[Edgar's Mom]

So I had my first tx of ECT this past Friday, and then another today.

The first one was rough. I felt like someone took a baseball bat to my head. I woke up crying with a splitting headache. My temples were so sore it hurt to chew, and the day after all of the muscles in my neck and shoulders were so sore I could hardly move or swallow.

I saw my pdoc and told him, and had my second treatment today. It was a walk in the park. No headache waking up and no pain in my temples. I'll see if I stiffen up tomorrow, but based on today it seems much better.

Except emotionally I feel like absolute garbage. Like a step above suicidal. I feel like I'm going to cry, a sense of impending doom and a feeling that everything is hopeless. It's like the depression is so much worse after waking up. I'm not in crisis but almost wish my hubby were staying home with me tomorrow. I just feel devastated and a feeling of dread.

I hope your mood starts to improve soon

[Edgar's Mom]

Thank you Supanova :-) It's nice to know someone else is awake and listening... that helps. I wish I knew where it came from :-/ Not sure if ECT can cause this?

I have never had ECT and most people I know do it while inpatient to start with so they have the extra support until it starts to work.

Have you had any med changes? Sleep/appetite changes? Sometimes it does just come along but more often than not there is a trigger. Sometimes I find it helpful when I can find a reason too.

[raspberrytorte]

I hope you feel better soon, edgar'smom. Hugs.

[Slowbrains]

Very keen to see how you're doing with ECT. I consider it myself and my Pdoc keeps dropping me hints how safe it would be nowadays etc...

Could those emotions be something you've buried inside for far too long and now coming out?

Don't forget to post updates how it is going, i'm so curious.

[~Christina]

Hope everything goes smoothly !

[BeyondtheRainbow]

Hope you are feeling better after the most recent treatment. I'm surprised you are outpatient; my hospital usually has people IP for the first several rounds at a minimum.

Good luck to you with this treatment. It is one I have been interested in before but there was some reason it wasn't a good match. If I'm not feeling better when I see my pdoc the 21st I'm going to bring it up again though. (Not sure how it would be with the MAOI I'm on but I'm desperate and have few good med options so why not try this if there isn't a direct reason not to?)

[wildflowerchild25]

I had the horrible headache the first time. Then they prescribed tramadol to be given to me right before treatment. Never had a problem after that. Remember, for me it took 13 treatments before I felt even the slightest bit better. So it might just take a little time.

Good luck! I hope all future treatments go well.

[Edgar's Mom]

Originally Posted by Supanova

I have never had ECT and most people I know do it while inpatient to start with so they have the extra support until it starts to work.

Have you had any med changes? Sleep/appetite changes? Sometimes it does just come along but more often than not there is a trigger. Sometimes I find it helpful when I can find a reason too.

I have had a few med changes recently. My pdoc added Wellbutrin back in April as I was in a very deep depression after the whole work thing I spoke of in another thread. It had no effect.

After I'd tried it for a couple of months with no effect he put me on the list for ECT and started taking me off of Lamotrigine and Lithium.

I started by going down to half the dose of Lamotrigine, then I tapered off the Lithium and finally the last bit of Lamotrigine.

As soon as I started tapering off the Lithium I had immediate appetite changes. Like I have NO appetite now. It is a struggle to get in enough calories for the day. and I've been busy working hard at the new barn and riding almost every day. I've lost about 13 lbs so far.

I'm happy about it though, since being on Seroquel and Lamotrigine kept me about 30-40 lbs overweight. I'm still overweight so I'm not worried about the weight changes.

Still very depressed today, but after work and hanging out with my horse I feel a little better. I love him so much.

[Edgar's Mom]

Originally Posted by Slowbrains

Very keen to see how you're doing with ECT. I consider it myself and my Pdoc keeps dropping me hints how safe it would be nowadays etc...

Could those emotions be something you've buried inside for far too long and now coming out?

Don't forget to post updates how it is going, i'm so curious.

If you do a search, I posted a thread on here back when I first learned that I was going for ECT. I got some very helpful responses from people who'd had it as well as people who'd known others who had it.

I suppose anytime we have bad emotions they could be buried emotions coming out... I don't have any memories or that feeling I get when old stuff comes up, but it could be. I wouldn't rule it out.

