[Moreta]

I saw my new t today and she kinda blew my mind. I have been so negative about having bipolar for many years. Today she suggested that maybe I use my compassionate voice towards bipolar. The second time I saw her, I designated blue as the color that represents depression and hot pink as the color of the clear minded, compassionate voice in my head. So I'm supposed to use this pink voice and come up with ways that bipolar has helped me and to see if I can get over my negativity towards the illness.

No therapist has ever told me to think about it this way. Being compassionate with bipolar. Seems like a tall order to think that way.

I'm going to be doing a cord cutting ceremony with the shaman I see later this week, and my therapist told me to envision all the negativity I have with bipolar and depression. Hopefully it'll help.

[wiretwister]

Originally Posted by Moreta

I saw my new t today and she kinda blew my mind. I have been so negative about having bipolar for many years. Today she suggested that maybe I use my compassionate voice towards bipolar. The second time I saw her, I designated blue as the color that represents depression and hot pink as the color of the clear minded, compassionate voice in my head. So I'm supposed to use this pink voice and come up with ways that bipolar has helped me and to see if I can get over my negativity towards the illness.

No therapist has ever told me to think about it this way. Being compassionate with bipolar. Seems like a tall order to think that way.

I'm going to be doing a cord cutting ceremony with the shaman I see later this week, and my therapist told me to envision all the negativity I have with bipolar and depression. Hopefully it'll help.

That sounds great, you can be anything you want to be if you just set your bp mind to it ...

[Christopher1990]

Bipolar helping me? That's a difficult question to answer. It has given me more compassion towards anybody going through something, whether it's mental health, or addicition. I'm more understanding of people.

It has also made me question, what's the meaning of all this, why would any God do this to me..

Having bipolar has made me a stronger person.

But the negatives.. Mann they outweigh all the positives


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[SirMoos]

I really love that idea! The compassionate voice and color labeling is something new to me, but it sounds great. I can think of a number of ways that bipolar has helped me and hurt me, but focusing on the helping and softening the hurt seems like an awesome way to manage life.
Really cool t you found.

[CopperStar]

Originally Posted by Moreta

I'm going to be doing a cord cutting ceremony with the shaman I see later this week, and my therapist told me to envision all the negativity I have with bipolar and depression. Hopefully it'll help.

That sounds really cool, I would love to read about that if you feel like sharing about it.

[nikimcn]

Originally Posted by Christopher1990

Bipolar helping me? That's a difficult question to answer. It has given me more compassion towards anybody going through something, whether it's mental health, or addicition. I'm more understanding of people.

It has also made me question, what's the meaning of all this, why would any God do this to me..

Having bipolar has made me a stronger person.

But the negatives.. Mann they outweigh all the positives


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I feel the same way...why would God give me this dreaded disease? and what's the meaning of all this. I wholeheartedly agree.

[Moreta]

I would like to share my journal that I wrote after my t appointment. Yes it took a while to write, since my brain isn't 100%.

With bipolar I think it makes me more creative though. I enjoy doing arts and crafts. I also enjoy supporting people and I think with having bipolar I can better understand where people are coming from. It also makes me more caring, when I’m not depressed. I want to share with people how to become stable, which I have done in the past, and am working on now. I think with making changes to my diet, taking my meds, and supplements, I can get stable again. I also think therapy will play a role in this. I think with the right type of therapy, stability is an actual option. By stable I mean feeling the proper amount of emotion about things. No crazy mania or debilitating depression, just normal. I think I can get there, with hard work, if I put the effort into it. The next question is, am I really ready to accept my challenges and make changes to them. I’ve accepted that I have bipolar, I just need to do something about it now. I think if I get rid of the negativity I have towards the bipolar, I will be able to become more compassionate towards it. I will probably have more compassion in general if I do that. Would be nice to be able to get rid of all the negativity. Been negative about bipolar for so long and never realized I can use it for my advantage. There is a battle going on in my mind which hopefully the positive side will talk some sense into the negative side and my brain will work right. I think for there to be a truce I need my pink side to flourish and remind the blue side that everything is ok and things will work out for the better. Part of the problem is that I put a lot of my self worth into working but I can't work right now so I need to take this time to get better and work on myself. I think if I can love myself better I'll be able to achieve more in life. I know I will be able to work in the future, once I am stable for a while. Probably not in a stressful job, but I’ll be able to do something. Right now, I should focus on doing arts and crafts and things that soothe me. I just need to find the motivation to do them. Blue is saying it’s a waste of time and I’m not good at them, but I know that’s a lie. I am good at them and I know I could make some money doing them. I just need to set some time every day to do something.

I just need to get my brain straight and it’s mostly there. I think with a few more med tweaks I’ll be good to go. I can feel the fog lifting some with the lowered lamictal. Just need to be careful, don’t want to spiral out of control again. Pink is saying this time will be different if I do have a crisis though and I’ll be able to handle it better, since I know I need to reach out at the first warning signs, instead of waiting till I’m in crisis.

[Woolly Bugger]

Bipolar disorder has been responsible for the most dangerous and exciting times in my life. I wouldn't be any other way.

[Christopher1990]

"I can't work right now, but I can work on myself"

Very insightful Moreta. This is my current situation, and like you I've been focusing on bettering myself, and staying away from all the negative substances that have damaged my life in the past. Learning from experience. There's hope. There's always hope! If I can make it two more months without an episode, I'll be celebrating a whole year of stability. Which, hasn't happened in about 3 years.



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