of this, please let us know what the outcome is and how you are travelling.

Live_freely318: "I'm tired of feeling hurt and depressed all the time."
(From post #10. Sorry not in proper quoting format. Missed it in gathering them, and am on phone, so would be a big re-do.)

(Re: borderline criteria)
I agree about going in and delving more into your symptoms. It might prove a very helpful thing. I think you're right in your initial post in questioning things.
I just read back over the whole thread again. Honestly? I don't see anything that indicates bipolar. Everything you describe points to borderline. I'd recommend asking your provider why they think bipolar. But even before that, I have to ask... Who diagnosed you? The only term I saw was "doctor". Was it a psychiatrist? Or a GP?

Above, I've pulled together quotes from your posts to show things that reinforce my thinking BPD. (In addition to initial post.)
I'd have done the same for BP, but (see above --couldn't find any).

Same disclaimer, I can't diagnose. But these are things you might want to bring up with your provider (you might even want to print out the thread for refererence). All the stuff's in the personal interaction/reactive/emotion realm and has been so since as long as your mother can remember, which shows an on-going pervasive pattern-- which is a key indicator in BPD.

Key indicators for BP would be episodic nature of symptoms and prolonged shifts in energy levels. For me, those are couple of the really big differences between the two. People can get so focused on the "mood" thing. But there's so much more to it.

Good luck and I hope you get some relief in getting it sorted out. It can be a helpful to know what you're fighting so as to be able to arm yourself with the best and most effective strategies for it.

(p.s. On the last quote, just want to say that I don't think you're mean or faking it or that would be any kind of symptom, but the part about the frustration in the meds not seeming to help. That factor is far trickier because... For the most part, for people with BP, meds will help -- though it may take awhile to get a good one/combo. With BPD, meds seldom help -- though for some, they seem to -- so, yeah, tricky to call that indicator. But it's pretty fair to say (with reservations) that it doesn't "put any points" towards thinking BP, solely on account of the statistics leaning against that likelihood in regards to response to medication. It's just something of lesser weight in evaluating the symptoms as a whole. Hope that makes sense.)

It sounds like your moods are a bit 'too much' towards the unstable side maybe, if they are really causing problems. Maybe a trip to the doc/pdoc to adjust your meds?

I was diagnosed by a psychiatrist...and I don't know how typical diagnostics go because this was my very first time meeting a psychiatrist...but the psychiatrist diagnosed me as being Bipolar 2 after a session that lasted about an hour and a half (it was her last day working at the clinic I go to and I had been trying to get in with her for months). I don't know if that is typical but I sort of think that might not be how it's supposed to go. Now I have a new psychiatrist and he'll ask how I'm doing, up my meds, and send me on my way. Those visits only last about 15-20 minutes at the most. I sometimes think I may have been misdiagnosed but at the same time there's that voice in the back of my head saying "the doctors know what they're doing, just listen and go with it." If anyone can tell me how long it took for them to be diagnosed that would be great.

We need to be sure to listen to the voice in our heads too.
Doctors are not infallible, especially in psych matters (seeing how you can't just x-ray for concrete diagnostics like other kinds of doctors can), and especially if they're trying to diagnose from a snapshot (so to speak) of not having a lot of history to go on, or seeing you over a span of time. Since BP happens in cycles (and therefore over time), short of being acutely manic, it's enormously helpful for them to have one or both of those to work from.

How thoroughly they look, what and how they ask are important for accuracy too. I was first mis-dx'd MDD on that account. Me: severely depressed for months. GP (my first mistake...) "screened" for BP with three words(!) I was such a mess (and didn't know BP) that it all went right over me. BIG clue within 2 days. That went right over her. And I thought it was GREAT (at first), so didn't know to question it. It was a lot of mess till I finally listened to my little voice saying something was very wrong. Bigger mess than ever. Went to P doc, who knew what to ask of the 25 years of evidence I had accrued, and how to rule other dxs out. I've never had a little voice on that. Fits like a glove. Finally knew what I was battling all those years. Got on meds. Man, what a difference.

So yeah, there's nothing wrong with seeking a second opinion especially if something seems off to you. We can be our own best advocates. After all, we're the ones living it. If something seems off, we should listen to that little voice the same way as we would with a physical symptom. Right? It is good to respect doctors' knowledge, not blindly, but tempered with the reality that they are simply humans too, you know?

Good news is I don't have full-on BPD. Badish news is that I have BPD tendencies. I talked to my counselor yesterday and she explained more about BPD and said if anything I have tendencies, not the full disorder. Which is great news