[Wildflower4]

I thought I was holding it all together really well despite how I was feeling. I tried to hide what I was going through while at school (medical based massage therapy) even though my anxiety was greatly increased due to school. I tried to keep a forced smile on my face even though I was feeling like hell inside.

Today, my shell cracked. I couldn't face going to class tonight, tried doing the technique my T taught me to handle the anxiety and only became worse. I was having a complete breakdown. Called my pdoc and he told me to take part of my Seroquel dose to calm down. My husband said it's time to quit the program. He was right. Going to the school to withdraw sucked and it will cost me a lot of money but I couldn't do it anymore. I tried and it wasn't enough.

I feel a little less anxious because I don't have to go anymore but I also feel like a complete failure. I was over half way done. I tried to "tough" it out for a few more months (graduation would have been in December) but I couldn't. This really sucks. That is all.

[BeyondtheRainbow]

I'm so sorry you had to make that decision. Giving up work was the hardest thing I've ever had to do and I never want to make that kind of decision again. It's hard to put so much in and not get out what you hoped for.

[Christopher1990]

I can relate to how ****** that feels. I have withdrew from college three times. Managing to get my Associates,it had to settle on that due to an episode. I tried going back part time last year and had to withdraw after two weeks. Luckily I've gotten my money back.

They are forgiving a huge amount of my loans. Which, I am very lucky for. The problem is I can't get any financial aid, or work, until another year.

Two years ago when I had to settle my associates I also only had 2-3 weeks left. And I had all Bs and As. I was only able to finish my math class and had to suffer a huge set back. This was due to being off meds for 5months. Biggest mistake of my life. Meds make me slower, but being a little bit slower, rather then being on edge all the time is a trade off.

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[Wildflower4]

The sad thing is I was feeling like I was starting to come out of this a bit yesterday. I was tired, no energy and a bit weepy but I was functioning and that all came crashing down today.

Felt like it hit me out of nowhere. I think I scared my husband a little bit and that's the last thing I wanted to do. I guess I thought since one day was good I was handling it and I learned a hard lesson today.

[gina_re]

I'm so sorry you're experiencing this. I myself am taking a break from school to give my brain a break. My depressed mood has killed my concentration and I just can't do it right now. And school definitely isn't cheap. But that doesn't mean that it is the end of your journey. We all need a break every once in a while. You're not a failure and you can go back when you're ready. I did and it all worked out in the end.

[jackielunaaa]

I understand, this is my situation with school and jobs. but here's the thing, your illness is REAL. why should someone with a mental illness not have the same rest as someone with a "real" illness or a broken leg? you can't walk on that leg until it's healed. same with your mental health. work on yourself and I promise, that when you're ready, you'll excel.

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[Sesiley]

Try to get your illness managed. There's no cure, but there is hope. In due time you will have it all together and will succeed! Don't put too much on your plate ok? Stress is a trigger. Hang in there. Use your tools and take your meds.

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