[Capriciousness]

I think I'm in that place where it is just bad enough to make me feel incapable of anything but not bad enough to believe that it is actually happening, that it is legit. I guess I feel like that even when it is really bad though.

I just don't have a life where I can take time to do things for me and my mood that may help. I don't have time for myself at all really.

It is good because it keeps me busy and out of my head and focused on other things but sometimes I wonder if it makes it worse sometimes that I never get a moment to just rest myself. To rest at all really. I just have to keep it all going. Keep the smile. Keep the nice voice. (I'm a mom people). It really drains the energy I have for fighting the mood by not getting a chance to rest. And I don't need help coming up with ways to find time for myself. Believe me if they existed I would do them.

There are just days too where you realize that you really shouldn't be around other people because you are grumpy or whatever all negative and crushed down and it is hard when you have no choice but to be with very important people all the time. I remember in the old days I could just stay in my room or come home from work and just be me in my mood. Taking care of me. That's just not my life now. It's very exhausting even when you're not Bipolar. Okay I think I am all done rambling this out now. Back to the grindstone!

[lovejoy91]

I hope everything works out for the best for you. =D

[elevatedsoul]

im sorry you have to always put on a face for people around you
i've got more time to focus on me now but im not sure that it helps... i try to keep myself busy
it really is exhausting having to deal with other people, especially important people all the time

[Elbows]

Wow Capriciousness, I can really relate to you right now. I remember the times of escaping in my room/apartment with no concern of my interactions... but it was an extremely lonely time for me, and I'm sure it was for you too. Just remember that people wanting to be around you is so valuable and any company when you are in this state is better than being alone constantly with your thoughts.

Hang in there. If you want to talk, we can talk. Take care!

Sometimes it's easier to stay busy to avoid affronting the condition. Right now I'm totally in thethe opposite. Be been waiting for work to call which means here I sit day after day, weekly at times, mostly focused on the things that are/have held me down.

Sometimes a break is a good thing, but not too long of one. Don't burn yourself out sweety, we beepers can over do it sometimes, then we have no choice to take a break...a long break.

[Capriciousness]

Thanks everybody. I appreciate your words

[Pinem'e]

I think if you are creative you can find a way, (with someones help perhaps) to schedule regular down times.
Think about it

I'm sorry to hear of the situation you are facing. You mentioned you were a mom, is it possible for your kids to stay at a friends house for the night and then you can a night for yourself?

[raspberrytorte]

I can relate. No downtime when you're a mom. No rest.

Is it possible for you to take some time out for yourself once a week? I've been going to the park lately, just to sit by the water and relax for a bit and focus on some positive energy. Maybe there's a place you can go too? Do you have a significant other who can watch your kid(s) for a bit? Do you work full-time? I'm so exhausted. Obviously I have two days off a week, but one of the days I'm on mom duty all day because my husband works all day. I'm always so stressed out, which is obviously not good when you're a bp.

I used to have all the time in the world to work on my creative endeavors and be alone and read and sleep and have a lot of me time, but no more. Are your kid(s) little? I think once our kids get older we'll have more time to be ourselves again.

[Capriciousness]

I do take a break once a week which is great. What I mean here though is those times when I feel just low and off and weird and want to just not talk to people for a awhile or sit by justo or something. I can't. There's no getting around it when you have kids. I can schedule breaks but it doesn't address this particular need, a different one for sure. But not this one.
Thanks rasp