Started Clozaril

I took my first 25 mg of Clozaril a little bit ago. I thought this was a bedtime med but apparently not? They really aren't expecting me to be very sedated by it at all though. The hospital dr said it today and my own said it a few weeks ago. Something about the same receptors and mine already being very stimulated without making me sleepy. I got orders for ambien which will work for just a few days.

I now know what happens if this fails. This dr again (last time I was here it came up too) suggested maybe trying an old MAOI. I was honest with him that I struggle to take meds in the day consistently and that I even take thyroid at night with my dr's blessing because of this. But if this fails I'll have no other choice. I don't know why changing my AD would affect my cycling much but I think it's just people wanting to be sure everything is tried thoroughly. He asked if I was afraid of the diet. I've been on the diet for years, so no? That was kind of weird. I mean I can be more lax with Emsam at my usual dose but I've been on the high dose for months now and that means the stricter diet. So that was weird.

I hope the clozaril works. I took 25 tonight and get 50 tomorrow.

I hope it works for you.

Me too! The next option would be to change me to another MAOI and those have to be taken several times a day in the morning. I am not good at meds taken multiple times per day. I am so bad at it in fact that my pdoc and I already decided those weren't the best meds for me. But they'd be one of my only choices. This has to work or options are frighteningly limited. It would also be time for ECT since that's what they recommended if other things failed. ECT and then onto the other MAOI. Hopefully that doesn't happen.

How are you feeling?

Grouchy and anxious but MUCH better since I took klonopin. I took hydoxyzine this morning but I had gone to a very low dose at home and it wasn't enough for this. They increased the dose and I kept putting klonopin off because I didn't want to use my only one for today. But I'm glad I took it; I no longer am pacing the halls and my legs are pretty tired from doing that all morning. I had to stand in the back of a group and rock and bounce this morning.

But that's all that we get this weekend; all they have is visiting hours. I'm going to do laundry tomorrow. yippee.

Very irritable with other people until the klonopin and trying to stay polite. people making any noise is bugging me but I have to deal with it. I'm going to need to leave this room before too long.

Does your unit do grounds privileges? I've only been in one that does but it's awesome. You can leave the unit unsupervised for meals and any time there's no group running. The grounds are expansive, and they have a nice area with peacocks that roam around. It's nice just to get out sometimes. But I don't think too many units in my area do that.

I wish. No, this is a locked unit. And it is teeny which makes pacing kind of difficult. I'd love to get fresh air. But my pdoc says there aren't many or any unlocked units around here anymore because of liability. This building is just not designed for it; it's a regular hospital which has been converted so about half of it is psych. So I'm most of the way up a big building without access to any courtyard or anything.

I hope it works for you. *hugs*

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Sorry you are having such a tough time and I hope the clozapine works. Being locked up is very leasdifficult. When I am I pace the ward also. Keep posting. At least you have internet access.

How are you my friend?

Yeah, how are you rainbow?

It's been three days since I've seen you on here. I hope you are doing ok.