[loophole]

I've had some sever issues handling workplace stuff.... I've posted out of 3 different departments for the same reason. Now in my fourth one.... I start getting in a down state and then I Become very paranoid over anyone's comments or reactions... I'm very quiet in general (I'm sure I'm the perfect candidate for sad..) and I'm an all or nothing individual.. I hate confrontation until it's too late.. Then I'm a volcano and can make everyone's head in the building turn.. (Already happened once at work about 3 years ago to my boss no less) but 99% of the time I'm quite the opposite. Quiet... I left departments In the past because of paranoia about people making fun of me and other stuff.. Now I'm in another department and I've started to feel the same way.... Then today someone called me "forest" then kinda reacted like oops... I never responded.. Now I'm even more paranoid and depressed thinking go to another department.. But at this point I think it's safe to say it's going to be like this anywhere and maybe I should learn to deal with it..

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[Nammu]

You have a therapist who can help with this?

[loophole]

Wasn't good at keeping appointments in the past..

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[loophole]

Please delete thread

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[wiretwister]

Originally Posted by loophole

I think it's safe to say it's going to be like this anywhere and maybe I should learn to deal with it..

A very mature statement , in reality we can never change anyone but ourself , and it is a life long struggle , all we can ever hope to do is find our way (our inner peace) one day at a time ... I hope you find peace in your struggles ....

[Row Jimmy]

Loophole, I go through the same things now and then. There's one person in my office that thinks he's good at busting everyone's stones. Today, he tried his magic on me just to drive me away but I stuck around to let him know it was ME that was in charge. He played at TOP volume this recording of a Japanese guy screaming in Japanese. I innocently asked "what on earth are you listening to?" Then he changed gears and played some vulgar gangsta rap and I sarcastically said "oh that's quite an improvement".

I get paranoid too - thinking it is directed at me (perhaps it is). But I try not to let it bother me anymore and just retreat into my own world. He figured he wasn't getting to me so he just quit.

[Crazy Hitch]

I'm glad you're posting here about your work issues loophole; it helps to get a 2nd opinion or just a shoulder to lean on from those of us who have gone through issues in the workplace.

I'm sorry to hear that people's comments / reactions caused you to become paranoid. I don't enjoy confrontation either (although, admittedly, I am my own worst enemy - I don't have people's skills ... to say the least, so I dig my own grave frequently).

Sometimes we do just explode when we've reached out breaking point - what you've described as "volcano". Doesn't make any difference that you exploded like a volcano at your boss, doesn't make the situation very comfortable though, I can imagine that that felt quite akward aferwards so I'm sorry you were put in that position.

Sounds to me like there are unwarranted snide remarks being made - like the example you gave of forest, that's not called for - you don't deserve that. Whatever the intent, nobody deserves to be called names / made fun of etc.

A few things off the top of my head

- snide remarks - if it were me, personally, I wouldn't tolerate that ... I'd say something a bit light heartedly ... like ... "So you said I'm forest, that's original"...

- find a way to communicate your needs before everything blows up into a big confrontation

- do you have weekly / monthly meetings where you get to express your needs / what it is that you want / what it is that you think needs changing

- what is your communication like with your boss? Are you able to express your needs there too? Before it all blows up and is too late? Is your boss open to negotiation? Does your boss listen to your input? Can you put out the spark before the fire starts?