[fishin fool]

I have bipolar but it is a beautiful day.

[gina_re]

Took my first dose of 200mg of wellbutrin sr....I definitely feel it working! But I noticed a shift in my mood when my mom came home. She's staying with me temporarily, so there's something to talk about in therapy this week!

Today has been another of many nightmares, looking for hope.

[sorand0m]

Coming out of hell after spending three months falling down the pit. And I'm wondering how many more times I can do this.

[Nevvy]

My brain is broken, the disability center suggested I stop studying or halve my load.... But I'm forced to read children's books to get my concentration back up, so I think it will be quitting for me.... Again.

Slept another 14 hours today and writing this from my bed. Ordered dinner for tonight even. Used to love cooking but now I can't get myself to do it, nor can I game anymore and getting out of the house is a struggle once again. I just don't know anymore.

I wish there was a switch or miracle drug to make me back to my old self.


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[gayleggg]

I saw my psychiatrist today and he decided I didn't need to come back for three months which is good news. Then why am I feeling apprehensive. It's been a while since I have gone this long between visit. I should be relieved, right?

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[Standup2me]

I wonder how many of us lie to our P.docs?
I do...sometimes...

Day 9 of bad mental symptoms. The last few days has been straight up suicidal depression. I am so upset that I have to go through this every month again. 9 freaking days of batshit insane. I yelled at my boss and spent 4 days literally screaming in my bed. I cant do this again. Going to start begging doctors to remove everything again. I wish they still did lobotomies.

Overall, been doing quite well lately. To where random thoughts like "meds-schmeds " wander through. What a short memory(!) Don't worry, I know it's classic thought pattern (All better now! ) I'm sure Brain will be reminding me soon enough why I take them. Meanwhile, enjoying.

[Standup2me]

Originally Posted by Innerzone

Overall, been doing quite well lately. To where random thoughts like "meds-schmeds " wander through. What a short memory(!) Don't worry, I know it's classic thought pattern (All better now! ) I'm sure Brain will be reminding me soon enough why I take them. Meanwhile, enjoying.

I know what you mean about the meds-schmeds thing. I often try to fool myself like that, however Common Sense knocks on my door...well, kicks it in really, and I am back to respecting the meds

[Takeshi]

Possible trigger:

I see veins everywhere, where else can I try next time?

I'm new to this, it was rather impulsive, happened at a wrong time, I'm counting 6,7 thin lines on my arm, am I going too fast or too slow? I just know that this ain't cutting it.

I want to go deeper with all the safety precautions with a rational/normal mind intact before and after. I'm hoping to take care all the mess that comes along with it by myself, and although I have a certain time frame in mind, there's no specific plan for the next time.

I don't wanna think any more tonight, it'd just get me more irritable. I'll go sleep it off in a few hours.

[Standup2me]

Originally Posted by Takeshi

Possible trigger:

I see veins everywhere, where else can I try next time?

I'm new to this, it was rather impulsive, happened at a wrong time, I'm counting 6,7 thin lines on my arm, am I going too fast or too slow? I just know that this ain't cutting it.

I want to go deeper with all the safety precautions with a rational/normal mind intact before and after. I'm hoping to take care all the mess that comes along with it by myself, and although I have a certain time frame in mind, there's no specific plan for the next time.

I don't wanna think any more tonight, it'd just get me more irritable. I'll go sleep it off in a few hours.

Please contact your therapist. You need help and support right now.
You are fragile. Don't ever forget that, please

[gina_re]

I had four good days. FOUR. Four days of no anxiety or crushing depression. I was starting to feel like I was finally making some progress.I actually wanted to be out of my house and go places. But as the evening turns to night, anxiety is now looming over my head. WTF?! I'm trying to make myself think that this is temporary. I'm hoping that I can go to sleep and wake up tomorrow feeling good again. Please. I'm just too tired to keep having a couple of good days followed by a week of anxiety and depression.

