Friends???????

Hi

I'm an outgoing/social-introvert/loner. If that makes sense.

I used to have many many friends my entire life, At work and outside of work.

In the last 4 years the friends have started to lessen and now I have zero.

I'm an attractive and nice, good-hearted female.

I'm not sure if the alcohol or the bi-polar worsened and the moods drove people away?

I'm now 11 days sober and newly medicated.

I feel better.

Now, I look back and see my tough outside, protective shell I had at times.

I'm now wondering where to start to meet new friends? I'm not going to go to 12 step meetings. I will join some type of hobby, so that is one place.

It is really hard starting OVER at this age, as I have no family here where I live, or anywhere, really.

Let me know if you have had any luck making new friends in recovery.

Gone, we all are in the same boat. With recovery comes a new environment and social circles including friends. Over time we realize it is a good thing so we don't fall back in enabling behaviors that enhanced our problems rather than let us work through them. Try the threads here, read them for similiar ones and pm the person making friends that way. It does work and it is wonderful the peer support on here. They in turn can share their networking skills in making other friends.. it will get better, tc

Thanks Omegalamed

I hope so..there is no where to go but up

I have done sobriety once before and made friends that way. I'm just not really interested in the 12 steps this time.

Thanks for your repsonse

I met 2 friends at my NAMI DBSA support group.
Here in Costa Rica I'm friends with my chauffeur and his family. His daughter has a dress shop and stays with me when she goes to the Garment District in LA,CA.
I'm friends with my caretaker and his family too.
I'm friends with a surfer who has a place here, but right now he's at his place in Bali.
I made friends with a pilot online when I looking for someone to stay here in Costa Rica. He's in CA. I was friends with a girl in my yoga class, but I'm not going anymore, and it's tough here cause I don't have a car.
Pura Vida! Maxy

After I got sober from alcohol I found that I lost my social life too. Then I realized that most if not all of my "friends" were just drinking buddies that enabled my addiction. Including my own family. I've always been an introvert though and liked my alone time and space. My social life now pretty much consists of this forum! I'm on here so much that I know it looks like I'm spamming the forum lol. I just hope others here don't see it that way. I'm probably on here too much! When I need to talk to someone or get out of the house, I talk to my brother. However he is an alcoholic but it doesn't bother me or trigger my addiction. I just wish he would get sober too! I don't think there's anything wrong with being an introvert as long as it's not effecting your mental health.

I have three none-local friends. Two I've known for 45 years. One I talk with on the phone and the other two via e-mail. All have had clinical depression for several decades. I could count my wife but she never wanted to learn about bipolar illness and still has no interest,though she has some type of mood/personality disorder, but she doesn't believe she has mental health problems.

I don't make friends, easily, and the friends I know have been in my life since we were teenagers. Thank goodness for the Internet and also being a ham radio operator. Day or night, I can always go online or go on the air to find someone to talk with. But it is nice to have someone local whom you can hang out with.

I had a similar experience after I cut the daily boozing from my life. That was in 2007 and I still have no real friend anymore. I mean, I still "talk" to my old friends and drinking buddies on Facebook, but that's pretty much the only interaction I have these days... oh and on internet forums.

I haven't seen any friends in person in going on 2 years (went up north for an old friend's 30th birthday like a year and a half ago). I mostly hang out with my sister, her husband and their kids these days.

To remedy this I joined an MHA clubhouse, but I haven't been there in months... don't know why, everybody there is very nice.