Crying in my car

Just pulled over on the street, sitting crying in my car. Trying to pull it together. I was just at a one year old's birthday party for a close friend's daughter. I was the only adult there with no kids. My boyfriend dumped me a couple weeks ago, but keeps texting confusing mixed messages, and left me a kind of awful 6 page letter. I'm crashing from hypomania too. It's all too much. I'm going to another little get together, and i'm outside a restaurant, trying to calm myself to go in and pick up take out that I'm bringing to tonight. I'm so miserable, and it feels like i have to claw my way up a mountain to get out of this, and i'm so tired of mood cycling, and dating, and i just don't know. I know i have a pretty good life, and i was happy a few weeks ago, but that seems so faint and far away. It's so unfair, how much pain, i just keep trying. I know life isn't fair, and i should be grateful for a nice apartment and a good job, and having beaten addictions, and my friends. I am grateful for these things. It just really sucks right now.

Coming off of a breakup would be hard for anyone. Maybe right now you shouldn't talk to your ex so you can take your own time to heal, especially if he is sending mixed messages. It's ok to be upset right now. Allow yourself to feel the anger and pain of the breakup. Try not to be so hard on yourself right now. You're going through a lot. Easier said than done I know.

I know exactly how you feel because I'm there. Cry it out and don't be so hard on yourself.

I hope you're feeling better now. Big hugs.

One of the hardest things to do is being kind to ourselves. You've been though alot. Please take care. Hugs

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It's ok to cry and let it out, so long as you remember not to be too hard on yourself for doing so. I know these mood changes are difficult and with what has been going on in your life, it's perfectly understandable for you to feel this way. I hope you're feeling better.

I think it's really ****** that he left while you're unwell. Unfortunately your the one that needs to set a strong boundary so that you can either fix it or grieve. How was the get together? Can you take a day just to pamper yourself? I'm really sorry that this is all hitting you at once. stay safe okay?

I'm feeling a little better this morning, a bit numb though. Last night was a sleep over at a friend from work, with 2 other girls from work. We ate a ton of food, had some drinks, and watched a couple movies. Unfortunately he started texting late into the evening, and i'd had a few drinks, so texted back some angry texts, and then some sad texts. I wanted to go, but had to stay because i have my car here and couldn't drive. So i went to sleep, and cuddled with her dog all night. I'm glad i didn't drink too much, so not hung over, just tired. He's at my place cat sitting over night. So i'm not sure if he'll be there, probably, because he wants to talk. Although my therapist thinks talking to him isn't the best idea. Idk, just going to have breakfast with my friends and go from there.