[scatterbrained04]

Do you ever feel worse on the days you see your pdoc? I've been totally stable, but I'm sitting here waiting to go in to my appointment feeling totally down. I didn't sleep well last night, so maybe that's part of it?

[gayleggg]

I have had days when I felt like that. It's kind of like the appointment is like a reminder that I'm sick and I had rather not think about that.

[raspberrytorte]

I get more anxious than down feeling, but yeah.

[Capriciousness]

I find that I often feel worse after an appointment with a Pdoc or therapist. Again maybe it is the reminder that I have to deal with this and it is so not awesome.

[Victoria'smom]

I magically get better the day before I have therapy or the pdoc.

[cashart10]

I cried in my pdoc's office today and told him "I'm not trying to make you feel guilty but I don't want to leave. He asked if I wanted to stay longer and I said no of course understanding he has other patients. But, his prescence and his office are one of the only places I feel comfortable right now. I still am crying when I think of leaving there. Of course, everything is making me cry right now.

[Secretum]

Like MM, things tend to get better for me the day I see my pdoc. The day after I see him, things get bad again. So...it is difficult to get the help that I need, haha.

I also experience bad anxiety before I see him. I hate it when he is behind schedule and I just have to sit in the waiting room listening to my own rapid heart beat.

[wiretwister]

bad anxeity night before followed by racing thoughts of what I am going to tell him, ask him, etc.....

[electricbipolargirl]

I thought I was the only one who gets a major dose of anxiety on the day of my pdoc appointment! I hate that you all have to deal with it, but it's nice to know I'm not alone!

[BlackSheep79]

I get nervous about what is my pdoc going to do with my meds. Then he prescribes them and I'm excited that it's going to work, but also scared that it's not because I always have to deal with these side effects and it also never works, except dang Seroquil. Totally get it.

[CopperStar]

I've gone unmedicated outside of self-medicating for so many years that I've developed some rather strong disassociation mechanisms, from so many countless times of trying so hard to keep my issues hidden. I mostly get dysphoric mania and it tends to come with a lot of agitation, hostility, aggression, paranoia. Yet it's not who I actually am deep down, so I've never truly wanted to hurt or attack people. So I've spent years trying to fight it on my own. By now the end result is that when my stress level suddenly spikes, I start to disassociate. So whenever I go to see a professional, my stress level spikes, and by the time I'm sitting in front of them trying to talk, I'm like a mechanical robot with slow, broken speech. I probably seem like I'm high as hell. This can make it really difficult to try to explain that I've been having mixed state symptoms for weeks, when I'm sitting there probably looking and sounding like I'm just really stoned.

[scatterbrained04]

I like my pdoc, but I dislike talking about things. Mostly I just go on autopilot with the same tired responses each visit. I will generally speak up a little if things have been REALLY bad, but I always down play. Maybe it's like others have said, that it's a reminder that I'm bipolar, and I hate that.

[Crazy Hitch]

Sometimes, if I feel it might be somewhat of an "intense" appointment, due to things that I know we will need to discuss ...