[1278]

Sorry for posting so much, I'm just going through a really rough patch right now and no one seems to (or wants to) understand. I'm angry, irritable, anxious, paranoid, having racing thoughts and just feel like I want to throw something and jump out of my skin. I'm taking geodon,(which is making my anxiety so much worse), and upped my lamictin (which I thought would help my rapid cycling but I don't know what its doing). I can't go into hospital because I just went in January(my insurance won't pay) and I am going for a forth opinion with a new pdoc in 2 weeks. Hopefully I get some answers, (and survive until then with my mood swings!) if not, I just don't know Just reading everyone's posts though helps a lot, and keeps my mind off my situation. So thanks everyone for keeping me going in what seems to be the lowest point in my life. I appreciate all the advice and support

[amadan7]

do not apologise for posting. we all need support sometimes and dysphoric mania is an absolute pain to deal with. it is awful when you want to just jump outside of yourself one minute and curl up into a ball the next and nobody gets it. have you xanax or klonopin to take or anything to help with relaxation at all? music sometimes helps me or a nice long bath with essential oils. i hope your new pdoc is of some help to you. it is difficult to control dysphoric mania and difficult to live with it. good luck with it. hugs

[Tucson]

Originally Posted by 1278

Sorry for posting so much, I'm just going through a really rough patch right now and no one seems to (or wants to) understand. I'm angry, irritable, anxious, paranoid, having racing thoughts and just feel like I want to throw something and jump out of my skin. I'm taking geodon,(which is making my anxiety so much worse), and upped my lamictin (which I thought would help my rapid cycling but I don't know what its doing). I can't go into hospital because I just went in January(my insurance won't pay) and I am going for a forth opinion with a new pdoc in 2 weeks. Hopefully I get some answers, (and survive until then with my mood swings!) if not, I just don't know Just reading everyone's posts though helps a lot, and keeps my mind off my situation. So thanks everyone for keeping me going in what seems to be the lowest point in my life. I appreciate all the advice and support

Fourth opinion? You are a persistent and determined person. Both are good qualities in seeking the help that works for you. I say this from personal experience. Just do not be quick to judge the next pdoc. Try to be patient. Once you make your decision, I think it takes at the very least several months to determine if you have made the right decision. This is just my opinion.

Tucson

[1278]

Originally Posted by Tucson

Fourth opinion? You are a persistent and determined person. Both are good qualities in seeking the help that works for you. I say this from personal experience. Just do not be quick to judge the next pdoc. Try to be patient. Once you make your decision, I think it takes at the very least several months to determine if you have made the right decision. This is just my opinion.

Tucson

Thanks, my first pdoc misdiagnosed me with MDD and made me have ECT (which did nothing), the second one flaked out on me completely(ignored my calls etc) and my current one( I've seen her for about a year)basically has no idea what she's doing in my opinion. I've been on 10-15 meds and in hospital 6 times in 2 years so I definitely feel angry and frustrated and also a bit guarded when it comes to pdocs.

[ComfortablyNumb5]

((Hugs)) i wouldn't wish dysphoria on anyone. Since I've been so "up" I'm afraid it will bite me and turn into this though. That's usually my pattern before the crash. I take risperdal for my dysphoria and I haven't had it in awhile. It's a godsend for me! Just a heads up, lamictal triggered my dysphoria big time! Every time I'd titrated up a dose, I got it for a few days. It was absolutely hell. I went off and said horrible things to people. I'm embarrassed just thinking about it. (But in my defense, one of these people did deserve it lol). If you're not comfortable with this pdoc then can you easily find a new one? The relationship with your mental health team is so important. I've told my pdoc office quite a few times "I need a new one NOW!" As far as hospitalization, I'm not sure what insurance you have but I would look into Medicaid to help. When I was hospitalized without insurance, they would send a social worker to meet with me and they got me on a temporary plan at least to help pay. Good luck and stay strong. Hope you feel better soon!

Edit: that's a bummer that geodon isn't working for you! That was going to be my next suggestion for a sleep med. Well back to the drawing board! Lol

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[Tucson]

Originally Posted by 1278

Thanks, my first pdoc misdiagnosed me with MDD and made me have ECT (which did nothing), the second one flaked out on me completely(ignored my calls etc) and my current one( I've seen her for about a year)basically has no idea what she's doing in my opinion. I've been on 10-15 meds and in hospital 6 times in 2 years so I definitely feel angry and frustrated and also a bit guarded when it comes to pdocs.

I wish this had not been true for you!

On the pragmatic side, I think you need to change the criteria that you use in the selection process for your next pdoc. I agree with you that the pdocs you have had in the past were not working for you. I can tell this by your hospital stats alone. You need to interview them before you permit them to evaluate you. Tell them that your pre existing statistics on how often you have been in the hospital in only TWO years is enturely unacceptable to you. That you will do everything in your power not to permit that to happen again, including firing them and finding another pdoc. I do think the next pdoc will respect you after you have said this.

Of course this has to be in your own words.

