Trusting Yourself

Soooooo....

Do you have trouble trusting yourself.....or your logic.....when you are contemplating change in your life?

I do. I can't seem to figure out what is the "real" me just wanting to improve my life ..... or if I'm being sabotaged by the old friend "hypo"

Frustrating....

My problem's just the opposite. It's not a question of trusting myself. When I'm mired in depression I can't contemplate change, even when I badly need to make it-- like starting to walk again. Of course I haven't been hypomanic for over 2 years. I know when I was/am I initiate changes w/o a thought to consequences. So I'd say if you're considering consequences of change, you can probably trust yourself.

YES

I tend to be nervous that I am "just doing one of my things".

Just recently I had a big issue with something that would have involved quitting something I couldn't go back to. I wrestled for a long time....decided to quit...totally committed to it...the night before I decided I was wavering way too much....

now a week later i am so glad that i didn't. things feel so right.

i have to keep reminding myself to WAIT for awhile. to see something in all different lights and days and moods and only THEN make a choice...or a move...or whatever.

I always tell myself and other people not to make big decisions when your head is messed up.

But it seems to go for me in the general dailiness of Bipolar too.

I just need to let things roll through for awhile

That soooooo sounds like me and what I do......I can make a decision backed up by what I think is really sound logic.........and then a few days later do a complete 180.

I think that is why I am so afraid of making ANY decision. It is a daily thing for me too.

Yes. Whether I'm contemplating something big or something small, I worry whether I have good judgment.

I do pretty well and I can retrospectively confirm that (excluding an episode) almost all of my decisions are made from a fine mental state. While almost none of them have been influenced by hypo/mania, almost all of them have existed momentarily under the fear that they might be.

It's not a debilitating self-doubt, but something that does cast a shadow over my thoughts quite often.

However, I figure that making good decisions after extra worry is better than making bad decisions with no concern! Sometimes that consideration is a bit of a burden, but the outcomes are better than the opposite.

-:-M

I don't think I've yet reached a place where I can stand on the edge of a desire and contemplate it thoroughly.

Typically I either have no desire to commit to anything, or I'm doing instead of contemplating.

So haven't really reached a stage of contemplating trusting myself yet.

It doesn't help that my family questions every decision I make. They assume my illness is at the root of every decision and question my ability to be logical or realistic. I consider making needed repairs on my car and they all go ohhhhhhhhhhhhhhh are you sure that's the right thing to do? I buy myself a small bbq and ohhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh you can't do that. I enter into a realationship ooooooooooooooooooooohhhh, I shouldn't be doing that with my illness. I shouldn't do this, I can't do that. Now, I went through a short rough patch with my BF a while back and while everything is looking bright again my family all assumed I must have done something wrong. I am just getting sick of this.

I trust my wife ... everything is run by her ...

Yes. mostly yes.

Good man. What a good good man.

Yes.

It makes me feel so ****ing Bipolar.

And in a kind of stereotypical way too.

When I'm manic, I've often thought "I want to do "xyz" and it's a bad idea but feels good so I'm going for it." Yikes

Well well it is funny you should mention this, old friend. I've had exactly one of those days, trying to make everything happen. I was out and about in all sorts of traffic, congestion, people here, people there in my way, stopping me from getting to my agenda for the day.

So my answer is "yes......all the time" since I've been known to sabotage my own future. I've always had problems just rolling with whatever life deals me and want to almost *force* things to get better (or to go the way I want them to go).

I have no answers or solutions.....it is frustrating.

Thank you all. It does help knowing I am not alone.

Being as old as I am....and with so many bad decisions....and chaotic messes to clean up after.....my lack of trust in my decision-making ability is almost crippling. And, usually causes me to spiral down into the "just give up and do nothing" category....which spirals down into complete apathy......and no desire to do anything...

I constantly question every thought and action as to if it is sane and ask a variety of people if I am rational

Perhaps the yardstick might be "is this reasonable, and can I reasonably achieve this?"

The only problem with that yardstick is that when you are "in the zone".....everything is reasonable

YES. omg yes this is the biggest problem for me as far as daily functioning. I have always (even before dx) been bad about having to ask for approval/validation from other people for my decisions. I used to think it was a weakness in that I couldn't make my own decisions but in retrospect I really think it was me compensating for my illness without even realizing it. now I just try to wait it out before making big decisions..wait a week or two and see if I feel the same. also I trust my husband completely to help if I need a quick answer.

Absolutely yes. Usually I change my mind often enough that it's difficult to actually follow through with a decision. I usually talk things over with some trusted friends to see if it makes sense. But if a full manic episode comes knocking all bets are off. The last time I walked away from a 6-figure job in the energy industry, burning bridges as I went, and justified every step and even had the future all planned out with an even better job, etc.

So, yeah, I don't always truly trust my decision making ability. My friends did learn how to recognize a manic episode in me though, so there is a plus side I guess.