[boogiesmash]

So I have been depressed for few months. One of my recent sessions with my pdoc she encouraged me to go out on valentine day and do some of the singles event. I found a thing called a lock and key party in the city. Guys get a key girls get a lock. You go around mingling and seeing if your key opens her lock. If so you get raffle tickets and a new set of keys and locks. I found this on meetup

Well today I as feeling neutral. Not depressed went out to get a new outfit, which got me a little sad how much weight I've gained but look nice in it. I went to the gym and for the sake of saving me deleting and retyping went to work beforehand. Left early though to take a nap then go shopping. I ended the day with steamed chicken and broccoli from my Chinese place.

So how do I mingle. It has been so long since I've been out and moreover never been out by myself. How do I compose myself to be mr life at the party? By the any my pdoc told me that my goals should be to meet as many people as possible, not try to hook up. Her rationale being making new friends and evolving my social life. And most importantly be me.

[Imah]

Well, this will sound weird.

Feel your spirit 2 ways, first when it feels safe - its there, its you. Then feel it when it is shoved down and repressed - then it is like a nothing. Well - before you go to the party (or during the party when you need to regroup) take a moment alone, and feel your spirit - alive, warm within you. Put it in a bubble so it doesn't get hidden within repression and fear. Hold onto yourself in a warm loving way when you interact. Remember, you are your first best friend.

When you are talking to someone, if you begin to feel tense, don't let your facial muscles squeeze - instead choose to squeeze your calf muscles and keep your face relaxed. Nobody is seeing your calves.

Conversationally, there is a lot of stuff on the web posted about what to say- or not to. Remember not to make it heavy. If you get asked personal questions that make you uncomfortable just say, "meh, this is a party (smile and wink) lets just have some fun". Remember be true to yourself, what you do say should be honest without divulging. Always let time teach you when to unfold, then do so like a flower.

You can have 1 or 2 drinks to unwind, but try not to have more then 3. You want to be relaxed without being the life of the party (if you know what I mean)

If you want to bring a prop - a conversation piece, use something small. Tiny rubix cube, funny hat, flowers up your sleeve, bouncy ball. If your bored, pull it out and give it a go - or challenge someone. Sometimes keeping something in your pocket that is small, but that you love can give you confidence if you just hold it. I have a favorite rock. I don't show people that. There is a difference between a confidence item and a prop.

All fun begins with loving yourself and being your best friend. I got over weight recently after being the cute tiny one all my life. It has been a hassle not to just HATE myself. I can promise you - you are worthy of being liked, being loved.

Attractiveness is a combination of factors. These are my top 3.
1. Confidence without arrogance.
2. Hygiene (a sweaty mechanic with clean teeth is cool - a man in a suit with a booger is not)
3. Consideration of others. (don't be a doormat - but don't use your elbows to push yourself forward= kindness with flexible strength)

Have fun! Remember, a smile takes less muscles then a frown. Be lazy and SMILE!

[TishaBuv]

This sounds like fun. You get to go around the room putting your key in their locks, so you get to talk to everybody. I would go over to the people I find most attractive first, when they are not talking to any other guys. Say "Hi, can I try your lock?" If it doesn't work say "Too bad". If she says anything that seems like she wants to talk to you at all, chat for a few minutes. Then excuse yourself and keep trying more locks. When you find your matching lock. Ask for her number regardless because "you must be a good match ha ha". Don't spend all night talking with only one woman. Talk to at least 4. Go back to the few who you had good conversations with and ask for their numbers and give them your business card. Have fun, playa!

[TishaBuv]

Originally Posted by TishaBuv

This sounds like fun. You get to go around the room putting your key in their locks, so you get to talk to everybody. I would go over to the people I find most attractive first, when they are not talking to any other guys. Say "Hi, can I try your lock?" If it doesn't work say "Too bad". If she says anything that seems like she wants to talk to you at all, chat for a few minutes. Then excuse yourself and keep trying more locks. When you find your matching lock. Ask for her number regardless because "you must be a good match ha ha". Don't spend all night talking with only one woman. Talk to at least 4. Go back to the few who you had good conversations with and ask for their numbers and give them your business card. Have fun, playa!

If you want to be really smooth, buy one or two that you really like a drink.

[boogiesmash]

Thanks for the advice guys. Sounds solid.

[boogiesmash]

Klonopin beforehand?

[TishaBuv]

Did you go? Was it good?

[boogiesmash]

Originally Posted by TishaBuv

Did you go? Was it good?

I had a great time. A lot of people approached me and I hit it off with one girl and we exchanged info. Felt like old times except I was solo. I was apprehensive about it and did end up taking a klonopin and it did calm me down. I think I ended up talking to about 20 different people. I'd definetly do it again. Thanks for asking .