Worrying about my paranoia and frustrated over it

I am really frustrated with my paranoia. I really wish I didn’t get paranoid and I could have a somewhat happy fulfilling life. I’m not depressed anymore. I sometimes feel sad. Maybe once or twice a week. Lately I’ve been scared to do little things. Yesterday I was scared to go to two stores for my mom’s birthday. I think I was scared because I’ve gotten paranoid at one of the stores before. I am afraid to do things on my own. Some movies scare me. PG-13 movies scare me sometimes. I used to never be scared of movies. I used to be always really calm when I would watch movies. I saw Creed on Sunday, (It’s a boxing movie) and I got paranoid after. I had an anxious/scared feeling to be in the bathroom around people, I also got scared to be around people, I then went to get a Christmas tree and a lot of people were at Costco and it was overwhelming for me, I felt scared and uneasy. I don’t have specific thoughts when I get paranoid anymore. I used to think people were going to attack me, hurt me, chase me and all kinds of ****. On Sunday, I felt suspicious of certain things. Like these people in a parking lot. I was scared to wait for my dad at REI in the parking lot. I’m just sick of my paranoia. I went through a 7 week outpatient program and I’ve gotten a lot better. Today, I just discharged. I need to find ways to not worry about my paranoia that much. For a week or so I didn’t worry about my paranoia. I went 8 days without getting paranoid. I need better ways to cope with it. I do reality testing like I tell myself I’m safe and question what is happening. Maybe you guys can help me. How to worry less, how to cope better with my paranoia, and be in peace. I’m really excited for the new Star Wars movie but I’m worrying that I’ll get paranoid during it or after it. I just really want to enjoy it. I just don’t want that movie to scare me too. I get scared pretty easily over dumb things. I take 120 mg of Latuda and 4 mgs of Risperdal for my paranoia. It doesn’t help 100%.

What scares you in movies? I'm just curious.

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I'm a paranoid person with strangers, especially men. I use to be scared of everything. Especially the dark. After living on my own and seeing an electric bill of 200 from light on in every room i had no choice but to learn to deal with it. I still get scared of dark at times but i have neighbors on other side of the walls who im close to and would come running if i screamed. So that helps. The only bad fear i have is mirrors. I hate looking in them in fear there will be something other then my reflection. At night i stand to the side when i open my medicine cabinet. I still get paranoid of closets, under the bed and clowns. Its a horrible feeling being scared all the time. I also worry about my cats getting sick, my fish tanks leaking or the fish getting sick. And web md is not my friend. So I can understand. Unfortunately i have no answers because as my step father says I'm scared of everything. But over time (im 32) it got a little better in a few areas. The fears didn't go away but I try to push through them. I hope my response helped!

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I don't have much advice, but I related to what you write so much. Paranoia is awful and I basically never watch movies anymore (or the news or crime shows on Tv or anything) because I think it makes my paranoia worse, like a trigger.
I really want to see Star Wars too though!

I too feel your pain. I find myself unable to do things because it makes me nervous or anxious or paranoid. Large crowds usually cause problems for me. In my work, I must go to people's homes and business whom I don't know. I usually have to push myself to get out the door. I think it may be that I am scared for failing at what I do. I usually don't fail however, so i am unsure of where it comes from. Most of the time I just have to force myself to do everything when I am depressive or anxious. Just do it. Sorry I don't have a good answer to your problem, just know youre not alone.