[scatterbrained04]

Not really a bipolar related post, but I feel comfortable with you guys. Sorry if it's all over the place...

I feel so inadequate at my job. Everyone pretty much vents to me about how bad everything is, and how much employees "get away with." I get told management (of which I belong) is a poor influence because we should be at the offices ALL the time. Everyone pretty much assumes they can do better than me.

Backstory: I am a single mom with a child that has ADHD/ODD and goes to a behavorial school a half hour north of where I live and out in the country. They have no after school child care options available, and quite frankly, I can't even afford child care. I work 5.5 to 6 hours in the office and about 2 hours a day at home. So I leave in the middle of the afternoon.

I'm at a loss. I don't know what to do. I constantly feel like I'm a piece of **** even though my job does mostly get done. Most of what I do I can do from home. I've been here 8 years. I always feel like I might get fired at any time, though I honestly don't know where I sit. I'm not sure if I should worry or if I'm worrying over nothing.

I feel like everyone I work with thinks they are better so much than everyone else sometimes

I know this is probably a giant mess to read.

[Imah]

If your superiors are happy with you, then I would question why your subordinates feel so comfortable to express their opinion of your situation. Perhaps your guilt is making you too open to allow that type of open relationship. No matter what their opinion, if your job allows you this flexibility - then I would begin pulling back from allowing open disrespect. A boss can't be overly friendly. Having been in management- I learned that the hard way. It is insubordination, and doesn't aid the company.

This is not a mess, we tend to be overly critical of ourselves because we do have to focus so much on our behavior to monitor ourselves. But try to own your self- appreciation, and discourage open contempt. If you don't know how to handle changing the atmosphere, and can't trust someone above you with your concerns - then seek training through management books. There are some really good ones out there.

"I have worked hard to be in my position, and I appreciate the opportunity." The end. No justifying yourself to your colleagues, it leaves room for questions - and if you spot light this, you may not like the results.

[Skeezyks]

Hello scatterbrained04: I have two thoughts with regard to this. First is that, particularly since you are management, you need to establish some firm boundaries. From what you wrote it sounds as though some, or possibly most, of the employees who vent to you are not peers. They're people who are below you on the management pyramid, so to speak. If you are management, you cannot be these people's friends or confidants. And even if these "complainers" are your peers, allowing them to vent to you is a very bad idea. Based on my experience, I would have to say that no good will accrue to you as a result of allowing this practice to continue.

Second, since it sounds like you are wondering if there is a possibility you might be fired, I wonder if you could schedule a meeting with your immediate supervisor & talk candidly about how you're doing & where you stand with the company. This would also give you an opportunity to reaffirm your commitment to the company & your determination to do the best job possible.

Here again this is just my opinion (based on my educational background & employment history as a vocational counselor) but I don't believe there is anything to be gained by simply waiting & wondering. Better to get things out in the open & know where you stand. If there are areas in which you need to make improvements, knowing about them, at least you have the possibility of addressing them. Otherwise, you're just operating in the dark hoping that the ax isn't headed your direction, so to speak. Good luck!

[scatterbrained04]

A lot of the comments are coming from other managers too

I'm not sure if things are really THAT bad or if people are just stressed out because we are short staffed. Everyone is complaining about almost everyone right now.

[Mountainbard]

Especially if you're short staffed, this is definitely the time of year for people to get cranky-- wishing their time off would come quicker. Kind of like kids waiting for Santa on Christmas Eve. I'd try not to worry if I were you. If you're getting your job done you'll be ok. Just hold on til the holidays are over and things should be better.

[scatterbrained04]

I think I AM at least partially to blame. I am sometimes too vocal when I get frustrated with a person and to the wrong people. I know I need to change this. At times, I think bipolar might be a bit to blame for my diarrhea mouth.

I do have a book on stopping workplace drama my boss gave me. My attention span for self-help type books is just non-existant!

I want to make things better, I just don't know how.

[Imah]

If your boss gave you a book like that (unless you expressed interest) I would read it and consider it a task assigned to you. If he gave it, I would consider it a warning sign. Also- perhaps if they are busy you can bend your schedule to work a few extra hours at work, or at home, making it clear you are doing this to help everyone get over this busy time. Maybe your fears are based in reality and you need to do something extra. A job that allows this flexibility is worth fighting for.

[Row Jimmy]

Sometimes, we try to measure ourselves against what the media or the rest of the world says we need to be, should to, or should aspire to be. That's the curse of modern society. It's like chasing the ultimate buzz - it isn't there and never will be. I chased it for years.

Don't worry about your job - corporate America doesn't care about anyone anyway. The person next to you is thinking the same thing. At the end of everything, all we can do is the best we can do.

[Woolly Bugger]

If I were you, scatterbrained, I'd probably have that honest discussion with my boss and ask to have my hours changed officially to six in the office and a minimum of two at home. Ask them to put it in writing -- in your contract in you have one, in a letter or email if you don't. This should force the issue, and you'll know exactly where you stand. Then I'd work my *** off to keep my job.