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Old Jun 26, 2015, 07:33 AM
Nowheretoturn1989 Nowheretoturn1989 is offline
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Would a manic episode consist of getting super mad at something like this for example: bodybuilding and not seeing the results I want to see within a years time, I literally flipped out for about 5-10 mins and felt like it was pointless to keep continuing. But I never quit so I overcame that. I do seem to be struggling with sleep at night. Btw I have been diagnosed with OCD since 11 years old.

Waking up every 2-3 hours to piss and then having trouble getting comfortable. I believe I have some sort of hypo mania. I'm not depressed I don't think, I tend to have a super surge of wellness when something good happens but isn't that anyone?

Reading symptoms online can sometimes be debilitating, anyways I have posted this before my lost my username and password and can't seem to to find the related post so im sorry for this guys.

Anyways I can't eat Unless I force it and being a bodybuilder.. I have to eat a lot. So I smoke weed, but the problem with that is, I get lazy. I've also had some sexual impulsive fantasies, but seem to be more interested in masturbating about them than actually doing them, because a lot of these fantasies are something I cant believe me myself would even think about them. Do you know what im saying? Deep down it doesn't feel right to think about them but for some reason I do it to get me off quick so I don't have to. Which I DONT have to, I have the choice to choose not to masturbate or ignore racing thoughts and sexual impulsions, I believe it might be a way of dealing with the anxiety.

Seems to be hard to gain weight, although I don't try at anything, bodybuilding is my dream but I don't try super hard at it like I should, I feel lazy and unmotivated a lot, so pushing myself to the gym offers no excitement, just "oh man I gotta get this out of the way". There will be days though where for some reason I'll KILL IT, love the gym and smash the weights and have a great workout. These are seldom.

I'm always worried about the future or stuff I shouldn't consume myself worrying about.

For example: a dream of mine is to become famous, but I worry if I were to become famous all my EXS would release all my pics they have of me that we have texted back and forth <---- I know myself by thinking and even reading it how stupid and ludicrous that sounds! I'm not even famous nor even close and im always worried about the what ifs.

I just feel like something is wrong with me I know it. I don't feel depressed but I'm not "happy" and I have a problem thinking for myself (i.e tend to ask other people what I should do about certain things in life). I'm indecisive all the time and sometimes have a hard time focusing when people talk to me but still focused and understand hear everything they say.

Does this make sense to you guys or am I truly insane lol. I just need someone to talk to. I've tried meditating but I can't clear my mind.

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  #2  
Old Jun 26, 2015, 07:45 AM
Nowheretoturn1989 Nowheretoturn1989 is offline
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I've been to a few therapists and none of them have claimed bipolar disorder. They seem to think I'm Depressed and try to get me to go see a psychiatrist which makes me agitated because it's like they don't care. They are just spewing labeled insanities at me, barely listening to my story.

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  #3  
Old Jun 26, 2015, 08:28 AM
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cmorales cmorales is offline
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Could be a form of agitated depression. Most of my depressions are agitated. And anxiety comes along for the ride with agitated depression quite often. I agree with your therapist: go see a psychiatrist. Medication might help and, really, as much as I love therapists, a psychiatrist should be able to give you a more detailed explanation, or, at the very least, treat your symptom with the proper medications, even if you are not diagnosed with anything specific outright.
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  #4  
Old Jun 26, 2015, 09:31 AM
Nowheretoturn1989 Nowheretoturn1989 is offline
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I researched mixed Episodes and this does describe me pretty well. I seem to try to get myself to be motivated to do things and it will only last for so long then I become tired and lazy. I'm so ocd about the way I look I can't even have a good normal time in public. I do get irritable quick at stuff, I feel guilt and shame as well for no reason. I really am against using medications because I know most if not all of these can dampen someone's sex drive (permanently). To me I would rather deal with it without meds and just go to therapy.

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  #5  
Old Jun 26, 2015, 01:57 PM
Nowheretoturn1989 Nowheretoturn1989 is offline
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Any other opinions?

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Old Jun 26, 2015, 09:54 PM
alincdytyourmeds alincdytyourmeds is offline
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you have to ask yourself "is what I am doing working?" if not then you have to change what your doing, so it sounds like the therapy alone isn't working....If your concerned about the side effects, tell the doc what side effects you don't want.
  #7  
Old Jun 26, 2015, 09:59 PM
Nowheretoturn1989 Nowheretoturn1989 is offline
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Haven't done therapy yet, self therapy lol.

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  #8  
Old Jun 26, 2015, 10:08 PM
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Victoria'smom Victoria'smom is offline
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I'm not going to venture into the is this bp or not but hang out here, post, lurk, and get therapy. See if that works and then evaluate meds. Not all of them cause everyone side effects.
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  #9  
Old Jun 26, 2015, 10:52 PM
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~Christina ~Christina is offline
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Doesn't sound like Bipolar to me. But of course I am not a Pdoc. Sounds like your unhappy about numerous things in your life, Doesn't mean its Bipolar or depression or any mental illness. Sometime its just a heads up that you need to make changes in your life.

I think seeing a Therapist would be beneficial.

Good luck
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