True or false? Holidays

It's the most wonderful time of the year....

True or False?

It is a nice idea. A beautiful idea that we formally appreciate our loved ones and our lives once a year.

But, It is so much pressure to falsely assume and perform and act that everything is happy and perfect.

There is a lot of unhappiness in the world.

Should we continue to celebrate the holidays? Even if we are unhappy?

Remember how Forrest Gump's mother used to say, "Stupid is as stupid does?" Perhaps we should change that to "Happy is as happy does." Then, if you do decide to celebrate the holidays and go through the motions of being happy, maybe you'll end up actually feeling a little happier on the inside. Just a thought.

I've had some amazingggg holidays when I've been hypo ...

But for the large part of it they suck because of my family all living on different continents

I like that "Happy is what happy does."

It is true our thoughts are important, but us bipolars...

I stood slumped in the kitchen feeling like a failure. Another Holiday treat recipe didn't turn out right. In this case, my brittle was toffee cement. My husband came in, hugged me and said something like," People create an expectation of the way things should be around the holidays, maybe because of how they were raised. They expect all these things to be done perfectly, and if it falls short they feel like they failed in some way. It's kind of a delusion to think things are supposed to be a certain way. And people commit suicide more around the holidays".

For me, it was a light bulb moment. I knew people get depressed more around holidays, but I didn't see how clearly I was following that pattern. I can't get all the presents for others I want. The treats I cook aren't as good as my mothers'. The snowball effect - my whole life is a failure, all because I am not meeting expectations of some imaginary reality. Just an idea of what things are 'supposed' to be like.

I felt better. The next day I melted down my brittle, heated it up more, re-poured it, and it was ok. I will never create the type of environment my mom did. My kids will never feel about me the way some of my siblings felt about my 'perfect' mother. I guess if I keep trying to like myself more and more, and accept myself - those ideals will fade.

It is not our job to create an image. There is too much of that in our lives already, and usually for me causes episodes.

I like the holidays except for the added stresses, especially being broke. I get anxious. But...

I love watching the excitement on children's faces.

I love spending time with my family.

Even if I feel dead inside.

I LOVE this time of year. It is crazy hectic for me and my family as we are all musicians and have a jillion rehearsals and performances, but there is absolutely no regret about any of it. Every performance is a joy and has some special aspect to it that makes it all worthwhile.

We don't overdue the commercialism and gift giving. Our kids are pretty much grown, so we are mostly beyond much gift giving. We much rather spend our money on activities we can do together.

I used to like it.
As an adult, I've always kept it pretty simple, but even so, over the years recognized various aspects as burdens (with resultant psychological and behavioral problems). So they have been dropped.

It's currently down to a small gift exchange with BF. And maybe a meal that is a little "upgrade" with meat. (Cooking has become difficult for me.) I also try to make a batch of biscotti to send to my (adult) son. Last year, I couldn't manage that till February. But I always do call him on the actual day.

That's it. Personally, I'd skip the gift part, but BF is a gift person.

Really, anymore I just wait for it to be over. It makes me sad to see people feel obligated to do things that make them stressed and miserable.

I'm sorry, but I've gotten to dread this time of year because not only that I'm broke every single year, but that one is almost required to call family and relations. Call your abusers and wish them a Merry Christmas! NOT!

This time of year is about families....

I've always been wasted from Thanksgiving to Easter.....gone.

I can do without the holidays.

Sorry to be a bummer.

The holidays were the only time my family actually acted like a family. So I liked them. Also as a parent now i feel like it is the only thing I do right for my family. Sure some things don't turn out perfect, but that just means another memory has been made.

I say we should celebrate the holidays as best fits us. Make your own traditions. Take things at your own pace. Take time out to breathe. Try to remember those who need to see you during the season (mostly by this I mean kids).

True! for me at least.

I love everything about it, the family, holidays, decorations, food, weather. The whole atmosphere during this time of year.

I usually enjoy this time of year, especially Christmas when the kids and husband get into their presents. There's something about giving to others that makes me happy.

This time, though, I'm working childhood abuse issues in therapy and it's kind of put a damper on things. I just hope I snap out of it before Christmas.

Honestly I can't stand the holidays. It's stressful and depressing. I had my psychotic break around the holidays last year.
One thing I need to consistently remind myself is that I should be grateful that at least this year I'm not in the hospital off my rocker.

I like to call Christmas, The Day of Blood and Money.

I should probably try and tell you something extremely positive but unfortunately I am with you on this.

It really is what you make it. Its lovely seeing humans gather and be filled with a "holiday spirit". To me it, it is just that. A spirit. As soon as the season is over, everyone goes back to their hateful ways.

Basically, don't feel bad. It is what you make of it. No matter what you do, if you really want to be doing it, it will fill you with a sense of happiness, or joy. Yes, these things aren't permanent but I am starting to see honoring yourself works out pretty well when it can be applied.

The Skeezyks does not do holidays...

Last year was my first Christmas after the divorce. Since I am technically Jewish (I always celebrated Christmas and Hanukkah) I agreed that my kids could spend Christmas with their dads. We still put up a tree here at home. Last year I went out to a movie and a restaurant with my sister. My parents spend the winters in Florida.

After coming home from the restaurant, I sat in my house and realized that my sons would never again be together at Christmas because they spend it with their respective fathers. I don't know if they realize the difference, but it made me very sad.

I sat home with the Christmas tree lit, and the lights from the mechanical star on top of the tree dancing on the ceiling like the Northern Lights and felt a loneliness that I have never in my life felt before. I was sad, but not in a depression. It was a proper reaction to having my very first holiday alone.

This year I am worried because I feel that I am actually in an episode. I don't know what that moment on Christmas night alone with my lit tree and my thoughts will be like. I might just decide to get very drunk and go to bed, which is weird for me because I hardly ever drink. At least it will be cheap because it won't take me much to get drunk and someone at my office gave everyone a couple of large bottles of winter brew.

Once the kids get home I will feel better and give them cinnamon rolls and a couple of gifts. We'll open our stockings and have our own little celebration.

Thank you everyone for answering. I wish everyone well. I went to a holiday party this evening. I have another party this weekend. I am trying to remain friendly and not isolate.

My mood has been ok. A little down sometimes.

It is pretty dark and gloomy where i live, weatherwise.

i think I am going to stop following the news for a while. All this terrorism **** and politics does not help. I want to be peaceful and serene.

It is all ********. It just makes the poor poorer and the rich richer. Who do you think owns the banks and credit card companys. They ain't Christians

I've spent the season making gifts for my nieces abbas i can't wait to see their faces when they get them.
The holidays are easier for me because i can see them through the eyes of these two precious little girls.

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