Counting down the days!

I sometimes think about how many more years of life I have left. It's almost like I'm counting down the days until this nightmare is over. I know it's wrong to feel that way and that life is precious, but it gets to be unbearable at times. . Anyone else feel this way?

I get that way sometimes. It helps me to stop and think about the things I want to live to see. For me, that would be seeing my son grow up and have a family of his own. I want to be there for that.

Yeah. I've definitely felt that way in the past. During my last depression episode I used to look at the calender on my phone and get overwhelmed by all of the months and years ahead of me. Luckily the feeling passed. It will for you too, even if it doesn't feel that way now.

I totally understand that sentiment. I get really tired of the daily struggle.

But, sometimes, I get the opposite feeling. Like I'm running out of time to get it right...or at least better.....I'm older. And have pretty much screwed up my 'one shot at life'....not sure I'm gonna get the brokenness fixed before I run out of time....

I do the same. I feel like I'm on the back stretch so I don't feel like I have that much to look forward to. Time is winding down and I don't enjoy very much of it anymore.

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last summer it seemed like tomorrow was a hundred years away ... time just drug by and did not know how I would ever be able to deal with it ...
My depression has lifted now and it seems my life is going by so fast I worry it will be over too soon .... our mind are funny things ... but the one thing I believe is there will be a change ... hang on it will come ...

Yes, quite often. I'm either waiting for life to end, or waiting for it to begin, and wondering which it will be. Most of the time I'm wondering if I'm going to come Out of this pit, or be Buried in it. The challenge for me is the struggle to remain hopeful that I'll come out on the other side of this!

I do this a lot since I was told I would be dead before I turn 55. Well I will be 55 on Dec. 15 and anything after that will always feel like I'm living on borrowed time. But there is the possibility that I will just be very thankful for each and every day and I am planning on starting with a big Black Forest birthday cake, I will be in eating heaven while I dig into that.

I still can't say how things will go but I'm hoping for the best and expecting the worst.

I sort of died some years ago. It was an overdose, and I had an experience that is beyond science, as far as I know. I never talk about it with therapists or pdocs because there's no point, really.

However it left me with two firm conclusions:

1. If you're here, you're meant to be here. You're meant to grow in some way, with all of the days that you will have. It's important to stick it out for as long as you can.

2. Death isn't something to be afraid of, and it's also not the end. But it's very important to go at your natural time.

So I would advise anyone to just hang tight and let come what may.

It just speaks to the awfulness if the illness when you look forward to death at times. This illness sucks so bad!!!

I get this feeling often. I'm the sort who has a deadline for personal success, and if I don't make that deadline.... x_x i'm reaallllyyy close to that deadline. It sucks getting sucked into this thought-trap.

Preach! I see where you're coming from.

Preach! I see where you're coming from.