[nottfadeaway]

So I finally saw a competent doctor and she pretty much diagnosed me as bipolar II on the spot. For years, like even since I was a kid, I've constantly cycled through hypomanic and depressive states, non-stop. I already have bulimia, OCD (which is tied to my eating disorder), General Anxiety Disorder, and was diagnosed with clinical depression when I was 14 (I'm 29 now).

I've been put on Lamictal, in addition to 120 mg of Clonazepam a month and 10 mg of ambien per night.

One thing my doctor said that was interesting is that normal anti-depressants can actually make someone who has a form of bipolar even worse and unbalance their mood even more, which makes sense because whenever I would be put on an SSRI I would go full-out manic.

I'm hoping the Lamictal helps, as nothing I've been on has helped me. My previous doctor put me on Zyprexa, knowing that I have an eating disorder, and I gained 10 pounds in 2 weeks and promptly stopped the medication. I then promptly switched doctors, as I felt as if he wasn't a good fit; he would spend 30 minutes talking about himself and I wasn't able to actually talk about my problems, which are really serious.

I also think my eating disorder may be apart of my mania, as when it happens I simply lose complete control. tl;dr, I have a lot of things going on with my head.

Does anyone have any advice, as someone who has just been diagnosed with a form of Bipolar disorder and is trying to get their life back together? I feel like it has literally destroyed my life. Yet at the same time, I am a freelance video game journalist and my hypomania actually makes me very goal-oriented and productive. But then, after a few weeks, I completely crash into a total depression. It happens every single month and my episodes can last from a few weeks to a month and then some. It's a constant back and forth between depression and a high and I just can't take being so unbalanced anymore.

[RomanJames2014]

Hey!

I see no one has responded so Id like to be the first to say that I totally hear you.
I always knew they're was something different about me and no one wanted to hear it. Finally, I was seeing a therapist through my college and with out ever bringing up bipolar, she asked me if I had ever heard of bipolar and that she highly recommended that I see a PDOC.

So I went and he diagnosed me with bipolar type two because I have been in a hypomanic state for a while.

Everything makes sense to me now because I understand why I act the way that I do and looking back at my child hood. I realize why I acted the way that I did.

At first I was relived that I could get the help and then after that I became angry because the PDOC asked me why no one ever took me to get help and then I became angry at all of the teachers and parents and family in my life that talked to me and never did anything.

I would like to say welcome but in a way its not so great to be bipolar. I like that I am hypo-manic now and I was started to feel depressed so I went off my meds and now im getting back up there.

Now I am having a hard time telling others and gaining the support from them. I feel all alone dealing with this and I am sure that you feel similar.

If you ever need to chat just hit me up!

RomanJames.

[RomanJames2014]

OH! ALso,

I wanted to recommend a book that helped me grasp what the heck I am dealing with here.

It is called Manic by Terry Cheney and I find soo many things in common with her its crazy (lol).

It's like 10$ at Barnes and Noble. I really liked it.

[raspberrytorte]

Lamictal really helped me when I first started taking it. I hope it helps you and you feel better soon!

[nottfadeaway]

Thanks for the support everyone! My current pdoc made my former pdoc look like an amateur. I didn't have the normal hour long session that an initial appointment would have, but they had me fill out an assessment beforehand (very thorough).

I told my old doctor I wanted to try Lamictal, but he refused because of the rash. At first he put me on Abilify, knowing I had no insurance and couldn't afford it long-term, and then he put me on Neurontin, which studies have shown works no better than a placebo as a mood stabilizer. Then the Zyprexa issue, when he knew I was bulimic, even though I objected.

I'm feeling a lot better with the direction of my treatment and I always feel that the patient should have some day in its direction. I research meds thoroughly and actually used to be a counseling major in graduate school, but because of a car accident and then bulimia, I had to withdraw. It's been 2 1/2 years since and I even think my Bipolar may have something to do with that as well. I just have so many disorders that are comorbid.

[WibblyWobbly]

My advice is comply with your meds. If you don't like something or feel like it isn't working, do not take yourself off it, talk to your pdoc. I'm saying this because compliance is a huge issue with BP.

I also recommend exercising when you are feeling good. That way your body will be healthier when you are in a slump.

Identify distracting activities that make you feel good—art, writing, walking your dog, etc. Try to engage in these when you are depressed.

Hang in there

[BrandonAK]

Welcome, welcome! I agree with WibblyWobbly.. Stick to the meds. There is no reason to go off of them, even if you are feeling better!

I took ADHD pills and depression pills before I got to my current PDoc. She noted that it is probably the reason I went off the deep end a few times. Thank goodness for competent doctors!

Feel free to message me if you have any questions. Good luck!

Brandon

[Blackbeltwolfmother]

I was inaccurately diagnosed with depression and anxiety at first. Put in effexor er, kept throwing me into hyponanias but didn't realize it at first.
My mother was diagnosed and she said go get a proper diagnosis cuz I think u r the same.
Yup! Bp2 & gad.
Started on lamictal and it made a WORLD of difference! Only really mild mood swings when under lots of stress. Was on small dose of prozac (so lamictal could keep moods stable still, but prozac could help but not quite take away anxiety). That stopped helping the gad so now I'm starting celexa.

Anyway, its been a relief really, to have an accurate dx and figure out how to deal. So while it was daunting at first, its been great to improve my quality of life. I'm sure you'll find the same!

Lamictal did wonders for me. I don't see why your pdoc would say no because of the rash, it's really not that common. After I was diagnosed I read every book I could about bipolar. It was very helpful in terms of enabling me to accept my diagnosis and make a plan for my future. It seems that the people that accept their diagnosis and are proactive with their own treatment are able to lead healthy and productive lives. Bipolar sucks but it's not all gloom and doom, if you do what you need to do.

[Homeira]

After all the great advice above, I only have one thing to add. Make sure your body has the right amounts of vitamins and minerals. Meds can cause your body to not take up adequate amounts even if you have a decent diet. Have your doc take blood-tests. I was low on vit B, vit D, as well as iron. It made my depression/lethargy much worse. And after I started taking supplements and had weekly shots of vit B, I felt better. Not a cure for BP and not a substitute for meds, but just something that has helped me...