[Becoming]

I'm getting depressed again. Lot of stress and negative thinking. Awful weather lately too (rain and grey skies).

I'm having suicidal thoughts but not making plans. I have searched on tumblr for things about suicide or depression though.

I cannot stay away from a girl I kind of like. A lot of texting but she has shirt responses so I feel like she is not interested in talking to me. Sometimes I feel sad and she doesn't ask why or help me get through it. That makes me feel unworthy of her attention.

No pets to cuddle when I feel especially crappy. Not allowed. Living at home and mom says no. Lame. Bad for my mental health too. Animals are therapeutic for me...especially cuddly ones.

Lonely. Few friends. Most are too busy to hang out. I am too I guess. Stressed by my job. Make a lot of mistakes there and afraid I will be fired for them.

Just ugh. Hopeless. Unhappy. Stuck working a job that's just okay but very unrelated to what I went to college for.

Not having fun like going out to parties or clubs. Sit at home a lot after work. Sleep a lot or at least lay in bed a lot. Don't even really want to spend time with my family.

I feel I could sink deeper and become more suicidal. Negativity not good for my job either. Lots of triggers there because it's human services social work stuff.

Anyway excuse my complaining. Just feel incredibly crappy and alone at the moment. Thanks for reading.

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[PumpkinPieHead]

Hello, thanks for sharing.

x 100000 check back in soon, ok?

[Wander]

Feeling that way must be terrible. Does your pdoc or T know this? Maybe there are strategies and medications that can get you through this dark patch. Hang in there and stay safe.

[Mountainbard]

I'm sorry you're having such a rough time. I hope you have the number of a crisis line of suicide prevention hotline you can call if you need to. I too would ask if you've talked to your t or pdoc about this. Please keep posting here, and be safe.

[Becoming]

Originally Posted by PumpkinPieHead

Hello, thanks for sharing.

x 100000 check back in soon, ok?

Thank you! I will.

Originally Posted by Wander

Feeling that way must be terrible. Does your pdoc or T know this? Maybe there are strategies and medications that can get you through this dark patch. Hang in there and stay safe.

She isn't really aware it's gotten bad lately. I see her again next week and will share it with her. I am on meds but idk if it's a thought to kick it up only when I'm especially struggling (like now).

Originally Posted by Mountainbard

I'm sorry you're having such a rough time. I hope you have the number of a crisis line of suicide prevention hotline you can call if you need to. I too would ask if you've talked to your t or pdoc about this. Please keep posting here, and be safe.

I do have it. When feeling especially bad I may call it. Always feels weird to me. I usually use the chat online.

I'll talk with her next week about it.

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