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#1
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Random question related to you or just in general ...
It's the uncanny ability that I have to undertake high risk decisions every time I'm manic ... I mean you'd think I'd learn from the last manic episode ... but nooooo ... every time it's something new and I just think that my decisions are perfectly logical, each episode. ![]() If I was manic right now, I would say there's absolutely nothing wrong with what Rimi Gillard is doing right here (it would all make perfect sense to me) ![]() ![]() |
![]() avlady
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![]() LettinG0
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#2
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I have never been a huge risk taker but I can definitely understand how illogical thinking seems logical. There are times I look back on my manic thought processes and think wow….that made so much sense..but how??
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![]() avlady
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![]() Crazy Hitch, LettinG0
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#3
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yeah im def agreeing with you guys about the lack of insight during mania. It s like you had an episode before and you have no knowledge about it.
__________________
I used to rule the world Seas would rise when I gave the word Now in the morning, I sleep alone Sweep the streets I used to own I used to roll the dice Feel the fear in my enemy's eyes Listen as the crowd would sing Now the old king is dead! Long live the king! One minute I held the key Next the walls were closed on me And I discovered that my castles stand Upon pillars of salt and pillars of sand |
![]() avlady
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![]() Crazy Hitch
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#4
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yeah that's happened to me a few times. things that no sense made sense to me.
__________________
Bipolar affective disorder 2 Possible cptsd not yet dx Seroquel 300mg Lithium 600mg Propranolol 30mg |
![]() avlady
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![]() Crazy Hitch
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#5
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Certain "stereotypes" (okay yes we could start a whole new thread on this one) never cease to amaze me ...
If I tell people about some of the challenges I've faced in my life and jumped over the hurdles to get to where I am today, they think noooooooo she must be manic with an overinflated ego ..... Classic example - My first teaching job (this is back in 2000) - I was working at an economically disadvantaged school; just for that year; it was my first year out of University - I earned as much as a factory floor sweeper - for real - but I loved every minute of it because I'm passionate about what I do. People think I'm crazy if I tell them how much I enjoyed that year. All in my head. Mania makes me say I loved it. I couldn't possibly have loved it if I earned peanuts. That annoys me. I mean I've done pretty crazy things when I'm manic. But lie about my past? Never. Typical response - it's "just mania making her say that": ![]() |
![]() avlady
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#6
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The biggest thing that amazes me about bi polar is I will be trucking along happy as can be, and a flashback to holding my daughters for the last time, over a month ago before becoming homeless thanks to an eviction, and divorce at the same time. Then I cry so uncontrollably for hours.
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![]() avlady
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![]() Crazy Hitch
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#7
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Gotta agree with all of you. Its the things I have done when manic
that drives me crazy every day. I look back and say what the hell was I thinking. Things that are so out of character for me I wonder how it was even possible that I thought it was a good idea.
__________________
I traded it in for a whole 'nother world A pirate flag and an island girl |
![]() avlady
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![]() Crazy Hitch
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#8
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Mania like all my pals. Spending money and randomness are two big ones right now.
__________________
schizoaffective bipolar type PTSD generalized anxiety d/o haldol, prazosin, risperdal and prn klonopin and helpful cogentin |
![]() avlady
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![]() Crazy Hitch
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#9
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Preparing for the aftermath on an episode ... still trying .... no matter how many of them you've had - either up or down ... all sucks
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![]() avlady
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#10
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The bp friends I have here and how well they take care of me ... Ty ..
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![]() avlady
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![]() Crazy Hitch
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#11
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You're awesome tigs
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#12
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Yes I am ...
![]() I am so glad I feel better today ... |
![]() Crazy Hitch
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#13
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It never ceases to amaze me how much personal support I get from everyone on the BP forum either.
Here's a Mindul quote I came across this past weekend. I've shared it somewhere else, but I'll share it here too since it's apt for me on the BP forum - you all rock ![]() ![]() |
#14
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That I have been making good choices lately. It is hard but it is possible. I think therapy is helpful.
It amazes me that it is so hard sometimes. |
![]() Crazy Hitch
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#15
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Why do I act like a jerk when I'm really not a jerk?
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![]() Crazy Hitch
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#16
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How is it possible to believe that you are invincible and you are idolized and will never again be depressed one month? Then, how is it possible that the next month you believe you are hated and you are hopeless and will never again leave this deep anguish? It defys logic!
__________________
***** Every finger in the room is pointing at me I want to spit in their faces then I get afraid of what that could bring I got a bowling ball in my stomach I got a desert in my mouth Figures that my courage would choose to sell out now Tori Amos ~ Crucify Dx: Schizoaffective Disorder |
![]() Anonymous200280, raspberrytorte
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![]() Crazy Hitch, jacky8807
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#17
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Heck besides going out and borrowing a LARGE sum of money and blowing it, I also thought God wanted me to start storing water for a shortage we're going to have....the storage method was to be in milk jugs!
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![]() Crazy Hitch
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#18
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It never ceases to amaze me how, when I'm doing pretty well, I think I've pretty well gotten it together now, and will never do _____ (fill in the blank) again(!)
I seriously think that sometimes. And before I know it, BOOM! Right back to square one. Intellectually I remember states different to the one I'm currently in, but at the same time can't imagine being there. Like it's not real or behind a mist where I can't really access it. (That's probably generally a good thing!) |
![]() bbTofu
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![]() bbTofu, Crazy Hitch
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#19
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It never ceases to amaze me how often I can trip over my own two feet either when I'm depressed or when I'm stable.
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#20
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Never ceases to amaze me how this illness constantly sets us up to fail.
I work and save, work and save......then whoosh....it's all gone. All spent in a manic haze. And the women. I give myself way too easily.....I hate myself for that, but still I do it. |
![]() Anonymous37971, raspberrytorte
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![]() Crazy Hitch
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#21
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It never ceases to amaze me that I might be hypo in 3 months time again
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#22
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How much this disease has damaged my identity and dignity, and how much I enjoy posting images of North Koreans waving red flags. I guess that's two things.
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![]() Crazy Hitch
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#23
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How LOGICAL illogical thoughts, behavior, and decisions are EVERY SINGLE TIME .....
__________________
![]() LettinG0 BP II |
![]() Crazy Hitch
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#24
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Yeah I agree with all of you. It's amazing how dangerous things can get so fast with hypo/mania. The momentum builds and builds and there is nothing we can do to stop the regrettable decision making
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![]() Crazy Hitch
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#25
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Quote:
YES!!! this really nails it for me.
__________________
I used to rule the world Seas would rise when I gave the word Now in the morning, I sleep alone Sweep the streets I used to own I used to roll the dice Feel the fear in my enemy's eyes Listen as the crowd would sing Now the old king is dead! Long live the king! One minute I held the key Next the walls were closed on me And I discovered that my castles stand Upon pillars of salt and pillars of sand |
![]() cashart10, Crazy Hitch
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