[lotus027]

I am a nurse, and I've worked on a stressful cardiac unit for the last two years. I thought I was managing fairly well, but I have finally collapsed under the weight of the stress and illness. I was diagnosed with BP1 seven years ago, and it's always been a battle, but right now I can barely function. I'm on short-term disability leave currently, but as a single person, the lapse in income has put me in jeopardy of being evicted from my apartment.

My parents have been letting me stay with them the last two weeks, while I've been unable to manage basic daily functions. If I do get evicted, they will let me live with them. I am lucky to have them. I am struggling however, as a 32 year old woman, feeling my independence slipping away. My parents do not understand bipolar disorder and I'm getting the impression that my father, especially, feels I'm being lazy and just not trying hard enough. I know that they are both frustrated with me, because they don't understand that I am failing, despite doing my absolute best.

I would appreciate any suggestions on how to help my parents understand that I have a real illness as opposed to a character flaw. I have talked with them and printed a few things for them to read, but they are very old school and skeptical. I try very hard to manage on my own, so that I won't be a burden to them, but I really need them right now.

Please don't misunderstand, I am very grateful to have a place to stay. I love my parents, I just worry that they are growing to resent me. Thanks for taking the time to read this and for any advice you may have.

[hahayeahtotallylol]

Just show them. Stop printing articles for them and open up emotionally.

[Raindropvampire]

Are you in therapy? Would you be willing for them to come to a session so someone else could explain it?

[venusss]

Originally Posted by hahayeahtotallylol

Just show them. Stop printing articles for them and open up emotionally.

Pretty much this. Talk about how it is FOR YOU. If you print something out and 60% of the symptoms aren't visibible in you... it will not drive the point home.

[Ocean Swimmer]

It's so hard with parents. I think part of their denial comes from their desire to see children as having no flaws. Perfect.

My husband seems to understand sometimes. But then just like your dad, I get it from him that I'm not trying. If only I would make some goals then I would be motivated. He's sat in with my Pdoc. Been to my support group meetings. Put me ip 5 x. He still doesn't understand.

But ya know what? I don't understand all of the implications of bipolar either. Why sometimes I feel like I can't even take a shower.

You're in your mid 30's. We've got to get you well enough to return to work. I think that is a priority. Do you really click with your Pdoc and Theripist? Are you in group?
Do you have a great friend you can confide and talk to ?

Your parents are going to be a hard sell. I saw pictures of cat scans of a depressed brain vs a brain of a person who was not depressed. That was pretty powerful. Maybe that would help your folks see that it is real.

[Phm0105]

I think it is hard in general for people to understand. My wife had a hard time understanding till I took her to one of my appointments. I don't like the word mental illness. Just the word mental in front of it puts thoughts of doubt in people's minds. The problem is you can't see it on some X-ray or scan. You can't have blood test or what ever to see what is going on. I mean do you ever hear someone say to someone with cancer to suck it up and it will get better? It is very hard for people to understand what is going on when they have never been through it. To me it is no different then trying to understand what someone is going through if they had cancer. I had a friend ask me how do I know that I am just feeling blue and that I should be able to snap out of it. I said to him have you ever wanted to put a gun to your head and pull the trigger? That you did not want to die but rather just have the pain go away. I said that is how I know it is an illness. The best advice I could give you that has helped me is this. People may not understand. Don't try making them understand. Tell your parents what you are going through and that you need help. Tell them the truth of how you feel. Tell them that you want to get better. Let them know that you are not choosing to get up everyday and suffer from this illness. Open up to them. Once I started doing that the healing began. Be honest to them and I bet they will start to understand on their own.

[Victoria'smom]

Parents don't want to hear their child is sick. Especially when they can't see it. The thing that got through to my mom was when I had to tell her I cut myself and she's going to see the scars when she saw me. My dad I made a joke about it and left it at that. Neither one asked why which was good but I had planed to tell them if they asked. It showed my pain. It helps that I have a brother in jail for trying to defend himself against a delusion.

[gina_re]

Originally Posted by venusss

Pretty much this. Talk about how it is FOR YOU. If you print something out and 60% of the symptoms aren't visibible in you... it will not drive the point home.

I think this is true. When I talked to my mom about what I was actually feeling; the thoughts that raced through my head and what it actually felt like, she started to come around. I still have my doubts here and there. However, at least I got her asking me if I took my meds if I complain about a bad day. I'm still human!