[Ocean Swimmer]

When I was young I liked men who were " rock star" bodies.
I've always liked men who were younger than me.
I've never had a bipolar boyfriend, but in the old days lots used Coke. Pot too.
Just like some men like a full chested woman, I like a well endowed man.
Funny though. Not for sex. Just for show.
Now that I'm older, my bipolar is worse. I need friends that understand and don't expect me to go out all of the time.
I also made friends with some guys my other friends told me were not attractive. I guess I'm better at looking at inner qualities.
Like my friend who died. He started out at 300 lbs. ended up over 550. Ate himself to death. So sad. We fished every day. He observed in my boat so I could ski and wakeboard. He drove my girlfriend and I to Jazzercise every day. I really miss him. We did break up a few years before he died. It was ok hard to watch him kill himself.
I just heard from an old friend I've known for 30 years. He has prostate cancer.
I'm really bummed by that.

[venusss]

So sorry about your loss.

[Ocean Swimmer]

I know. I intend on writing about one thing, then my loss takes over I guess. We were very close.
He made a huge dinner once at my Desert cabin for a friend of ours for a surprise birthday party. He made a huge roast and carnitas pork. It was so much fun. I went bike riding with the birthday boy so he'd be totally surprised.
The cabin is only 750 sq ft and there were like 25 guests.
I wasn't manic. Just super happy.

[BlueInanna]

I'm so sorry you lost your friend. Sounds like a sweet heart. The kind you can just relax and be yourself with.
Also sorry to hear about the friend with cancer You must have such a heavy heart right now.
Sending love.

[DesigningWoman]

He sounds like he was a wonderful person. It also sounds like you are pretty terrific yourself to have such a devoted man in your life.
As for attractiveness, I think everyone's Tastes change over time. As we mature, I hope we truly begin to see the whole beauty of a person, not the skin and bones.
I have a very large weight problem myself. Thanks in part to psych meds. I will spend the rest of my life battling it. I know some people probably think I am fat or gross or lazy. I hope in the end though it's not about that.
A friend of mine (very tall, thin, and pretty) told me she had no idea how much her husband (not tall, thin, or handsome) truly loved her until she had a tragic illness. He stayed by her side, wiped her tears when she cried, patiently soothed when she raged, and washed her hair when she couldn't. She said at that point it wasn't about looking good or being attractive and fun. It was about nursing someone you love so much you would trade your own life away to save. She recovered and they are still very much together.
I think it's a good story because so much love is sold on physical attraction, hotness, youth, and beauty. But love can come in many forms in such different people.

[Ocean Swimmer]

Such a great post. Thank you.

[i]Condolenses are headed your way{/i]

I do in fact have different preferences than when I was younger. I wouldn't say I am settling but I am attracted to different sorts of men than I was when younger - like intellectual substance and sensitivity. While looks were once important that doesn't seem so anylonger.

I also have completely different preferences now when it comes to hobbies and activities. When I was younger it never would have occured to me that the outdoors would be such a significant interest of mine.

[BastetsMuse]

Yes, I've changed from when I was in my 20s.... I'm in my 50s now. I'm quieter. I take my meds religiously and don't fight that I need them. I know the bipolar would be hideous without the meds.

I used to be able to work but am now on disability. I tried to get a part time job, but can't even manage an interview, sad to say.

My relationships are fewer than they used to be, but I'm content with that. I have a solid relationship with hubby #2.... my first marriage was a mess and I'm glad I'm out of that...I divorced when I was 41 and even the past ten years have been full of changes.

Life is about change, you know.

[Ocean Swimmer]

I'm glad you made the change. Good for you. So hubby #2 is a keeper!

[hahayeahtotallylol]

Yeah, used to prefer huge tits and massive cocks, now I go for the nerd with a mole on her upper lip, because I know she'll drive me to jazzercise without bite back. When the nerd died, it was a great inconvenience for me and my friends.

It's no wonder why all my useless **** gets stolen from my home..

[Ocean Swimmer]

I went to Jazzercise for 18 years.
I know the massive cock syndrome.

[hahayeahtotallylol]

I like eating waffles, but i don't like to read

[Ocean Swimmer]

Let go my Eggo.
At the other house I have a waffle iron. Here just an omelet cooker. Or pan fried pancakes.

[hahayeahtotallylol]

I dont know how i missed this post.

I will Not let go your eggo, ma'am.

[Standup2me]

Swim, I think that you've been blessed to have had someone like that in your life. I don't think that most people ever have angels like that pass through their lives. The memories are more valuable than diamonds

[Ocean Swimmer]

Yes. I need to remember thru all the pain that I have been truly blessed.
My scars are in the inside.
Thru the bipolar sorrow I've survived. I'm in my mid 50's. Life has just begun.
Love and hugs.

[Woolly Bugger]

My preferences now are exactly the same as they were when I was a teenager. Nothing has changed. But thanks for asking, Ocean Swimmer. You always come up with the most entertaining threads.