Letter to Bipolar

Dear Bipolar,

I feel that I have grown accustomed to you now. You are not a life ending condition I thought you once were. I do enjoy that I am much more creative from you, which really helps in designing jewelry and painting. I even have my own business because of you now. If I hadn't been hospitalized in June of last year, I would still be stuck at that dead end job, that I really hated. Getting fired was the best thing that could've happened to me. So thank you for that bipolar. If I hadn't got fired I wouldn't have been able to go to the retreat and meet my awesome t and shaman. This last break down, you really did open my eyes to trying something new. I was tired of being broken from you, but now I'm better with a lot of hard work. I feel that with the right meds and therapy I have finally beat you. You haven’t let me feel this way in 15 years. It was always one mood episode after another, so damn you bipolar for that. I feel like this massive bipolar weight has been lifted off my shoulders and I feel free to do what I want. I have goals and ambitions again, whereas before my only focus was to stay alive when I was battling you. I can finally feel the normal range of emotions I never felt when you were bearing down on my life. I have gotten rid of the negativity towards you and I feel that has been freeing in itself. I have become a lot more compassionate about you. I see now that I can use that compassion to help others struggling with you. I really enjoy helping people now that I have quelled you, and I feel like I have this wealth of knowledge to share to other people with bipolar and some other mental illnesses. The best part since getting you under control, is that I have gotten all my other comorbid disorders under control too. I am free now from anxiety, PTSD, OCD, and now you bipolar.

Amazing!
You conveyed the experience of a life and triumph w bipolar so eloquently.
I have similar feelings.
Thank you for sharing.

Inspirational post. Thank you for sharing. I've been having a difficult time accepting my diagnosis and still struggling to find my new "normal". This gives me hope that I will be able to enjoy life at some point instead of not wanting to live at all.

Kudos. Inspires me to do something similiar

Nice Job...I am happy you are better. I have yet to feel that strong.

I fought the bipolar 2 diagnosis for years. I did everything possible to convince myself and others I wasn't. That moment curled up crying in a hospital bed in December 2015 I inwardly said "I'm bipolar. I need help. I need lithium. I don't care anymore. I don't care what everybody's going to say or what it might mean to my future. I can't live like this now. I got to get better." It was actually incredibly freeing. I could take all that energy supporting a lie and use it to get better. I was relieved and slept that night for the first time in a long time.

Awesome!

Very inspiring, Mo! Thank you for sharing this

Thank you for sharing Hugs

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Very inspiring. Thank you.

Thank you for sharing!

I love this!!!!

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So good!! You captured the struggle so well and I love your perspective.

Thanks everyone. I finally sent it to my t and this was her response:

"Holy ****!!! (I know, real professional thing to say). This is amazing!!!! Thank you so much for sharing this with me. You have grown so much. Thank you so much. It is an honor to be part of your process"

Well that made my night.

If I could only get to that point of acceptance. I'm on a whole slew of meds but it always seems to need a tweaking here and there, frequently I might add. Acceptance means there's something wrong with me and growing up we weren't allowed any such ills. We had to always have a smile on our faces and act like nothing was ever wrong. Well there was plenty wrong and so to state the obvious I have trouble accepting something might be wrong with me. I am 4infinity but I'm not sure it shows up when replying to a post. Thanks for letting me babble!