[boogiesmash]

To this point I haven't really thought of what makes me depressed or sad or down. I figured it was part of the bipolar cycle. As I'm writing this I'm in tears over my thoughts for the day. I first thought of a coworker who was a close friend and we had an incident that ruined our friendship and she treated me like s@!& during my worse period and when I hit rock bottom. She was indirectly the main reason that I was rejected at applying for my dream job. When I hit bottom I was on the verge of oding on sleeping and pain pills. I then thought of that and how much it hurt, I then thought of how financially unstable I am and how hard it has been to break even. I thought of how long it has been since I was in a relationship and how I look, and weight I have gained. I then had thoughts of who would show up at my funeral and the casket and whether at would be soon. I started crying and feeling destroyed and broken.

I just want to win, but it's been so long since I was on top and I'm getting old.

I feel for you. I also lost a dream job because of a friend that I wanted to be near. That didnt turn out very well for me either. I hope that you can find the comfort you so deserve soon. I do believe that there is someone for everyone. It is just a matter of finding that 'one'. Good luck. If I can help in any way let me know.

[gina_re]

That is completely frustrating when our coworkers have that kind of power. I'm sorry you had to go through this and you're feeling this way. I've lost plenty of friendships with coworkers and then the regret makes me feel worse. So I feel your pain. But as long as you have the attitude that you can and will achieve greatness, it will happen. I know easier said than done, but it is doable. If you're doing everything you can and no results, maybe a med adjustment can help. Either way, you're going to get through this. I got your back!

Have you done CBT? This could practically cure many of the problems you have posted about, if used.

Thoughts only have power if we give it to them. With people with milder illness, the thought patterns can be changed and thoughts can be looked at in a positive light.

[boogiesmash]

Originally Posted by Supanova

Have you done CBT? This could practically cure many of the problems you have posted about, if used.

Thoughts only have power if we give it to them. With people with milder illness, the thought patterns can be changed and thoughts can be looked at in a positive light.

I see a psychologist is that the same thing?