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  #1  
Old Jul 29, 2015, 01:25 PM
NuckingFutz's Avatar
NuckingFutz NuckingFutz is offline
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Member Since: Sep 2005
Location: Las Vegas, NV
Posts: 4,564
I'm going through a major mixed episode. This is something I haven't had happen in many years.

I am NOT a danger to myself or others.

Met someone special and it seems to have triggered a major manic episode. I've been taking meds just like I am supposed to and also keeping up with my mood journal (as hard as that is right now). My med combination works great, but even that couldn't stop something like this. I am grateful that I am on meds or I'd feel a lot crazier than I am right now.

I have learned that when I am feeling some strong emotions like this, not to act on any knee-jerk reactions I may experience, but to go inside myself and be quiet for a while.

I don't come out of my shell very much, nor do I drink alcohol. This month, I've done both...a lot. Not so much drinking, I've only done that 2x this month. Don't have a problem with alcohol, so that's not a problem.

I've come out of my shell a lot with a certain young man whom I've just met this month. As a result of this mixed episode, I moved him right into my place to live with me. I realize that I was way not thinking straight. I would never do something like this if I were not going through this episode right now. I would consider dating him, but this guy's got a major drinking problem, otherwise, I would hang on to this man and never let him go, he's just that neat of a guy (when he's sober, which isn't much). That's the deal breaker.

I know that I will end this living together situation very soon, but I'm safe, it's quiet and right now is not the time to be making any more sudden moves, even if it means him living here until I feel stronger, more stable.

I feel so alone as if no one else in the world has ever felt or done things that I have done recently. I know that this is not true or this place wouldn't be here for me to come to and share.

I guess I just really need to know that I am not alone, that I will come through this.

Also if anyone has any suggestions on coping while going through this, please leave a response. I will be here, at home, relaxing with my dogs today and just being here, without judgement, in the moment (I am also learning self-compassion).
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NuckingFutz,

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Major Mixed Episode Please Respond if You Can

Major Mixed Episode Please Respond if You Can
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  #2  
Old Jul 29, 2015, 02:37 PM
CopperStar CopperStar is offline
Poohbah
 
Member Since: Apr 2014
Location: US
Posts: 1,484
What you've been doing is not that bad. I'm not trying to downplay anything, but just saying you can relax. My most intense episodes ever.. well I've broken federal law, been homeless, had sexual activities with a complete stranger and thrown something at a supervisor on the job. Among other things. And amazingly I'm still here, healthy, safe and not a terrible person. I am sure I haven't seen the last of super episodes, either. Someday you will be reflecting back on this time in your life and having a wise chuckle about it.
  #3  
Old Jul 29, 2015, 02:53 PM
behappynow behappynow is offline
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Member Since: Jul 2015
Location: Canada
Posts: 52
Quote:
Originally Posted by NuckingFutz View Post
I'm going through a major mixed episode. This is something I haven't had happen in many years.

I am NOT a danger to myself or others.

Met someone special and it seems to have triggered a major manic episode. I've been taking meds just like I am supposed to and also keeping up with my mood journal (as hard as that is right now). My med combination works great, but even that couldn't stop something like this. I am grateful that I am on meds or I'd feel a lot crazier than I am right now.

I have learned that when I am feeling some strong emotions like this, not to act on any knee-jerk reactions I may experience, but to go inside myself and be quiet for a while.

I don't come out of my shell very much, nor do I drink alcohol. This month, I've done both...a lot. Not so much drinking, I've only done that 2x this month. Don't have a problem with alcohol, so that's not a problem.

I've come out of my shell a lot with a certain young man whom I've just met this month. As a result of this mixed episode, I moved him right into my place to live with me. I realize that I was way not thinking straight. I would never do something like this if I were not going through this episode right now. I would consider dating him, but this guy's got a major drinking problem, otherwise, I would hang on to this man and never let him go, he's just that neat of a guy (when he's sober, which isn't much). That's the deal breaker.

I know that I will end this living together situation very soon, but I'm safe, it's quiet and right now is not the time to be making any more sudden moves, even if it means him living here until I feel stronger, more stable.

I feel so alone as if no one else in the world has ever felt or done things that I have done recently. I know that this is not true or this place wouldn't be here for me to come to and share.

I guess I just really need to know that I am not alone, that I will come through this.

Also if anyone has any suggestions on coping while going through this, please leave a response. I will be here, at home, relaxing with my dogs today and just being here, without judgement, in the moment (I am also learning self-compassion).
Ahh, I find mixed episodes to be the worst. Please don't feel lonely, there are a lot of people on here willing to support you, including me. I would suggest removing this guy out of your life and seeing your pdoc as soon as you can. Also, although you might have made a mistake, don't beat yourself down about it. I hope you feel better soon!
__________________
Diagnoses:
Bipolar Disorder, ADHD, GAD, Social Anxiety, Specific Phobias
Previous Medications:
Cipralex (Escitalopram), Celexa (Citalopram), Cymbalta (Duloxetine), Zoloft (Sertraline), Seroquel (Quetiapine), Latuda, Abilify (Aripiprazole), Lectopam (Bromazepam), Concerta (Methylphenidate)
Current Medications:
Lithium 900 mg, Vyvanse 60 mg (twice per day), Pristiq 100 mg, Clonazepam (Klonopin) 3 mg, Haldol 2-4 mg + Ativan (Lorazepam) 1-2 mg
  #4  
Old Jul 29, 2015, 03:21 PM
LettinG0's Avatar
LettinG0 LettinG0 is offline
Grand Poohbah
 
Member Since: Nov 2014
Location: Itty Bitty City in the South, USA
Posts: 1,517
You seem to be very self-aware and taking care of yourself, which is really good.

You are NOT alone....we've all been there, done those sorts of things (I recently rashly gave up my home and went homeless for about a month.....still digging out of that one )

Continue to take care of yourself and do what you need to do to correct the situation when you are feeling strong enough....
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  #5  
Old Jul 29, 2015, 04:12 PM
~Christina's Avatar
~Christina ~Christina is offline
Legendary Wise Elder
Community Liaison
 
Member Since: Jul 2011
Location: Tennessee
Posts: 22,450
I'm sorry that you dealing with stress over recent events.. But your safe, you didnt marry him after the first date so that's a plus !

Go easy on yourself, Build yourself up, No tearing down.

Enjoy your pups!
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Helping others gets me out of my own head ~
  #6  
Old Jul 29, 2015, 04:18 PM
Anonymous59125
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Posts: n/a
Just stopping by to say sorry you're going through this. It sounds like you know what you need to do. I wish I had advise, but I'm bad with it.

Mixed episodes are the worse in my experience. Sending you a big hug. YOu have a lot on your plate right now. Stay kind to yourself and enjoy your pups.
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