wife thinks I've lost it

LorrieTorrie · Jan 16, 2016, 02:37 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by cashart10

The other night my husband walked into the living room and just laid into me...everything from I need to eat better, exercise, and take care of myself...to I need to buck up and start thinking positively...then everything in between. He even said "you don't even care what you look like to me, do you?"

Well, I didn't get mad. Instead I asked what provoked such harsh and mean critism. He said that he heard me listening to Pearl Jam's Elderly Woman Behind The Counter In A Small Town over and over once again. He said he knew that when I start obsessing over songs so much things tend to turn badly. He knows me. Despite his concern, I'm still listening to the song. That said, he may very well be right. I would just suggest listening to those around you. If it is just an obsession, no harm done.

I feel like your husband and my husband are very similar. I read a lot of your posts and I can really connect to a lot of what you say.

cashart10 · Jan 16, 2016, 03:23 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by LorrieTorrie

I feel like your husband and my husband are very similar. I read a lot of your posts and I can really connect to a lot of what you say.

Yes. It stings, doesn't it? I should have known by the way my father in law treats my mother in law that it would sometimes be this way but I was naive and in love. I am still in love and I would have still married him had I known. My husband is not always such a boar. He speaks his mind harshly when he is very stressed or, more importantly, when he is scared. He worries about me constantly so if I do anything "questionable," out comes his "solve it" mentality instead of support. He thinks if I do A and B, I can come out of it, even after having seen me out of my mind entirely. I can't tell you how many times he's said "I've tried being nice and that clearly doesn't help. You need someone to be honest with you, not sugar coat things." He brings me to tears sometimes and then he always feels badly, and he always apologizes. I just wish he could understand how it hurts and think before he opens his mouth. One thing I have that it seems you don't is a strong support team with my family and best friend. I can't imagine what you must go through. PM me anytime you need to talk.

LorrieTorrie · Jan 16, 2016, 11:17 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by cashart10

Yes. It stings, doesn't it? I should have known by the way my father in law treats my mother in law that it would sometimes be this way but I was naive and in love. I am still in love and I would have still married him had I known. My husband is not always such a boar. He speaks his mind harshly when he is very stressed or, more importantly, when he is scared. He worries about me constantly so if I do anything "questionable," out comes his "solve it" mentality instead of support. He thinks if I do A and B, I can come out of it, even after having seen me out of my mind entirely. I can't tell you how many times he's said "I've tried being nice and that clearly doesn't help. You need someone to be honest with you, not sugar coat things." He brings me to tears sometimes and then he always feels badly, and he always apologizes. I just wish he could understand how it hurts and think before he opens his mouth. One thing I have that it seems you don't is a strong support team with my family and best friend. I can't imagine what you must go through. PM me anytime you need to talk.

It hurts so bad to feel alone. I can be in a room with my entire family and feel more alone than when I actually am alone. I'm really hoping that I can really commit to the meds and therapy and give myself a chance at an actual life, because what I'm currently doing is simply existing. It really does feel good to know that I'm not really alone

scatterbrained04 · Jan 17, 2016, 08:59 AM

I know YouTube-itis all too well. I seriously watched the video for Nirvana's "You Know You're Right" at least 20 times in a row the other day.

MistressStayc · Jan 17, 2016, 10:03 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Hashi/bipolar mom

I've learned to listen to my DH a lot, because sometimes I can't see the mania. I know you probably aren't doing anything you consider self destructive but is it taking any time from your wife or family or things you need to do? Are you still be productive and getting things done or are you escaping it? I've learned that if something makes me too happy over ANYTHING else then it could be a problem and I'm waiting for the crash. I'm not diagnosing, but just putting it out there since you asked.

This is exactly what I was going to say. My BF can read me like a book most of the time and while it drives me crazy to hear the truth, he brings things up out of love and concern. I have to remind myself that alot. It's alot harder for us to take a step back and see what others see but there are times we need to try. Your obsession, while bringing you much happiness, seems to be a bit over the top. I think you need to ask yourself, can I tone this down and still be happy? If you can't bring it down a level and still feel emotions as you say, then I think it is time to ask for help.

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wife thinks I've lost it

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