How many people know?

Everyone knows because I've been IP so often. I can't hide disappearing for a week or more. No one's ever been nasty to my face about it so that's good. I don't know if they talk behind my back (referring to my late husband's family). Doesn't really matter.

I try to keep it out of work. I've told three coworkers about it. My administration know because I've had to take so much time off. I do know there have been many rumors though. One was that I tried to kill myself, which I didn't. That was nice.

I feel shame because I really feel that I should have more control over this than I do. I guess I have to try to accept that sometimes it's just not under my control.

Most friends and family, and a few people at work know about my bipolar. I used to worry about people knowing, but I don't really care anymore. Hopefully people knowing me, and that i have that diagnosis, can start to bring down the stigma. I do a little teaching for a nursing school, in the mental health section of their training, but that's as an experienced nurse, not as a patient. I've considered telling students to reduce stigma, but I haven't. I don't tell patients ever, that would be a boundary problem.

My wife and every damn physician in the city knows. "Regular" doctors have to be the worst people around for for believing in and promoting stigma and once they know, getting a diagnoses and treatment for a physical ailment is next to impossible.

Immediate family and they had to know. My boss at work bc I take days off because of symptoms and I don't want to get fired, I work in the field and she's a clinician so I feel very comfortable with her she boasted me up telling me I had more insight on how to help our persons. I don't advertise at all. Those people are really it. I'm not ashamed. I wear it like a ****ing badge of honor. We live with a type of pain that "regular" people don't. We struggle through our days when it seems hopeless but keep on going. It hurts like hell were in bed crying, manic erratic, anxious state of panic. Think of the strength it takes to deal with that every single day forever. And we do it because we have to. We were dealt a ****** hand in life but were battling it daily a good amount of days we lose the battle but we power through in our own ways.

I don't hide my MI from anyone. I'm not ashamed to have asthma so why would I be ashamed to be bipolar?

Heck even when it comes to all the abuse I've suffered I'm a pretty open book. It happened so why hide it? Plus if I don't like someone what a fun way to make them uncomfortable hehehe

This ^ I have people argue with me and say that I am fine, go off my meds.