More likely I wonder if it's a reaction to the meds they gave me. They changed it up and added a lot more muscle relaxant, I know that. I'm extremely sensitive to drugs and wouldn't be surprised if it's that...

[Edgar's Mom]

Originally Posted by BeyondtheRainbow

Hope you are feeling better after the most recent treatment. I'm surprised you are outpatient; my hospital usually has people IP for the first several rounds at a minimum.

Good luck to you with this treatment. It is one I have been interested in before but there was some reason it wasn't a good match. If I'm not feeling better when I see my pdoc the 21st I'm going to bring it up again though. (Not sure how it would be with the MAOI I'm on but I'm desperate and have few good med options so why not try this if there isn't a direct reason not to?)

Rainbow, I would have to be in the hospital for a long time as they are spread out a bit. I'm glad I don't have to stay there. I go there to check in and wait to go to the OR. It seems like a nice place but it reminds me of some not so happy hospital stays many years ago. I haven't been IP now for about 22 years and it would be very strange for me to go now.

I will let you know how mine goes, but I've read some very positive results from other people on this forum.

[Edgar's Mom]

Originally Posted by wildflowerchild25

I had the horrible headache the first time. Then they prescribed tramadol to be given to me right before treatment. Never had a problem after that. Remember, for me it took 13 treatments before I felt even the slightest bit better. So it might just take a little time.

Good luck! I hope all future treatments go well.

I remember you answering my first post about this Wildflowerchild :-)

They changed my meds after I described the pain after the first one and I think they added more muscle relaxant to the new cocktail. I didn't get the headache and I am still not stiff this time. By the second day after my last one I couldn't swallow without concentrating really hard.

I will be patient... I was just surprised that my mood took a nose dive after my treatment. I wonder if it was the new drugs...

Have you had to go back for follow up treatments?

[BeyondtheRainbow]

Yeah, people stay about 3-4 weeks when they get ECT where I go. Sometimes less and I'm sure sometimes more. If it becomes an option for me I'd need to be IP through as much of it as possible because the hospital is 2 hours away and I'd have to get someone to drive me that far 3 times per week for OP. I have no idea if it is an option but I want it on the table again. I have until the end of October to be re-admitted without another deductible and if something isn't effective as we near that time I want to do the drastic things then (ECT if it's an option would be one idea, going off Seroquel and starting clozaril the other). Both would mean being IP for a while. But it's time to talk about ECT and if there is any hope for it helping me. (I think last time it came up they felt my rapid cycling would interfere? something like that. And now I cycle a little less rapidly so maybe? The biggest thing would be that anesthesia is complicated on an MAOI and I've had one bad waking up from anesthesia experience but that was morphine, not really the anesthesia itself.)

Anything is worth a shot is my current stance of treatment.

Originally Posted by Edgar's Mom

Rainbow, I would have to be in the hospital for a long time as they are spread out a bit. I'm glad I don't have to stay there. I go there to check in and wait to go to the OR. It seems like a nice place but it reminds me of some not so happy hospital stays many years ago. I haven't been IP now for about 22 years and it would be very strange for me to go now.

I will let you know how mine goes, but I've read some very positive results from other people on this forum.

[Edgar's Mom]

My mom is flying out to help so my hubby doesn't have to take a bunch of time off work, so that helps me stay OP. And the hospital that does it is a 10 min drive. I get there at 6:45 and am gone by 9:00.

I hope you find some good options Rainbow... I know you've been having a tough time lately. ((((((((HUG))))))) I hope you find something that works for you soon.

[BeyondtheRainbow]

Thanks. I do too. I'm very close to just throwing in the towel and trying clozaril but if I do that I'm really committing myself because I'd be going off Seroquel which is the only thing that seems to be keeping me stabilized at all.

My next session on the 21st is just going to be everything on the table time. I can't do this much longer; it's been 9 months and that's just too long. I've been sicker but this is working on being one of my longest episodes ever and with so few treatment options it's overwhelming. I'd rather just go for something effective now than to keep trying things, especially things that could cause the same problems I just had. It's so hard when a med works and you can't take it and that's part of this depression; I feel hopeless about meds because loxapine did help but it also had side effects that weren't safe to continue.

I don't know, hopefully she pulls another rabbit out of her hat but I know there aren't many left in there.