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#1
Jul 27, 2015, 10:59 AM
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Do any of you ever feel like you know the right thing to do to feel better, but you avoid it anyway because a tiny part of you is used to and feels comfortable with the misery that is life? I ask because I know I am supposed to get out more and sometimes just making myself get up, shower and get dressed, and go outside should help me. But yet I'd rather stay under the covers in my sunless room.
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 Crazy Hitch
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#2
Jul 27, 2015, 11:32 AM
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Absolutely. I think I developed that from my history with PTSD. I have a fear of getting better and then life blowing up again. I'm also exhausted from life being one crisis after another and I've forgotten what it feels like to feel better. It's hard to motivate yourself to do things when you're not confident in the payoff.
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 gina_re
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#3
Jul 27, 2015, 01:22 PM
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It makes perfect sense to feel that way. When what you know and are good at is misery, then why change it for something that is alien or you are bad at?
People that have suffered from depression are experts on misery, and I often feel that if that is taken away from me then what is left? In that also plays a level of narcissism. Of feeling special because of my misery, that I have a unique insight into the human condition because of my illness. But dealing with this is just like dealing with any routine, breaking out of them is incredibly difficult. It takes time and effort and in the case of bipolar the help of professionals and medication. |
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#4
Jul 27, 2015, 02:35 PM
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No. I like positive change. I like being happy.
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#5
Jul 27, 2015, 02:47 PM
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Trust me I do too, but when I'm depressed it's difficult to want to be happy. At least for me. When I'm stable, I feel like a f****n rockstar!
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#6
Jul 27, 2015, 03:32 PM
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Absolutely when depressed. I did a lot of reading on the subject because I thought my T was trying to manipulate me (she wasn't she truly is a sweet heart). Being a chemistry student I went into the biochemistry of depression and the greatest relief for me was to read how depression literally changes the metabolism of the brain. It still sucks but it gave me the information that I am not a bad person or lazy because I am not "doing what I am supposed to" in order to feel better. I have come to terms with the fact that sometimes I literally do not have the energy to get out of bed. it is still a pain in the ***, but knowing that it not entirely my fault or that I am not sabotaging my progress is comforting.
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| gina_re
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#7
Jul 27, 2015, 04:31 PM
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When I'm depressed I can totally relate to your question (gina).
It's like, why bother. Who am I bothering to do it for. I couldn't care less when I'm in the depths of depression. Even though I'm actutely aware at the time that I need to do things to change I simply don't. |
| gina_re
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#8
Jul 27, 2015, 05:18 PM
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Yes, in both mania and depression i am like duck it
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| gina_re
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| Reply |
This is an old thread. You probably should not post your reply to it, as the original poster is unlikely to see it.|
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