Are you ever in denial about your bipolar?

xxblackrosesxx · Jan 22, 2016, 06:10 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by ~Christina

No I don't have any denial ... I have Bipolar. It is what it is and it explained most of my life, ( Late diagnosis age 43)

Am I thrilled I have Bipolar? Ahhh Nope .. But there are many worse things I could have to deal with.

that is very true. you could be dealing with being paralyised from the wasit down and using a wheelchair for life. that i am truely greatful of. i am glad to have all of my limp and have full capcity.

i'm only having long sleeps during mania because i am very ill with shingles ugh. but hey i am getting sleep from the tablets i have to take for shingles

xxblackrosesxx · Jan 22, 2016, 06:22 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by raspberrytorte

Yeah. Mostly because I don't have euphoric manias. At least not in a long time. And I haven't had an actual episode of depression in three (four?) years. And for the other stuff who doesn't get paranoid or see weird **** once in awhile or have strange beliefs?

wow that is a long time. so the meds must be working?

bornsiick · Jan 22, 2016, 07:00 AM

Honestly, I think this quite often depending on what "stage" of my bipolar disorder I'm in.

While I haven't been properly diagnosed, I had to do a great deal of research on my own given that my father would tell me to get over it and the one time I explained things to my mother she said. "I know someone who's bipolar, you're not." as if all cases are the same.

Whenever I have no medical background backing me up or anyone else for that matter, I also often feel as if I'm just all over the place.

xxblackrosesxx · Jan 22, 2016, 07:11 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by cashart10

Going back to my early 20's, I became very well (afer a long stretch of terrible, long sickness) and decided either I had never really had bipolar or God had healed me from it. Fast forward about 8 years (yes, I was stable minus some mild episodes that I reconized only in hindsight, for that long) to my psychotic break. For a couple of years after my psychotic break, I was too terrified (still am, actually, for the most part) to claim I did not have bipolar disorder. However, every time I start getting better, I start believing I don't really have it. That is bizarre considdering I have believed people could read my mind, believed and responded to the VOICE of God, and believed I was going to give birth to a prophet of sorts, to name a few things. But, especially when I'm manic, I can somehow convince myself that these things are true and that I am in fact chosen by God. When I have taken my medicine sporadically (which I have done rather than stopping entirely), the results have been detrimental.

hmm. right now I think I can talk to spirits which has been going on for a couple of weeks now. I keep going to these old ruins with my boyfriend to talk to them. I think I am talented and have a gift.

xxblackrosesxx · Jan 22, 2016, 07:13 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Moogieotter

Hey roses,

I am glad you are back at PC. Sorry you are struggling. Even after lots of clear evidence, I can still daydream and tinker with the idea that I am not really bipolar. I can look back at my clear manic episodes and try and rationalize them as just lack of sleep or high stress or something and not really caused by bipolar.

I usually catch myself pretty quickly and go back into acceptance mode. The stakes are high for me with my sons and family depending on me. I am stable and doing well, so I cannot risk entertaining these thoughts. I am also old and had my butt kicked by bipolar too many times to really believe that I don't have it.

Hang in there and keep posting.

moogs

don't worry. i'll keep everyone updated if there are any other changes. I'm off sick again from work but it's only because I have shingles and the drug I am taking for them are making me sleep for like 9 hours lol. I reckon they'll be a huge shock after my meds run out for shingles.

xxblackrosesxx · Jan 22, 2016, 07:16 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by LorrieTorrie

I have thrown out my medication so many times because I thought I was fine. I'm feeling pretty good now on these new meds, but I'm hoping that if I start to feel like that again, I can remind myself of all the harm I've caused my friends and family and keep taking the meds.

I have stopped taking meds for 4 days only because I ran out of them. didn't sleep and I was feeling very ill. but i'm still having the idea of stopping them again.

xxblackrosesxx · Jan 22, 2016, 07:23 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Nammu

Denial is my roommate right now. I'm going round and round do I need to take meds, maybe it's just a lie...

I pretty much think everything must be a lie. I actually miss not having to be on meds when I was 16. I've been on them for far too long.

RomanJames2014 · Jan 28, 2016, 01:59 PM

I think this a lot. It seems that when I get hypo manic or more manic, I believe that everyone is wrong and that there is no bipolar disorder and that I am just smarter than most people can fathom.
And then there's a moment or thought that brings me back to reality.

Sent from my iPhone using Tapatalk

jacky8807 · Jan 28, 2016, 02:15 PM

^^exactley. And it dosent help that that I have a father who is very anti Establishment and a believer of conspiracy theories so even out of an episode I'm suspicious of mind control!!

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