[Pastel Kitten]

Yesterday, I was sure I had crashed into a depressive episode. I'd been hypomanic all week, and particularly jittery the day before yesterday, but suddenly woke up feeling lethargic and a bit on edge. I spent hours calling various clinics (still in search of a psychiatrist - although I think I may have finally landed myself an appointment for next month) and found myself breaking down constantly, crying, feeling hopeless, etc. That lasted all day. I woke up feeling highly energetic and motivated again, as if none of that had happened, continued with my psychiatrist search, and all was well. I guess depressive symptoms can be mixed into hypomania along with the irritability, from what my counselor told me. I'm still new to keeping track of my mood. Does this happen to anyone else too? Maybe my hypomania simply further intensified my already-existent frustration at not being able to find a psychiatrist the second I wanted one. For all I know, these short moments of depression could have been mixed into my hypomanic episodes all of this time for years, and I've just never realized it before since I only recently started keeping track of my mood. On another note, I did a ton of cleaning and took a nice (fast) walk down to my pharmacy today, smiling the whole way. People looked at me weirdly, but I didn't care! lol

[Skeezyks]

Hello Pastel Kitten: I'm no expert on such things... but I see no reason why depressive episodes couldn't be mixed with hypomania... & irritability as well. It's also possible that there are physical aspects to your fluctuating moods. I was watching the latest segment of: "The Brain with David Eagleman" on our local PBS TV station last night. And one of the things Eagleman, who is a brain researcher, talked about is how decisions we make are subtly influenced by aspects of our physiology. For example, he talked about one study that showed that whether or not a prisoner was granted parole was influenced by whether or not the judge had had lunch! If the judge was hungry, parole was less likely to be granted than if the judge had eaten!

Anyway, I'm glad to read that you were able to accomplish all of that cleaning as well as to take that nice walk. I walk quite a bit & find that it is a great help.

[cashart10]

I have been very manic lately...although now sleeping much more due to being drugged out. I have now reached extremely high anxiety and paranoia which makes me want to run away and often does make me cry, even sob. It is not always pleasant.

[wildflowerchild25]

I have the same thing except opposite poles. I was in a depressed episode and had two days of hypomania before crashing back into depression. So I do think your mood can switch for a day or two in the midst of an episode. I determine the episode by how I feel most of the time.

[cashart10]

Possible trigger:

I am also MUCH more suicidal when mania goes badly than I am when depressed.

It can go very poorly. I hope you stay on the positive side of things from here on.

[Running-on-Rainbows]

I'm glad you were able to clean and take a walk. I try to walk at least twice a week. I have had mixed states of hypomania and depression. It's a very strange feeling. I'll be jittery and restless while at the same time, drained and depressed. Then I'll either crash into depression, or I will get very irritable and scattered which would be my hypomania, so yes, it happens.

[Pastel Kitten]

Thanks everyone. I'm feeling confused because once again I feel like I've landed back into what feels like the beginning of depression. I felt good this morning but out of nowhere I felt the "heaviness" and hopelessness begin to creep up on me, and it's stayed this way for hours now. The worst is that several times I've wanted to cry and I feel it's just kind of "stuck." I feel more zombie-like than full-out depressed right now, but I feel it could very well escalate into that. I've been trying to distract myself with various things, but nothing seems fun anymore. I guess I'll have to see how I feel later tonight and when I wake up. Gah...it's not fun having to guess what you'll be like when you wake up.