Hell and bliss at the same time experience

You can share your experiences here. I'll be happy to read them .

So I was accidentally off Seroquel for a few days which was absolute bliss and hell at the same time. I was scared shitless of what my body can be capable off. Staying up all night without an ounce of tiredness. Insomnia is absolute hell if you have work but I felt like I could do anything and everything. Bouncing on a bed at silly o clock was fun. My head just wouldn't shut up though which was frustrating. The withdrawals were horrible...felt like I was going to be sick which I did put my fingers down my throat to get rid of the sickness.

I climbed a skate park shelter and walked a few times on the roof taking photos. It was brilliant. Climbing is fun. If you can get out of your comfort zone you'll be amazed at what you can do . Never be afraid to go out of your comfort zone.

Being off Seroquel though goes to show how quickly you can easily fall back to square 1. Honestly...the hell bit is going to dark places in my mind and the nightmares. Sleeping tablets gave me nightmares...Ironically they are called "kalms". Hahahaha. It felt I was being smothered by my own skin when I took them every night. I kept having nightmares of my friends dying....It scared me a little.

Although I do miss natural sleep. I really do. My last natural sleep was back in May before I was put on this AP. Maybe...MAYBE someday I'll be taken off them, slowly. But right now, I don't want to end up being sick off work again.

Work kept saying I needed to slow down. It's so frigging hard to slow down during this state.

My pdoc wants to increase my AP. She said I have BP1 and going through a manic stage. I wasn't expecting BP1. I'd rather I had a milder version to seem less crazy. But all I could do is accept it. Normal is boring.

If I have to be on meds for life. Well, it is what it is.

i certainly hear you on the sleep thing

i often joke that i sleep less than an imsomniac. (but the truth is, that describes my sleep to a t)

i've learnt that you have to joke sometimes about these things.. taking it all serious all the time isn't really that good

Bipolar II isn't a "milder version" on average people spend more time being depressed.

Hopefully you will come down and have a soft landing

ahhh I see! I just relapsed pretty badly lol

I've completely relapsed....Just had a few alcoholic drinks and took some mdma....:O

nah I try and not take it all serious. but I think its getting out of hand now

Crossing fingers for safe landing, have fun though.

And I hope what you're doing is not about punishing yourself for whatever reasons?