[sorand0m]

Tricky place to find myself. So in the last few weeks my mood has improved considerably. New prospects, I'm writing again, made a little money. All good things.

Bad things. I've been struggling with my sleep recently. Admittedly, I'm trying to lie to myself by telling myself that the hundreds of ideas I've had are OK and everyone thinks like that. Truth be told, I'm about this close to going out and getting smashed out of my face on booze or just something to slow these amazing ideas down. It bothers me more that I know I would need little convincing to go ahead with this.

Speech is fine. Sat here just pissed off about something, whatever that is.

I've asked others to keep an eye out on me which does sound like the smartest thing I've done all week. Probably nothing but better to be sure.

[sorand0m]

Not all week since we're on Monday. In the last week.

****.

[Crazy Hitch]

Sounds like you still have some residual symptoms from your last episode.

It's good that you've asked others to look out for you.

They might notice symptoms that you are not cogniscent of and point them out to you - always helps to get a second opinion from others.

You're right - better to be sure.

[wiretwister]

Originally Posted by sorand0m

Bad things. I've been struggling with my sleep recently.

Speech is fine. Sat here just pissed off about something, whatever that is.

poor sleep and two days pi**ed over something (stress) , I feel your pain,, been there and got the shirt .... just remember with bp things always change ,,, just hang on, keep your friends close and keep talking,, don't let the bad stuff build up inside...

[sorand0m]

Originally Posted by Hooligan

They might notice symptoms that you are not cogniscent of and point them out to you - always helps to get a second opinion from others.

You're right - better to be sure.

I know they would and have done in the past so they usually know somethings up when I ask them to keep me in check. Makes me feel like a child again which I hate, the alternative is much worse.

I have regular appointments with my psychiatrist as much as I dislike them. I'm due a follow-up appointment at the end of the month and I'm already looking for reasons not to bother.

Shame that I don't act with as much clarity as I type with. I put that down to writing.

[Crazy Hitch]

Nah, banish the thought of you feeling like a child again. Although I do get the analogy. Remember that mental health wise you were unwell for a brief period of time. And your friends are there to support you. They'll likely notice things you might not.

[sorand0m]

Coming up to 3am here and still wide awake as I have been for the last few nights. Getting to sleep is stupidly hard right now. Ugh.

I've been unwell for a very long time - something I do wish was brief at worst.

[Crazy Hitch]

Hope you got a bit of sleep in there

Originally Posted by sorand0m

I'm due a follow-up appointment at the end of the month and I'm already looking for reasons not to bother.

Getting to that appointment would be a good idea. You're not in a comfortable place getting such little sleep, and you could be on your way into another full-blown episode. Can you reschedule the appointment to see your doctor earlier?

[sorand0m]

Originally Posted by Lefty the Salesman

Getting to that appointment would be a good idea. You're not in a comfortable place getting such little sleep, and you could be on your way into another full-blown episode. Can you reschedule the appointment to see your doctor earlier?

I could do but I'm not going to. I like my doctor and she's always fitted me in when I've needed to be seen. Last night I was on these forums/ general internet browsing until about 4am and then found myself wide awake until about 6am, when I got 2 hours 45 minutes sleep. That was with a sleeping tablet.

I still toy around with the idea of just saying '**** this' to all these tests, meds, appointments and check-ins. This wouldn't be seen as a good thing when I didn't start turning up though. I know who and what I am though and I've been scraping through life up to this point so honestly, why not.

Tough day ahead. I'm going shopping for sensible things, enjoying some sun time and drinking in that order.

[raspberrytorte]

I'm happy you're starting to feel better!

[Crazy Hitch]

Glad you're feeling a bit better raspberry

[sorand0m]

Seems like the decision was made for me about my appointment. In my confusion I've mixed up dates and got a call from the health team telling me I missed my psychiatrist appointment which was at 12.45 today. Thought it was on the 26th.

Didn't answer the call when they called me since I was doing the shopping at the time.

1am, still awake. Most likely will be for a while.

[raspberrytorte]

hooligan - I'm not feeling all that much better, but thanks!