Tucson

[*Laurie*]

Dysphoric mania is sheer hell. I started having it in my 50's...no more nice hypomania (feeling ecstatic over beautiful things, over hearing music, etc.), instead I became horrifically anxious, edgy, mixed states. and so on.

A few months ago I was prescribed Latuda and hydroxyzine. FINALLY the severe anxiety calmed some. No, it's not 'gone' - but it is improved. btw, Geodon was not a good med for me at all. It seemed to keep me in a constant state of flux, and did nothing to help my anxiety, sleep, and barely touched my depression.

[ComfortablyNumb5]

Originally Posted by LauraBeth

Dysphoric mania is sheer hell. I started having it in my 50's...no more nice hypomania (feeling ecstatic over beautiful things, over hearing music, etc.), instead I became horrifically anxious, edgy, mixed states. and so on.

A few months ago I was prescribed Latuda and hydroxyzine. FINALLY the severe anxiety calmed some. No, it's not 'gone' - but it is improved. btw, Geodon was not a good med for me at all. It seemed to keep me in a constant state of flux, and did nothing to help my anxiety, sleep, and barely touched my depression.

Don't mean to get off topic but how do you like Latuda? Has it helped with sleep at all?

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[1278]

Originally Posted by Tucson

I wish this had not been true for you!

On the pragmatic side, I think you need to change the criteria that you use in the selection process for your next pdoc. I agree with you that the pdocs you have had in the past were not working for you. I can tell this by your hospital stats alone. You need to interview them before you permit them to evaluate you. Tell them that your pre existing statistics on how often you have been in the hospital in only TWO years is enturely unacceptable to you. That you will do everything in your power not to permit that to happen again, including firing them and finding another pdoc. I do think the next pdoc will respect you after you have said this.

Of course this has to be in your own words.

Tucson

Its been so hard because I've been to most of the pdocs in my area! Because I'm in South Africa I'm yet to find a pdoc that specializes in bipolar or actual is competent in treating bipolar

[1278]

Originally Posted by RxQueen875

Don't mean to get off topic but how do you like Latuda? Has it helped with sleep at all?

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Its not available in my country yet

[*Laurie*]

Originally Posted by RxQueen875

Don't mean to get off topic but how do you like Latuda? Has it helped with sleep at all?

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I take Seroquel for sleep, but I'm pretty sure that Latuda also makes me sleepy. So far I'm pretty pleased with it. No noticeable side effects, it has helped my anxiety quite a bit and seems to be a decent antidepressant. I'm on 80mgs.

[*Laurie*]

Originally Posted by Tucson

I wish this had not been true for you!

On the pragmatic side, I think you need to change the criteria that you use in the selection process for your next pdoc. I agree with you that the pdocs you have had in the past were not working for you. I can tell this by your hospital stats alone. You need to interview them before you permit them to evaluate you. Tell them that your pre existing statistics on how often you have been in the hospital in only TWO years is enturely unacceptable to you. That you will do everything in your power not to permit that to happen again, including firing them and finding another pdoc. I do think the next pdoc will respect you after you have said this.

Of course this has to be in your own words.

Tucson

Great advice if one lives in a major metropolitan location and has fantastic health insurance. Otherwise, one is lucky to find a pdoc at all.

[1278]

Originally Posted by LauraBeth

I take Seroquel for sleep, but I'm pretty sure that Latuda also makes me sleepy. So far I'm pretty pleased with it. No noticeable side effects, it has helped my anxiety quite a bit and seems to be a decent antidepressant. I'm on 80mgs.

I did try seroquel twice (25mg) but I gained 20kgs in 6months and I would sleep for over 14 hours. Its hard because when I was depressed (which I was at the time clearly) I didn't need more sleep. Now that I'm manic I guess I do need Seroquel for sleep but I'm so worried about weight gain thats why I was looking for weight neutral AAPs like geodon and abilify) Is latuda weight neutral?

[Tucson]

Originally Posted by LauraBeth

Great advice if one lives in a major metropolitan location and has fantastic health insurance. Otherwise, one is lucky to find a pdoc at all.

Yes, good point. Perhaps the OP does not have any insurance? If they still can get themselves to a public clinic, wouldn't this turn out to be a more realistic choice? At the very least, one on a sliding scale of payment terms? The clinic should have several pdocs working there. So there still is some choice. But if the OP lives somewhere in the country with no affordable transportation, then that would be distressing indeed. However, I do see the OP has been able two see more than one pdoc thus far. I hope this is a good sign with regards to what they can afford to do.

Tucson

[1278]

Originally Posted by Tucson

Yes, good point. Perhaps the OP does not have any insurance? If they still can get themselves to a public clinic, wouldn't this turn out to be a more realistic choice? At the very least, one on a sliding scale of payment terms? The clinic should have several pdocs working there. So there still is some choice. But if the OP lives somewhere in the country with no affordable transportation, then that would be distressing indeed. However, I do see the OP has been able two see more than one pdoc thus far. I hope this is a good sign with regards to what they can afford to do.

Tucson

I do live in small town, so I have been travelling a bit far out for medical care but its a sacrifice me and my family had to make.