[ComfortablyNumb5]

Me and my younger sister rarely talk anymore. I went over my dads and saw she was in her room. So me, being happy and upbeat on my vyvanse, decided a nice heart to heart was passed due. We talked about boys and girly things, then we talked about what she wanted to be. Where she was going with her college studies and psychology came up. I said "so how do you see me and my bipolar and other issues?" She said she didn't know because she didn't fully understand what's going on in my head or really get bipolar. I said "ask away!" I was pretty excited actually. She asked why I do the things I do, make the bad decisions I make, and get hurt so easily. For an example i focused on my anxiety issues and work. How I'm emotionally wiped out by the job and the way I'm treated there. Then the tears came. I got a blank stare. She said "what makes your job so damn hard where you get this upset?" I tried to explain the long hours, the demanding doctor, the girls that treat me like garbage, and how this triggers my anxiety. She seemed totally unable to understand. Blank stare. Nothing. Then "so why are these things bothering you so much?" I tried to explain that it's the nature of the anxiety, the obsessive worry every morning before work, and the lack of proper rest that magnifies my anxiety, bipolar and everything else.

Blank stare. More tears. Then I put my coat on and went home to cry more, regretting the whole freaking convo.

Trileptal 600mg BID
Buspar 45mg
Seroquel 150-300mg for sleep
Ativan 1mg PRN
Vyvanse 70mg
Risperdal 4-6mg PRN

I don't get msgs unless the other person using tapatalk app!

[TryingToMoveForward]

This is exactly why I don't talk to family members about...well, anything.

I'm sorry she didn't understand, or at least validate you. Personally, I get everything you mentioned about the job because I struggle with my job too. People don't get why. They're not socially phobic in a sales position. :|

Some people don't have the capacity to empathize either. So don't be hard on yourself...feeling the way you do is valid. Her reaction means she just can't bridge to empathy.

[Wanderlust90]

Yeh it seems people who are happy & functioning are near on incapabale of understanding someone who is not coping with the same things as they can (demanding work, stressful & busy lives etc). It seems like to them we are simply over reacting & over dramatising everything. Especially if your having trouble with anxiety or mood. They seem to get that psychosis is a big deal & not under your control luckily.

It's how I see people who damn drug addicts & say look at me, Ive never touched a drug. I see more pride in being able to say I've experienced & understand addiction & yet have overcome it (not all my addictions mind you).

[ComfortablyNumb5]

Yea now I'm reminded why I don't tell family and why I've lost all my friends. Honestly her reaction made me jealous of her! The way she thought my issues were no big deal. Why can't I see them that way? Why can't I just brush it off and move on like her? We also talked about laughter. How she loves those deep, from your stomach laughs. I haven't been able to laugh like that in years. You'd be lucky to get a giggle out of me. She talked of her boyfriends and girlfriends and all the fun they have together. It made me sad. And very jealous. When was I robbed of these emotions? What took them away? When did I actually "snap" and lose it? Most of all, why am I so messed up and her so normal? And then it made me sad that this bright young sister of mine will never understand my pain. I won't be able to call her up and talk to her about the ***** at work that made me cry, or how I wanted to [trigger] cut today. She'll never understand. And I'll never share her laughter.

Trileptal 600mg BID
Buspar 45mg
Seroquel 150-300mg for sleep
Ativan 1mg PRN
Vyvanse 70mg
Risperdal 4-6mg PRN

I don't get msgs unless the other person using tapatalk app!

[Ocean Swimmer]

I'm very selective about to whom and what I share.
So sorry your sister cant be there for you.
By the way,because of my medicine I can't even cry anymore. I'm most disappointed about the lack of sex drive. And weight gain. Boo-hoo.

[Keegan2015]

I think that it's really important to be in control of your emotions and feel truly comfortable talking to people about areas of insecurity and instability before having potentially heavy conversations. If your sister is younger than you it could just be that it's hard for her to figure out how to react to her older sibling expressing distress or anxiety about their life.

[gina_re]

Sibling relationships are always complicated. I don't hide my diagnosis from my immediate family members because I need someone in my corner in the long run. You can tell them what's bothering you and why all day long, but it will still sound foreign. Give it to them in small doses as it comes up. My folks are slowly coming around. I hope it gets better for you as well. It can be overwhelming for everbody.

[hopeless2015]

HUGS!!

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