[cashart10]

Today I told my mom that I have felt off the last couple days. I told her that today I feel like I'm driving around in another dimension or at least in another decade and that I am afraid to go home for an unexplained reason. About a half an hour later, my sister called and asked how I am doing. I just wanted to give her the standard "fine" answer but I could tell from her voice that she had spoken to my mom so I told her that I had been off the last couple of days.

This was the conversation that followed:

Her: Do you feel depressed?
Me: No
Her: Manic?
Me: I just feel very off; I don't know how best to explain it. I hope I just have PMS but I have no idea.
Her: *Bursts into laughter* You're about to start your period.
Me: What?
Her: I have it marked on my calendar.
Me: *Silence*
Her: Are you mad? Because you seem mad.
Me: No
Her: I started keeping track of it so I would know, if you started acting strange, if it was because of your period or something else going on.

Is it just me, or does that cross a line? I feel violated in some way. How did she even know when my period was? It's not like I advertise it. Did I mention it in crossing once and she just started keeping track? I have no idea.

Then, a little after that, my mom called me and, after talking a few minutes she told me I needed to go home, take a PRN, and call my doctor. I feel blindsighted, confused, angry, and completely unsettled today. I don't know what is wrong.

[nowIgetit]

I get really bad PMS, always have, it got worse as I got older, I had a PMDD dx in my twenties. Later after my BP dx my pdoc said BP symptoms in women tend to be exacerbated by hormonal changes, ie menstrual cycle, menopause, childbirth, breastfeeding. That has certainly been true for me. I would DEFINITELY feel violated or at least uncomfortable with my sister having done that, especially if I really had PMS since my anger and irritability tend to be worse around that time definitely can warrant at least a call to your doc and/or a PRN. I'm sorry you are feeling this way.

[BeyondtheRainbow]

I would be really, really uncomfortable with my family tracking, thinking or talking about my periods. That crosses a line for me. If they felt you had more symptoms around the time you have PMS they should just say that to you and let you monitor/manage it how you want to.

As far as your feeling off, hormones are evil things for bipolar women and I'm so glad that I don't have to deal with that so much anymore because it made things so much better when I didn't have a monthly internal trigger. So I'm sure it can be the cause of problems and I hope that it is something transient like that, even though I know it has to be scary waiting to see what happens.

I don't know if you need to call the dr or not; I think that only you know how you feel and if you should call now or wait a few more days to see while carefully monitoring and keeping your husband in the loop. I know that's a hard decision and I almost always let my dr know, just in case.

[Victoria'smom]

Derealization

Um yeah I would be super creeped out if my sister started keeping track of my periods. Are you two in sync, and that's why she knows? That's the only way I can explain it beyond her rooting through your trash. It's weird.
But I would listen to your mom. Go home, take a PRN, maybe a hot bath....something soothing. I never had issues with PMS until my first manic episode; now I get super emotional and teary once a month. Hopefully it will pass. Mention it to your pdoc the next time.

[scatterbrained04]

I would feel creeped out and violated for sure.

[nowIgetit]

ugh and now that I just saw the term derealization I realize that is totally one of my symptoms especially around PMS, I never knew it was a "thing" beyond "feeling weird and out of it." Ugh sometimes I wish I could go back to before I knew anything about mental health.

[Nammu]

Maybe I'm just weird but I think it's kind of nice your family takes thing so seriously. They are listening and know these things are serious and physical. If I called my sister I'd get told to pull up the boot straps. My mom wouldn't say anything but worry 24/7 until I was fine.

It is kind of weird but in a nice way. It's like she cares enough to want to be able to tell if the symptoms are greater because of the PMS. Can you ask her about it and if it bothers you too much tell her you rather she didn't do that.

you should ask to be assessed for PMDD. I don't know if things have improved since I struggled with that issue but maybe the medical world has wised up to hormonal changes, BP, and medicine interactions.

[Trippin2.0]

I'm with SS, while it may seem intrusive, it came from a good place, this monster doesn't only affect us.


So IMO, I think its kinda weirdly awesome that she even knows to check for the difference between BP and hormones, because that way they know if there's cause for worry or not.


Its good to have people looking out for us, especially when so many of us tend to lose insight.


Many people just don't give a damn, count yourself lucky your sister cares about you.

I've never been one to keep things hush hush. It's just a fact of life to me. Perhaps it's too much information but I don't hide it. Then again, I don't advertise it either.

Still, what your sister has admitted to doing is way over the line. Does she do the same with her friends I wonder?

[gina_re]

I would be pissed off and tell her that she's very creepy...just like her son says. Either way it aint right, but I can understand the concern for your well being. Kind of a catch22

[hopeless2015]

I get horrible pms, not sure how I'd feel if others were tracking but also think it comes from a Good place...

Sent from my XT1058 using Tapatalk

[BipolaRNurse]

My mother used to track my periods along with her own. I guess she just wanted a heads-up as to when to expect the monthly game of Let's Make A Mess. I used to have really bad PMS but it got better when I went into perimenopause. Of course by that time my bipolar was emerging so I never really got a break from the mood swings, but that's a whole other story.

[WibblyWobbly]

It depends on how close you are, I suppose. I think it's coming from a good place. My twin sister is normally the sweetest person, but around her period she becomes highly paranoid and belligerent. I have been sucked into many arguments where halfway through I asked, "Wait, are you PMSing?" and she would realize she was and the conversation would end in giggles. We are very close and since her hormones have been such an issue I know she wouldn't mind if I went the extra mile and tracked it on a calendar.

It seems like she is trying to understand your symptoms. I think it's nice that she cares so much, but if you feel it's intrusive you should tell her to leave you alone.

I don't think it is creepy in your situation. You seem very close and you discuss your BP. I can see why it is disconcerting, but I think she just cares for you.

[99 FAIRIES]

My period is 3 months late due to invega injection. And I quit it two months ago but still no period. Hmmmmm....

[cashart10]

Thank you for all of your responses. I will try to address them all right now. My sister and I are very close. She is almost 11 years older than me and at times has acted as much like a mother to me as she has as a sister. She is also the biggest advocate for me. She has been to many doctor's appointments and has at times intervened, telling my husband and doctor she thinks I should be hospitalized or that I need med adjustments.

Still, this felt very awkward and strange to me. She called me yesterday evening and asked me why there was silence when she told me. I told her it had been awkward. She said that once this summer, after I had been doing well for a period of time, I became extremely weepy and unsettled. She said I told her the next day that it turned out I had PMS and wasn't aware. She said she knew I was usually fairly regular so she decided to keep track.

That makes me feel better. I did tell her next time to just suggest I keep closer watch instead of doing it for me.