[Justmedarkstar]

Today was not a good day for me. I've been in a mild depressive state for approximately three weeks now and today it just all came crashing down on me. I'm so tired of feeling this way. I've really been thinking a lot about getting off my meds and getting back to myself. This new self is not working for me. I'm going to go to bed tonight with the thought that tomorrow will be a better day.

Well I have learned some things today, not to do that thing again. Which is ok, I am trying not to beat myself up for it but I have learned now that I need to be more aware of how my words can affect other people. Some people are smarter than I give them credit for!

Need a day of rest today, the ativan yesterday helped my mood/anxiety but I am quite tired now. I have a friend coming over tonight. I have much to do with my animals today too but that will after some meditation.

Hugs and high fives to you all

[99 FAIRIES]

I had to take my PRN for the second day in a row...zyprexa.... I hate it... But it helps.

[gayleggg]

Feeling down today. I keep hoping it will get better.

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[Pikku Myy]

Been feeling good lately, now goofing around and thinking I am getting a bit mixed again. Trying to keep life in balance as best as I can. Simple daily struggle.

[gina_re]

Ok, well after last nights breakdown I'm better. Had an ok day, no complaints. Going to dinner with my mom tonight, hopefully that ends well. We have some issues to resolve...

[Justmedarkstar]

Today was a better day. I actually took a shower and got dressed. I didn't get to the housework like I wanted to but tomorrow is another day. Right?

[Standup2me]

I've been on Lithium for a few months now, and it has given me major tummy-aches over the last month. I don't know why.

[gina_re]

I went shopping today for the first time in like a month. And went to my favorite restaurant, Chipotle! Things are finally looking up.

[Takeshi]

This lady, who works for the same mall came in a minute ago, complaining about the company policy of not letting her wear sunglasses while on the job. She tells me that even a lightly tinted pair weren't allowed. She had to have a friggin surgery on her left eye, it's her medical condition, and she's been darn nice to me buying me coffee and stuff. She's diabetic, so she won't be accepting chocolates and cookies from me, the best I can do is to shoot the **** with her even when I'm not in the mood. Wish I could do more for her. I did one thing though, there are a couple of naked mannequin outside and they were scaring her and myself, so oneday I covered them up with a plastic sheet, I even made a maxi dress for one of them, plus a masquerade mask.

As for me today, I've got a belly button infection!

It hurts whenever I'm required to move my body, it's worse when I need to bend over. No taking off my shoes when the nature calls today. Oh it hurts especially when I poke on it, I just think like I wonder how much pain are we equipped to deal with? Seems a little excessive if you think all we do is be born and die.

I have been sleeping longer, making it to early start long weekend shift is getting harder and harder. I'm thinking of getting sjw pills and multi vitamin pills on the way back home today. This mulnutritoned body could be quite serious and I been still going back and forth between eating properly and almost not eating what's required of me.

Well, my work's piling up. My abs hurt whenever I move and this belly button discharge isn't stopping. Fun day!

Possible trigger:

Tomorrow, it may not be such a bad idea to get close to a rapid train that passes through my station, I remember I used to do that. (The train is operated by a real human being, so this option is kinda out.)My recent behaviors such as taking my razor to work or sharpening the knife at work needs revision. I'm still quite serious though, I want to perform my own bloodletting and I'll be soaking a post card with the red viscous liquid and send it to my mom, yes I'm a bastard for doing that, but I'm in a survival mode I guess, unfortunately free clean needles aren't accessible to me, I'd rather cut myself, suture it if I have to, than letting my brain take me back to the cage,that happened last week for several hours. Living my life now can be looked at as losing the part of me till the day I die, it's no fun. Whatever I'm feeling right now, it's not self hatred. I may be doing some course corrections, if little cuts gonna give me more extension of life which I consider I'm already be on, I'm ready to take that now.

Another day of screaming and crying and being told to take meds. 10mg ativan down and still my eyes are dripping like a tap. My head hurts, i feel nauseous and exhasted.

People try to help but Im beyond it

Why bother getting out of bed when I feel this physically sick. It doesn't leave me and my head screams at me. I'm sad but unwell in bed