[Edgar's Mom]

Why is everyone so terrified of rambling in a post? Has there been some rule established that there's a limit to the number of sentences a person can post?

It really annoys me to see people sharing their pain and feeling ashamed of doing so or fearful of judgement. Who is making them feel this way?

Most of the time I see people apologizing after a few sentences, which seems ridiculous to me.

If someone else only wants to read three sentences and that's the limit, too bad for them! Let them stop reading and miss out on one of the best parts of the board. Let them be selfish and judgemental. They can be alone with their three sentence limit. But that shouldn't be imposed in others through social pressure on this board.

There are those of us who are interested in hearing what others have to say and our problems are complicated and require background so that people can give informed responses.

Sometimes I wonder if the people apologizing for rambling are doing so because they themselves have judged others for doing so in the past. If that's the case why is it OK for you to ramble in this instance but not others?

I say ramble away, but please hit return and break up your paragraphs with white space so they are easy to read!

I always ramble by these standards and though very few people ever answer, dozens read.

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[BadWolfC]

It's an anxiety thing, they think that others don't want to hear about their problems even though they really want to share them. I'm guilty of this.

[wiretwister]

Not fear of judgement , more fear of being a burden, .... at least for me ...

[Hashi/bipolar mom]

Originally Posted by wiretwister

Not fear of judgement , more fear of being a burden, .... at least for me ...

Same here, it's me, not anyone else.

[Edgar's Mom]

But it's more than that. I posted when I first got here about this as I had the impression that it was not okay to make long posts. Some people said go for it, but many said they didn't like them, and wouldn't read them. Mine are always long, but there's never any shortage of people reading, in spite of that.

If there is some sort of repressive fear of Posting-Police judging us, how can we really benefit from this board. We need to feel okay with posting our problems.

I can tell you both that I am interested in your problems. And I know there will be many others who are as well. Anyone who is not interested can leave the thread and go and "not care" somewhere else. Don't let the fear of these people inhibit your posts. It's toxic.

[Hashi/bipolar mom]

Girl, you do whatever you want and don't worry about anybody else. I don't think anybody is watching, just everybody has different preferences. I don't mind long posts but some people might, just because they have a short attention span due to meds, etc. It's all good! Hugs

[gina_re]

I thought the whole point of this community was to share our thoughts and feelings. If it turns out they are longer than others, so be it. Do what makes you comfortable. People will read what they want and skip over what they want either way.

[wiretwister]

Originally Posted by gina_re

I thought the whole point of this community was to share our thoughts and feelings. If it turns out they are longer than others, so be it. Do what makes you comfortable. People will read what they want and skip over what they want either way.

amen, ...

[Edgar's Mom]

That's precisely my point, but many people seem to feel inhibited due to guilt or fear of judgement. I do post long posts anyway, and people seem to read them regardless of their length.

But other people seem afraid to, and that bothers me. Also, when people are constantly apologizing for it, they are inadvertently reinforcing the belief that it is somehow "not okay" to do so. That they are doing something "wrong," and that gives the impression that anyone else who exceeds the three sentence limit is wrong too.

[gina_re]

I think some of that may come from how we feel IRL because we always have to explain ourselves for certain behaviors. I know I have a tendency to constantly apologize for my behavior for some reason..

[Curiosity77]

I tend to apologize, because i feel embarrassed or like I'm taking up too much space, or whatever else. It's an anxiety thing

[BipolaRNurse]

Personally, I like the longer posts. I like to know something of the poster and the "backstory". The problem is when there are no paragraphs and I'm faced with this huge wall of text...I tend not to read those because it's so overwhelming. I can't focus and all the good information gets lost. But that's just me.

[Angelique67]

I have a lot of problems with focus and concentration. It hardly means I don't care. Just that I can not process many long posts most of the time. I'm definitely not telling people how to post, or not caring.

[BeyondtheRainbow]

I have a hard time writing short posts and delete a lot of things because it's too hard to make them concise. I'm only able to be concise when my mood is more controlled than usual and I'm very aware of that here.

Personally I've had reactions to long posts that made me feel uncomfortable. Having said that I also had a few people who just don't like me much on here and that was made clear. Which made me more self-conscious.

I do the best I can. But I'm always aware of post size. Just last night I was writing about some of the things I learned in 30 hours in a psych ER (and I learnd some interesting things) and I wound up deleting because I didn't feel up to making it shorter.

I wish I didn't feel that way but my experiences here have shaped that into me. I'm glad you brought up the topic. I think everyone has a right to choose what they are going to read and not going to read but I have found that I have a comfort level issue with writing more than a few short paragraphs. I still do it. But I try not to.

oh geez... im actually guilty of both apologizing when and not rambling....

but then again, i apologize for anything... pretty much out of anxiety when talking to people... self-esteem thing... although, im not exactly sure when i last apologized in that manner... had friends help me out of that habit, so usually i just ramble and thats it... and if i sense it really is disrespectful or anything, i apologize... but really, not a big deal for me to think about...

so yeah... anxiety and politeness...

[Edgar's Mom]

I'm sending out a huge group hug to all of you. I'm sad to see how people feel embarrassed, or guilty, or like they are taking too much time. You are all worth the time it takes to read a post. What you have to say is important to me. That's the whole point of this board and I also love reading your posts. Make them long and fill them with detail :-)

[LadyShadow]

Wow, what an interesting topic. You know I have never felt bad about long posts. I kinda just write and just hit "send". Whoever reads it reads it and whoever doesn't doesn't. People on here shouldn't feel guilty or have the need to apologize, although I do understand the anxiety self-esteem thing. FYI I have horrible self esteem but can give less than two figs if anyone doesn't like what I write.

Also you have to be in the mood. Sometimes I see a lot of text and don't read, sometimes I do. It all depends on the person and what they feel like reading. But what I do love about the internet is their is a "shut down" option. So if you don't like it or they don't like it, just hit "shut down". If only real life relationships were that easy. Someone hurting you or telling you something bad then just hit "shut down".