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  #1  
Old Nov 04, 2015, 08:06 AM
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kimber1234 kimber1234 is offline
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Member Since: Jul 2015
Location: VA
Posts: 76
I've started this post so many times and have been working on it for 45 minutes now. As I keep writing I realize just how fast you can spiral down. To my bosses yesterday I was just fine. I was super tired last week I was achy and thought I had was getting the flu so I took a couple of days off. Now I recognize it was a warning sign of so many that I've ignored. When I saw my pdoc yesterday, she called me out just by asking the basic "are you depressed or manic?" questions

I put on a mean game face. Today, now that the scab has been picked, I don't know how well I can put that game face on. I know I'll go farther down before I go up. We increased my wellbuturin which will hopefully help, but I just can't do my job well... I have so much more to say... I just feel so inept. As a teacher, there is no "not doing your job."

I really need support.
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Kimber

Dx- Bipolar 1, General Anxiety

Meds: 800 seroquel, 300 lamictal, 20 prozac, 150 wellbutrin, 600mg x3 Gabapentin, Synthroid, (Crestor, Tricor, and Metformin to counteract it all.)

"It's ok to not know all the answers. It's better to admit our ignorance than to believe answers that might be wrong. Pretending to know everything closes the door to finding out what's really out there."
--Neil Degrasee-Tyson
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  #2  
Old Nov 04, 2015, 08:39 AM
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Mountainbard Mountainbard is offline
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I'm sorry you're struggling so right now. I taught for years and I know how hard it can be to keep that game face on. I hope that the increase in the Wellbutrin will help. Meanwhile keep posting here. You are not alone.
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Dx Bipolar II 2014 -- currently in remission

Stay calm, be kind, have hope, love lots, and be well.

"Listen to the deep voice of your soul. Do not be distracted by the voice of your mind." -- Caitlin Matthews[/B][/COLOR][/SIZE]
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  #3  
Old Nov 04, 2015, 08:49 AM
Anonymous48690
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Oh Hun, I'm sorry for you. Hopefully the med increase will level you out long before you reach the dreaded low spot....I think it will.

It's so hard to smile when feeling awful, but it's for your students we must try. At times like this I'd be the last in and the first to go if possible.

Hang in there, the weekend is almost here.

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  #4  
Old Nov 04, 2015, 01:37 PM
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wildflowerchild25 wildflowerchild25 is offline
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Member Since: Mar 2013
Location: NJ
Posts: 6,434
I'm sorry you have been feeling this way. I've been feeling down for a month now. I am a teacher too so I know what you mean about doing your job. I feel like such a failure at mine right now. I feel like my kids are learning nothing. I don't know how much of that is true or not but I know how hard it is to keep that "game face" on.

I hope you feel better soon!
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Of course it is happening inside your head. But why on earth should that mean that it is not real?
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That’s life. If nothing else, that is life. It’s real. Sometimes it
f—-ing hurts. But it’s sort of all we have.
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  #5  
Old Nov 04, 2015, 02:01 PM
Unrigged64072835 Unrigged64072835 is offline
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I do hope the Med change works out for you. Give yourself a lot of gentle self-care right now. You can't take care of others if you don't take care of yourself.

Last edited by Unrigged64072835; Nov 04, 2015 at 04:40 PM.
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  #6  
Old Nov 04, 2015, 02:27 PM
avlady avlady is offline
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Location: angola ny
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it's so true you can't take care of others until you take care of yourself first. i do hope and pray you feel better soon good luck
  #7  
Old Nov 04, 2015, 07:58 PM
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Pastel Kitten Pastel Kitten is offline
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Member Since: Oct 2015
Location: South Carolina
Posts: 972
I hope things get better for you soon. It can be very strenuous having to feign being okay when you feel the total opposite. Best of luck to you
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Spiraling Down- looking for support

Dx: BPD, OCD, GAD, and PTSD traits
Rx: Lamictal 200mg and 0.5mg Ativan as needed



"Now I can see all the colors that you see."
  #8  
Old Nov 04, 2015, 08:58 PM
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Cocosurviving Cocosurviving is offline
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Location: Muscogee (Creek) Nation Reservation
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Posting here is great. Consider a support group... in my city they usually meet at 6 or 7 PM. There's are organizations called NAMI and DBSA they have them. You can Google them

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