[HALLIEBETH87]

I feel like a big burden. I even feel guilty for posting here. I feel so stupid I gave in impulsively twice and now my mind just craves it. Im supposed to call my DBT t if things go amuck but I still feel too much of a burden to bother her. She's lectured and assured me otherwise but still.

Im afraid Im falling back into old habits. Now that Ive done it already i dint really care anymore

[sui generis]

I've felt like this too. It is soooo hard for me to ask for help and support when I need it for the same reason, I feel like a burden. However I've forced myself this semester to get help when I need and it is really hard but when I did I felt a lot better. Since your dbt t has told you that it is fine to contact her when things are getting bad then do so. Ive read some of your previous posts and it's clear to me that you're in a lot of pain and things are difficult at the moment. I think your dbt t would agree and if she knew, she would probably really like you to contact her.

Keep us updated and keep safe

[HALLIEBETH87]

I saw her yesterday but she doesn't know about the self-harm.

Ive been trying skills but these times were complete impulsive! I just did it then got mad at myself. So after I did it I didn't call because it was already done. :/

I did NOT allow myself to buy razors.

But the scratching is bad.

[Victoria'smom]

Please call her I impulsively hurt myself recently. The impulsive only get worse without being in check.

[HALLIEBETH87]

I can just talk to her next Wednesday. I put it honestly on my DBT diary card so shes gonna see it :/

I didn't do bad. Itll probably heal before I even see her. I put Neosporin on it.

Im angry with myself but I also don't care cause I still have intrusive thoughts and urges.

[Victoria'smom]

stay safe. You know that scratches turn into deeper and deeper cuts. Try not to be angry with yourself this is a huge change.

[Pastel Kitten]

I can definitely relate. I'm trying to train myself to ask for help more, because there really is no shame in admitting you need it. I know it can be discouraging when you fall back into old habits, but don't let that fool you into thinking you haven't made progress. Think of it as a "bump" in the journey.

[HALLIEBETH87]

I'm so easily annoyed andnpissy today!!

Gah!!!!!

[Pastel Kitten]

Originally Posted by HALLIEBETH87

I'm so easily annoyed andnpissy today!!

Gah!!!!!

Days like this definitely suck, I know. But remember that you are allowed to feel upset. I mean, the other week I got angry that my boyfriend purchased a comic book that I didn't like. Ridiculous, right?? It made me so angry though..and then I got angry at being angry.

[WibblyWobbly]

Have you tried grounding yourself with a piece of ice when you get the urge to SH? Hold it and go through the same grounding routine as you would with anything else. It's cold, it's wet, shape, size, color, texture etc. The coldness helps snap you back but also kind of feeds the SH urge without physically hurting you. We did this IP at a PTSD program where SH was very common.

[HALLIEBETH87]

Yes I have. Yy

[HALLIEBETH87]

I spent almost all day with a good friend and managed to stay in a decent mood

[99 FAIRIES]

I gave into my urges just a few days ago. Now my husband has my razors locked up. I was very disappointed in myself afterwards. But anyway.... I know how strong the urges can be and I feel for you. Try and stay safe.