[1278]

Hey everyone I’m a 22 year old medical student who is halfway through but I’m unsure if I should go back. I’m bipolar 2, rapid cycling with mixed episodes and I’ve been in hospital 6 times in the last two years. Nothing so far has kept me stable and my parents (dad) have been pushing me to go back so I can finish my degree but I honestly don’t see it happening. I can’t just sit at home because it just feeds the cycle of depressive phase of my bipolar and I don’t want to start a new degree not knowing what I want to do. My dad is so pessimistic about everything; he refuses to see that I can’t handle the workload and hours of being a doctor. Every option is a fail for him, my psychiatrist and psychologist have both tried talking to him countless number of times but he refuses to listen. I have no support system besides my parents and no one even knows I’m sick .We are not well off financially so it’s easier to finish my degree than start a new one but at what cost? I’m so confused and frustrated.

[Ocean Swimmer]

Is it possible to return to school on a part time schedule?
Also after you complete your education it can be up to you how many hours to put into your career.
Are you taking meds to help you combat the depression?

Please don't expect your family to understand mental illness. Parents almost never get it. Some are in denial. Like how could I produce an imperfect child.

I've even tried to make the correlation between what I suffer and mental retardation. I've worked in a mental hospital for the retarded for 4 years.

[1278]

It's honestly not possible to do school part time. I thrived in the first three years because it was mostly academic based with some clinical work. Now its mostly clinical work and I don't enjoy it as much, and I know I can specialize in something like pathology but I don't know if I'll make it past the clinical years. I was on antidepressants like effexor, cymgen, cipralex, prozac etc but they made me rapidly cycle and suicidal. I was on seroquel but I slept all day and couldn't function. I also had ECT and it did nothing.I only expect my parents support because I literally have no one else, no family or friends to rely on.

[TryingToMoveForward]

In the end, you need to do what is best for you regardless of how it affects other people. You need some time to get stable and learn how to deal with this disorder. Then once you have a handle on things, school will always be there. It doesn't sound like being a doctor is something you really want, or really fulfills you like you may have thought it would? Could that be part of it? There are other career options besides that.

[1278]

Originally Posted by TryingToMoveForward

In the end, you need to do what is best for you regardless of how it affects other people. You need some time to get stable and learn how to deal with this disorder. Then once you have a handle on things, school will always be there. It doesn't sound like being a doctor is something you really want, or really fulfills you like you may have thought it would? Could that be part of it? There are other career options besides that.

I didn't want to be a doctor, it was something I did to make my parents happy, at first it was okay, but now just the thought of going back gives me anxiety. My parents just want the best for me, I think they think that I'm wasting my potential by not being a doctor and just being a teacher like they are. Fine, I may struggle, but maybe I'll be happy in my job because I enjoy it.

[newtothis31]

Finding a job that makes you happy is the best thing you can do for yourself. Right now, you're in a tough spot. It really takes a long time for bipolar medications to become effective.

The best thing that I've done for managing my bipolar is building a strong network of friends who can support me. Not all of them know about bipolar, but all of them play a role in providing me with support. I'd recommend joining some meet-up groups about some things that interest you: whether its reading, going to local historical places in town.

Coloring has also helped me practice mindfulness.

Just don't give up!

[gina_re]

Originally Posted by 1278

I didn't want to be a doctor, it was something I did to make my parents happy, at first it was okay, but now just the thought of going back gives me anxiety. My parents just want the best for me, I think they think that I'm wasting my potential by not being a doctor and just being a teacher like they are. Fine, I may struggle, but maybe I'll be happy in my job because I enjoy it.

I think you may have your answer. If pursuing this career path wasn't your first choice and is causing you anxiety, maybe it isn't for you. What does your gut tell you? In a perfect world, what do you want to do with your life?

[1278]

Originally Posted by newtothis31

Finding a job that makes you happy is the best thing you can do for yourself. Right now, you're in a tough spot. It really takes a long time for bipolar medications to become effective.

The best thing that I've done for managing my bipolar is building a strong network of friends who can support me. Not all of them know about bipolar, but all of them play a role in providing me with support. I'd recommend joining some meet-up groups about some things that interest you: whether its reading, going to local historical places in town.

Coloring has also helped me practice mindfulness.

Just don't give up!

Thank you for the kind words Just the struggle to get stable has been so frustrating, I feel like I've tried almost everything, I feel like even my p doc has given up on me she has no idea what to do next