[SilverNeurotic]

My husband was diagnosed with bipolar and ADD just prior to us dating. I'd love to connect with other people whose partner also has bipolar (or ADD).

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Hi there. I'm a partner with Bipolar disorder. My wife is also a member here. I could have her reach out to you if you would like.

[SilverNeurotic]

That would be nice.

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[music junkie]

My gf has bipolar and ADD as well. You can always pm me if you want.

[SilverNeurotic]

Thank you. I think I will. :-)

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[Empossible1]

I understand the complexities involved if you ever need to someone to talk to. My bf, partner, father of our child lives with me and coping with BP 1

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My partner and I both have bipolar 1. My inbox is open.

[Empossible1]

Been a pretty tumultuous last 2 days dealing with rage and outbursts about how bad my behavior living around BP and alcohol binge drinking. Triggered by changes in routines and me getting as irrational as him because I am so stressed out and no more reserve. The only way I've coped is with my own denial and ability to ignore and withdrawal. I don't want to live like this and it takes so much energy from me to try and refocus and reign him in and I am angry! I am disgusted with myself for having the audacity of Hope because I actually believed he was going to really try to change but he doesn't see anything wrong with the way he spews and everyone else is to blame and he needs endless affirmation and assurance and I AM TIRED

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[Empossible1]

Question:
How do you avoid becoming in a parental role or maintain equality with partner not following plan? I have resisted monitoring med compliance and getting into weird dynamic but it's clear I will need to be more involved to facilitate this because he is too far into his head to do it on his own. I don't want him to resent me and it goes against my values to act like I am a parent...thoughts?

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[SilverNeurotic]

I have the same issues. I'm trying to take over meds as that is something that gives my husband trouble (ordering on time), but he keeps coming up with excuses even though he said he wanted me to take over.

The other thing is getting him to help around the house. I have a job that requires me to stay on the job site for two full days out of the week, and almost every week I come home to a huge mess. I have tried leaving lists, making up specific schedules for the day...but usually I come home to nothing getting done and even more to do on my days off.

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[Empossible1]

I am going to take my emotions out of it and just do it and provide structure the best I can. Praying for peace and strength for you and hope for healing. Xoxo

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[music junkie]

Originally Posted by Empossible1

Question:
How do you avoid becoming in a parental role or maintain equality with partner not following plan? I have resisted monitoring med compliance and getting into weird dynamic but it's clear I will need to be more involved to facilitate this because he is too far into his head to do it on his own. I don't want him to resent me and it goes against my values to act like I am a parent...thoughts?

Sometimes you just can't avoid it. I have to monitor her meds at some level pretty much all the time. She did resent it in the beginning because she didn't like me treating her like a child. But she had taken herself off her meds before, so I really didn't give her a choice. Now that she has been on track for quite a while, I give her more space & don't question her as much unless she's having an off day. But since she is pretty much stable now, it will be obvious if she's not being compliant.

[SilverNeurotic]

Originally Posted by Empossible1

I am going to take my emotions out of it and just do it and provide structure the best I can. Praying for peace and strength for you and hope for healing. Xoxo

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I think that is the best thing, even if it does feel like parenting. Providing stability is most important.

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[SilverNeurotic]

I'm using this thread to vent... my husband is driving me up the wall this week. I've been doing a lot of cleaning our shared space and had gotten it to a place where it was ready for a deep clean... came home from my 48 hour shift to everything basically wrecked.

I have to have a neat area so that on my off days from my stressful job are relaxed. I don't mind pulling my share, and doing certain chores (e.g. dishes) but I resent going back to square one every weekend.

Then on top of getting no help as far as cleaning... he spends almost all the time playing video games in his office while I attempt to clean the mess or shut down completely and spend my time off reading or watching TV in order to ignore everything around me.

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