strange side effect ...

woke this am early just having a full blown race with my mind about some work I have been doing lately ... trying many new computer distro's ... so as is my custom I popped a xanex ... it worked ... but the strange thing is I got complete clarity on the problem that was nailing me and found a resolution ... it was like my mind was crunching the data at too fast a speed to be of use but the benzo slowed it down so my conscience mind could understand it .... first time my racing has had a sort of "subject" and first time a positive result ... wish I knew how to use this to my everyday benefit .... like the twilight zone ... "strange but true" ...

Wow, that's really cool!

Don't you wish it always worked out this way... congratulations!

I had a longterm patient who used to laugh at me because she said everything came to me in my sleep (really everything came to me after my klonopin and seroquel doses before I was asleep). She said every time I would tell her I wasn't sure what to do but would think about it the next day I'd tel her I was in bed almost asleep and the best idea came to me, or that I woke up and knew what to do! I think it was the only time my mind slowed down enough while I was working for real thinking to happen but I would never have noticed if she hadn't said something about it a number of times. Meds are soooo good sometimes and sooooo bad sometimes......

This happens to me too. This is why I dread going to sleep sometimes. I solve a lot of "problems" and come to a lot of conclusions or resolutions when I am in that twilight zone. And once I figure it out, there is no going back.

I have a lot of nightmares as well.

I used to have a lot of nightmares although I think it was PTSD and not the meds. Now that I've completed extensive PTSD therapy I have nightmares mostly when manic, just when I get that little burst of sleep that lets you know you can live through tomorrow. But I had a sleep study done to see if my asthma was also causing sleep apnea and found out that I get very, very little REM sleep (20% of normal I think) so any dreams that I remember are pretty rare and while I do dream it's not nearly as much as most people. Which is why I'm tired all the time, in part...

When it is worst is when I have a big list of things to accomplish and my brain wants to use that "slow time" to solve all of them and that keeps me awake.