I Don't Like To Be Touched

No, you are not alone in this (as has been amply confirmed by other's posts here as well

PTSD has made me very sensitive and touch-averse. I don't like to be touched without my permission. I can't stand being crowded, or my exits blocked. Even if it is only someone "blocking" the entrance to my cubicle (an opening a few feet across).

I do shake hands at work, and try to keep my unease hidden. I absolutely hate hugs, and if someone attempts to sustain them, I will disengage myself forcibly if need be.

Since developing PTSD, touch feels smothering, it feels like someone is trying to drag me down or restrain me. While the years have softened my aggression about it, I am very clear about my boundaries. We have some people at work that are big huggers, and I have let one of them know, when they continued to insist on a hug despite my refusing, that their need to hug did negate my need to have my boundaries respected.

This has made dr's appts challenging. I hate having hands on me, and it has been an internal battle to sit still, to not react, when getting a checkup. This might be too personal, but I have been putting off my gynecological appts - I think i would punch my way through the dr's torso and/if they tried to touch me there! I am seriously afraid I would freak the ***** out. When my GP put the stethoscope on my back, under my shirt, I was off that table and out the door - pure adrenaline, fight-or-flight reaction.

I work every day to normalize my reactions. I don't think I have to surrender everything, but I am aiming to not let my reactions affect my health or quality of life.

Take care

Thank you for this quote (re: courage) -I find it very meaningful!