Bipolar disorders+psychedelics+psychosis

I am interested in hearing about other people with bipolar's experiences with psychedelic use. What was the outcome? Psychological benefit? Mania? Psychosis?

I'd also like to share my story for feedback:
I am now, at age 22, diagnosed with Bipolar type 1 disorder. My depression morphed into something else when I was 16: I began showing signs of mania/hypomania. I first suspected bipolar disorder when I was 18 when a teacher hinted that I could be bipolar. I read about it and identified with the symptoms.

As a teenager I used a lot of drugs and alcohol to self medicate, mostly just pot and alcohol. But when I went away to college I had easy access to an abundance of psychedelics (mushrooms and lsd). I hadn't tried psychedelics before and I fell in love with them. I must have done them at least 20 times during my freshman year. I was fearless and did huge amounts. I became very psychotic. I think anyone would become psychotic with that amount of psychedelics use. My friends who tripped as much as I did didn't get as delusional as I did though.

I thought I had been abducted by aliens, that I was an alien spacecraft, that I was lost in another universe, that all the people I saw were either robots or aliens in human form, and that I was on my way to hell unless I stopped using drugs. I also often thought I was dead. I'm curious if anyone could be driven to be this psychotic with extreme psychedelics use alone, or if it only happens in people with an underlying mental illness.
Things got scary that first year. I remember one really bad night I slept in the woods on campus by myself on a cold school night because I felt like the days were too much the same.
I got sober that summer and was sober for 6 months. I was persistently psychotic during this period. I still thought people were actually aliens and robots. I thought I was lost in space and was an alien spacecraft. I thought people could read my thoughts. I thought my crush was really me in the form of a man. I thought I was going to be reincarnated into a cat for being bad and I made my roommate remove cat pictures she had posted on the fridge because they scared me. I was freaked out when my roommates put googely eyes on everything because I thought I was being watched. These delusions happened on an intense level 6 months after I used any substance (I relapsed on psychedelics eventually and the full blown psychosis continued, fueled mainly by pot and alcohol.) I'm not sure what my roommates were thinking at this point. I was very open with these delusions and I often told them I thought I was bipolar. I sought an evaluation at school once but didn't go back so I didn't get much help. I guess my roommates just thought I did too many drugs.

I graduated after two years at that college and moved home because I felt like things were too crazy around that college. As the year progressed the intense delusions eased up but didn't disappear. I'd say at this point (my second year home and away from college) I can look back and see how out of touch with reality I really was. I've definitely had serious mood episodes and legal troubles this past year but any psychotic thoughts were mild in comparison to my two years at college. Now I'm on lithium and lamotrigine and life is quite a bit better. I was finally diagnosed this past summer.

Okay sorry for the rant. I'd also love to hear your experiences with psychosis and/or psychedelic use.

I don't have much experience with psychedelics. I mostly use weed and used to heavily self-medicate with alcohol.

I tried mushrooms once, but because I'm "crazy" my friends purposefully gave me a very, very small dose which didn't do anything.

But I did experiment with Robotripping when I was 19. The last time I did this, I kind of freaked out a bit. My druggy friend compared what she saw as basically the equivalent of taking acid and speed at the same time, and though I've never done either, I'd have to say she was probably right. My heart was racing and I could literally see it beating a million times a second through my chest. It was the only time in my life (outside of sleep paralysis) that I have hallucinated.

But when all was said and done, I returned to normal. No residual psychosis or mood swings or anything. My psychosis comes in the form of paranoid delusions, not hallucination. So, maybe that's why?

I used to feel the same way on my first Mania which got very severe.

I felt that I was dead and was sentenced to hell fire. All human beings including my family looked angel/demon in human form to me.

I was able to use drugs in college and never had any periods of psychosis. I would trip, then come down.

I had my first psychotic episode around 4 yrs ago. I have done mushrooms a couple times since then and came down fine.

Done psychedelics, was psychotic for a period. Though, I don't relate the psychotic episode to the psychedelics. I did psychedelics long after and was fine.

I'm curious about cocaine and whether it's dangerous in terms of triggering a manic state. I'm about to visit a friend in Amsterdam and want to try some cocaine, just hope it won't trigger anything out of proportion.

Cocaine never triggered mania with me. Neither have shrooms, which I tried maybe 3 times. Marijuana has induced psychosis, so I stay away from it, at least for now. The few times I have tried shrooms, I absolutely loved it. To me, it was like a short-lived hypomania, I only tried maybe 2 grams, I didn't hallucinate or anything, just saw colors very vividly, music was very intense, trees were amazing to look at. I believe magic mushrooms even helped with my depression freshman year. I opened up, and seemed to improve in my communication for the time. After I tried shrooms the first time, I even ended up in a girls dorm, I don't even know how it happened.
I would love to try it again, but idk.
As for lsd, I am afraid to touch that. I don't know if I'd be able to handle it and fear a bad trip. I've never had a bad trip on shrooms.
I have read much on Timothy Leary and when they were experimenting with psychedelics to improve mental health issues such as depression and whatnot. It's amazing what they can do. He said the first time he tried shrooms, in 5 hours he written two books, and discovered more about himself then he had his whole life up to that point. If interested, it's a good read.

There are lots of conversations and stuff about LSD doing same thing for people, open doors and help them in self growth. I think meditation and this area of teaching comes to similar insights more naturally though. LSD can be very intense and might have bad impact on one's mental wellbeing because you cannot simply 'stop it' or go to sleep, at least in my experience it's always about 8 hours on average.

I had a huge dosage of psilocybin cubensis, was one of the most amazing experiences of my life, did not cause me any problems. I might be an anomaly with that, though.

I did most weed and speed in college with a few times of mushrooms. The weed gave me a good feeling but nothing beyond that. Speed just made me lose my appetite. The mushrooms did nothing I've always suspected they weren't real although the others doing them claimed to be affected. I hated alcohol. I was on the fringes of drug use and didn't have access to stuff like lad but had I, I would have tried it becaus of Leary. I didn't seek it out and the opportunity never arose now I wonder if that was a good thing.

The psychotic stuff didn't happen till I was 28, many years later. I've found more of a link between loss of weight and not eating being the trigger to psychotic episodes.

I was a stupid teenager and did dumb stuff like drink cough syrup with DXM in it to get high. Only did it for a little while before I had a major wake up call. I drank 2 small bottles of it, blacked out, faded in and out of consciousness with pain in my chest and trouble breathing, not able to stand up, thought cindy laupher was in my room, talked but I wasn't even speaking any language it was a bunch of nonsense psychosis and I couldn't control myself. Stayed f'd up for a week before I started feeling somewhat normal again. Never again. I did smoke weed a few times, it was usually enjoyable but sometimes I got really paranoid. That's all I really have any experience with.... I would advise staying away from any mind altering stuff, it's just too risky...I have a few drinks now and then on holidays and stuff now that I'm 21 but that's about it.

Mushrooms & dxm were some of the most uncomfortable experiences Ive had with substances. I have had open eye hallucinations on both & also with too much cannabis. Not trusting the world around me was horrible. All I wanted was to be sober again.

Methamphetamine strangly never sent me into mania per se but did bring on some very intense suspicious thoughts that lasted beyond the drug use, delusions of infedality.

Cocaine is very bad for Bipolars as is anything speedy.

I should clarify. I was never manic in need of hospitalisation. I was however concocting plans to become a cook with ingredients brought from Bunnings at one stage. All very poor decision making on my behalf for a long time so I would also advise against cocaine or any form of amphetamine, particular for bipolar 1.

I have been manic and took something but never took something and it caused mania.