[Pastel Kitten]

Depression, depression, depression. I haven't been hypomanic since the beginning of January and that's a long time ago for me because I'm rapid cycling. I haven't been able to get much of anything done at all, unlike what I can do when I'm hypomanic. I'd always look forward to its return because I knew it would entail a clean house, lots of projects getting done amongst other responsibilities or hobbies, and in general feeling good. I know that being in either extreme is not good, but who wouldn't take euphoric hypomania over depression? I just want to get out of this rut I'm stuck in. This house is a mess and so am I.

[TryingToMoveForward]

I feel the same way! My hypomania ended in September and I've been dragging sense. I had a depressive episode but now I'm just mostly stable except for erratic unstable emotions, not so much moods. I'm begging for another hypomanic phase so I can loose another 15 pounds. I worked out sometimes twice a day when I was hypomanic and I lost so much weight, it was incredible! I managed to lose 7 pounds the past 3 weeks but its best when its warm outside so I can walk. I'll be doing some exercising today at the park, if its not below 20 degrees. There's so much I would get done at work. House work.

I haven't been depressed, but I haven't been happy either. Emotionally I've been on a roller coaster and unstable. I miss the hypo-high. Its bound to come around the corner soon. Personally, I'm ready to feel like a sexy rock star again. Its like I become a different person, so confident, sarcastic and sassy. I'm excited just thinking about it. LOL.

[1278]

My hypomania is coming to an end unfortunately so I feel your pain.I also rapidly cycle but its mostly mixed and depressive episodes so it was refreshing to be hypomanic for once. Hopefully things will work out soon enough

[Pastel Kitten]

I was stable for a little over 3 weeks I think, other than the erratic emotions like what you are describing as well haha. I've been depressed for a little over 2 weeks now, I think. I haven't been keeping track but I know it's been 2 weeks at minimum and I don't see any signs of it stopping anytime soon.

I know!! When hypomanic I feel like the wisest person on earth. It becomes hard to fathom how everyone moves at the pace of a drunken snail when I'm soaring above and faster than anyone and everyone! The rate at which I get things done is crazy. I always have this silly smile on during the hypo-high, at the most inappropriate times - like, cleaning the floor. Who smiles at that? haha

[Pastel Kitten]

Originally Posted by 1278

My hypomania is coming to an end unfortunately so I feel your pain.I also rapidly cycle but its mostly mixed and depressive episodes so it was refreshing to be hypomanic for once. Hopefully things will work out soon enough

I had a mixed episode in December and it was the worst thing I've experienced mood-wise.

[1278]

Originally Posted by Pastel Kitten

I had a mixed episode in December and it was the worst thing I've experienced mood-wise.

Yeah mixed episodes are hell, I wouldn't wish those on anyone, I also had one in December/January coincidentally

[Ocean Swimmer]

What you experience as mixed I have black mania.
It would be great if Meds could let a person live in a relaxed state of hypo.
My episodes are severe. With no sleep for days-usually 4 then psychosis sets in.

I think anyone who is awake for Four or more days gets crazed.

[TryingToMoveForward]

Trust me...hypomania is not a relaxed state! Though obviously not as severe and full blown mania that you're accustomed to. I get 5-6 hours of sleep hypomanic, and I think its because the anti-psychotic knocks me out. That is generally less sleep than I normally get. But during waking hours, there is no rest and relaxation. I become restless as hell, walking sometimes 6 miles a day to burn off the excess energy that I don't otherwise know what to do with.

Its bad enough being restless with ADD. Hypomania is so much worse. And you're thoughts race. But I come up with some of the most brilliant ideas while hypomanic, a story arc for a novel I'm working on, for example. Multiple expansive complex storylines for my roleplaying group. People tell me my creativity and writing talent is at the genius level. Its the best when I'm hypomanic.

[CycloMary]

I was just thinking this today.
I'm tempted to go off my meds & deal with my BP the way that it was.
But many have said maybe I just haven't gotten used to the meds.
I am trying to hang on & give the meds a chance to work.
But the depression & mixed moods suck.
I don't feel like myself.

I just want my energy back, my confidence, etc.

Hugs to you, kitten. I totally get it.